Argument 51 【7\8\9\10】 7.21(第一次作业) by general

general727UID: 2494818

Argument 51

The argument is well-presented, but not thoroughly well-reasoned. In the argument author cites a comparison of two groups of people suffering the secondary infections after severe muscle strain. One was treated by a doctor who specializes in sports, using antibiotics throughout their treatment, while another one is treated by a general physician doctor, without antibiotics. The conclusion that the author provided that antibiotics should be used as part of the patients' treatment, patients with muscle strain seems logical.

To begin with, the conclusion shows that antibiotics are helpful for the treatment of muscle strain patients. However, the study has just provided the relationship between antibiotics and secondary infections. Does muscle strain must cause secondary infections? We could find any evidence to answer these questions. Maybe it is just a coincidence or in a small probability. If muscle strain doesn't lead secondary infections, there is no meaning to use antibiotics during the treatment. So it is impossible to draw the convinced conclusion with unwarranted premise.   

Secondly, if the author can provide the evidence that severe muscle strain will lead secondary infections, the study of two groups of people still has fallacy.
First, the study lack of information about the number, gender, age of the patients and the situation of their injury. It is general thought that the young recovered more quickly than the old; man is quicker than woman. If one group's numbers are old ladies, while the other one are young men, thus the result of 40 percent quicker is fallacious.
Second, for this study, patients should be treated by the same person or the doctors in the same level, specialized in the same part so as to rule out the effect of doctors. However, they are cured by totally different doctors. Since Dr. Newland specializes in sports medicine, he would provide more proper advices to his patients, such as, do some recovered sports and eat helpful food, which will contributes to the 40 percent.  
Last, although the sugar pills was provide to the second group in order to make two groups of people in the same mentality, author still neglect the effect the bright by it.

Over all, it is necessary for doctors to find the way to treat secondary infections after severe muscle strain. But, before they suggestions are made, doctors should make sure the study was precise because there is no life too light.

终于又磨出了一篇．请楼上的狠拍哦！

[ 本帖最后由 general727 于 2008-7-21 15:41 编辑 ]

野猪大改造UID: 2484392

1.第一段最后的seems logical？是不是笔误？
2.Does muscle strain must cause secondary infections? We could find any evidence to answer these questions. must 是不是语法上说不通？ could find 是不是could not find?
3。个人认为是不是要分成四到五段更好？

general727UID: 2494818

第一句是想表达the conclusion seems logical. 句子结构还是有问题。
关于段落的问题，在书上看得，说每段不要太长，把一个意群分成几段比较好。你在看文章时是不是觉得很琐碎啊？