COMEON作文小组------jiwasun 11月9日作业

jiwasunUID: 2425569

Agree or disagree: The best way to truly relax and reduce stress is to spend time alone.(2007.9.25)


Whether or not the best way to truly relax and reduce stress is to spend time alone is an issue which has generated a heated debate. The proponents claim that staying alone would make oneself feel peach and quiet. As fas as I am concerned, contrary to the opinion of the most people, that to spend the time with friends and family is the optimum way to truly relax and relieve the pressure.

The main idea lies on the fact that friendship is both a source of pleasure and a component of good health. As known to all, being pleasure is an extraordinary way to relieve the pressure and enjoy the relaxation. As a result, we would keep in a health condition even though we live in such a world where pressure is accumulated by multiplying. A survey by Health last month which interviewed more than one thousand individuals estimated that nearly eighty-three percent chose to be accompanied by friends when they are in high pressure; moreover, it has been estimated that relaxing with friends as an effective way in reducing the stress from work and school. Meanwhile, approximately ninety-two percent acknowledged that a man without the friends to share their feelings towards life will become an unfortunate victim of the stress resulted from the high-paced society, and would probably suffer from some psychological disorder.

An additional fact is that the another best way to relax and reduce stress is to spend time with family. All the splendour in the world is not worth a good family. It is not hard to imagine that after a day’s hard work, when we come home, how delightful it will be if we find there are already some intimate family members to chat with. Most of the time, we were absolutely busy with our own work or study, leaving little time or even no time to stay with the family. For example, we would not have time to talk about their school life with our children and have limited opportunity to learn more about their performances in the school. What's worse, we would even lose some of their most glorious time, such as receiving a top nationwide reword in certain competition or even their graduation celebration. Therefore, if we spend time with our family, learning their splendid life in these days, we would get relaxed and relief towards the pressure from the work.  

In sum, the optimum method to really relax and reduce stress is to spend time time with friends and family, rather than stay alone. Thereby, the general public should be encouraged to take more time with their friends and family, to discuss and talk about everything in their deep feelings.

Vicky2015UID: 2509133

Whether or not the best way to truly relax and reduce stress is to spend time alone（建议LZ第一句话不要照抄题目）is an issue which has generated a heated debate（has generated a heated debate）. The proponents claim that staying alone would make oneself feel peach(什么意思？？) and quiet. As fas as I am concerned, contrary to the opinion of the most people, that to spend the time with friends and family is the optimum way to truly relax and relieve the pressure. The main idea lies on the fact that friendship is both a source of pleasure and a component of good health. As known to all, being pleasure（being pleased）is an extraordinary way to relieve the pressure and enjoy the relaxation. As a result, we would keep in a health(y) condition even though we live in such a world where pressure is accumulated by multiplying. A survey by Health last month which interviewed more than one thousand individuals estimated that nearly eighty-three percent chose to be accompanied by friends when they are in high pressure; moreover, it has been estimated that relaxing with friends as an effective way in reducing the stress from work and school (缩点吧，这句话太罗嗦了。). Meanwhile, approximately ninety-two percent acknowledged that a man without the（去掉） friends to share their feelings towards life will become an unfortunate victim of the stress resulted from the high-paced society, and would probably suffer from some psychological disorder. An additional fact is that the another (the other/ another)best way to relax and reduce stress is to spend time with family. All the splendour in the world is not worth a good family. It is not hard to imagine that after a day’s hard work, when we come home, how delightful it will be if we find there are already some intimate family members to chat with. Most of the time, we were absolutely busy with our own work or study, leaving little time or even no time to stay with the family. For example, we would not have time to talk about their school life with our children and have limited opportunity to learn more about their performances in the school. What's worse, we would even lose some of their most glorious time, such as receiving a top nationwide reword in certain competition or even their graduation celebration. Therefore, if we spend time with our family, learning their splendid life in these days, we would get relaxed and relief towards the pressure from the work.  （children的那个例子只提到了缺少交流是regretful的，没有讲交流为什么relaxing） In sum, the optimum method to really relax and reduce stress is to spend time time with friends and family, rather than stay alone. Thereby, the general public should be encouraged to take more time with their friends and family, to discuss and talk about everything in their deep feelings.

结构很好，举例具体，语法和词汇使用上没什么问题。
有些句子写的罗嗦了点。有的句子读起来就象 XXX is a person who is wearing a blue coat (举例夸张了点，LZ别生气啊。)语法不错，但明显还可以更简洁。XXX is wearing a blue coat就可以解决的请不要再加长写了。托福喜欢适量的长句子，但长句子的前提是要有足够多的内容可以写。
最后提一点，如果LZ离考试还有段时间的话，建议有意识的去归纳些同义替换的词汇，尽量不要把一个词，比如pressure用太多次。
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以上纯熟个人意见，仅供参考。

jiwasunUID: 2425569

谢谢楼上的意见，有些地方我也很想加强一下，比如同义词的地方，但是时间实在不多了