issue136 严重超时，同志们的砖头看过来！！

skaterUID: 2116878

136."The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare."
I fundamentally agree with the contention that the absence of choice is a rare circumstance in that  common sense accords with this contention. It is true that a philosophical ideology indicate determinism hold the concept that actions and thoughts of human beings had been determined by the karma or gene, but without enough evidence ,I would generally hold the contention of the speaker. However, the choice as a part of the essential rights of individuals, sometimes are deprived from people who live without democracy. Thus, in some given circumstances, the absence of choice is not rare.
  One only need to observe the daily lives of our own confronting choices. An independent individual live life on his or her own decision,  varies from the consideration of a new job opportunity to voting to the candidates who campaign for political leaders. The truly absence of choice is a vacuum of choice impossible to be chosen, however, an individual who is going to confront choosing can be portrayed as a tourist standing at a point during his touring. Whether he chose to climb mountains or to swim across the river , he is unable to get the target unless he chose any access . As to our lives, we cannot base ourselves upon nothing except atmosphere, that  is something like the situation that we can not live a life without any choice.
It true that the recent advances of molecular and genetics lend some credence to a philosophical school identified with determinism that calls for the complete determination of individual’s fate and thought, as a result ,free choice is never exist. But since the idea cannot be substantiated convincingly by science until now, I persist in my point of view that our human beings are not a determined physical existent, but independent individuals who enable themselves to make choices  independently. If it is true that we have no choices according to the determinism, we are consequently no more morally accountable for our actions and choices, even those harm other individuals of society, that leave the world of human beings with no more democracy and humanity. Since the world are mostly democratic and humanity, which permeated among individuals, I believe the free will of making choices are the basic right of every individual .
However, the speaker over estimates the range and extent the rights individuals hold. In some developing countries , everywhere human beings under basic conditions of living suffer from  maintaining their lives more less free choices.  Audrey Hepburn, who pursuit a charitarian of UN, went to Somali, once descript  ,there were no basic establishment such as highways, hospitals or schools, people who struggle against Azrael were deprived of any hope to the democracy nor the free will of making choices. Apart from Somali, depressed areas, where people cannot resist the fates threw on them, will long been existing. Therefore, the absence of choice will long been existing, though not ubiquitous.
In sum, despite the fact that we are uncertain about the determinism, the statement is fundamentally correct since free choice is still a basic right of human beings. However, until the time that poverty extinct, the bereft of democracy and free will long be existing.

skaterUID: 2116878

好像太短了。不过我对issue真的没什么经验。
有拍必回，如果我忘了回谁的，还请麻烦提醒一下，嘻

alcestisUID: 2101945

I fundamentally agree with the contention that the absence of choice is a rare circumstance in that  common sense accords with this contention. It is true that a philosophical ideology indicate determinism hold the concept that actions and thoughts of human beings had been determined by the karma or gene, but without enough evidence ,I would generally hold the contention of the speaker. However, the choice as a part of the essential rights of individuals, sometimes are deprived from people who live without democracy. Thus, in some given circumstances, the absence of choice is not rare.
  One only need to observe the daily lives of our own confronting choices. An independent individual live life on his or her own decision,  varies from the consideration of a new job opportunity to voting to the candidates who campaign for political leaders. The truly absence of choice is a vacuum of choice impossible to be chosen, however, an individual who is going to confront choosing can be portrayed as a tourist standing at a point during his touring. Whether he chose to climb mountains or to swim across the river , he is unable to get the target unless he chose any access . As to our lives, we cannot base ourselves upon nothing except atmosphere, that  is something like the situation that we can not live a life without any choice.不太理解最后一句的逻辑；你这一段给人感觉中心意思是日常生活中我们总是面临选择，但这样讲就有点离题了，应该往中心上扯，比如日常生活经验告诉我们我们作任何事都面临许多选择，所以没选择的情况很少
It true that the recent advances of molecular and genetics lend some credence to a philosophical school identified with determinism that calls for the complete determination of individual’s fate and thought, as a result ,free choice ishas never existed. But since the idea cannot be substantiated convincingly by science until now, I persist in my point of view that our human beings are not a determined physical existent, but independent individuals who enable themselves to make choices  independently. If it is true that we have no choices according to the determinism, we are consequently no more morally accountable for our actions and choices, even those harm other individuals of society, that leave the world of human beings with no more democracy and humanity.无法证明民主和人性不是“前定”阿。应该和史前人类进行纵比，我们和原始人类的基因几乎完全性同，但我们逐步发展出了文化，因此不是“前定” 人可以通过自我意志选择，而不是基因决定的；还可以举双胞胎不同生活轨迹的例子 Since the world are mostly democratic and humanity, which permeated among individuals, I believe the free will of making choices are the basic right of every individual .
However, the speaker over estimates the range and extent the rights individuals hold. In some developing countries , everywhere human beings under basic conditions of living suffer from  maintaining their lives moremuch less free choices.  Audrey Hepburn, who pursuit a charitarian? of UN, went to Somali, once descriptdescribed  ,there were no basic establishment such as highways, hospitals or schools, people who struggle against Azrael were deprived of any hope to the democracy nor the free will of making choices. Apart from Somali, depressed areas, where people cannot resist the fates threw on them, will long been existing. Therefore, the absence of choice will long been existing, though not ubiquitous.
In sum, despite the fact that we are uncertain about the determinism, the statement is fundamentally correct since free choice is still a basic right of human beings. However, until the time that poverty extinct, the bereft of democracy and free will long be existing.

这一篇的思考似乎不如以前的深入哦~~
开头提到的论点的顺序要和body段出现的顺序对应
B1是主要的同意作者观点的部分应该再展开分析
B2比较新颖 但是应该加入例子
看出楼主在练习模版 赞~

有空看我的 哈哈
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=305947

tangjihedeUID: 2107695

136."The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare."
I fundamentally agree with the contention that the absence of choice is a rare circumstance in that  common sense accords with this contention. It is true that a philosophical ideology indicates determinism hold-ing the concept that actions and thoughts of human beings had为什么用过去完成时？ been determined by the karma or gene, but without enough evidence ,space mistakeI would generally hold the contention of the speaker. However, the choice as a part of the essential rights of individuals, sometimes are???????????? deprived from people who live without democracy？？换种表达吧. Thus, in some given circumstances, the absence of choice is not rare. TS结构比较乱，一个but紧接着一个however，看的绕进去了。从观点上说你先说你基本同意，然后又however，thus，我觉得不如用although。。。或类似的让步语气统合成一句。
  One only needneeds to observe the daily lives of our own confronting choices. An independent individual livelives or leads life on his or her own decision,  variesvarying. 这个不是谓语动词 from the consideration of a new job opportunity to voting tofor? the candidates who campaign for political leaders. The truly absence of choice is a vacuum of choice impossible to be chosen, 改成分号however, an individual who is going to confront choosing can be portrayed as a tourist standing at a point during his touring. Whether he chosechooses to climb mountains or to swim across thea river ,space mistake again he is unable to get the target unless he chose any access . As to our lives, we cannot base ourselves upon nothing except atmosphere????????cannot…nothing… except…我不知道美国人会不会晕，我是晕了。, that  is something like the situation that we can notcannot live a life without any choice.
It true that the recent advances of molecular and genetics lend some credence to a philosophical school identified with determinism that calls for the complete determination of individual’s fate and thought, as a result ,free choice is never existis exist???????????. nice expression though  But since the idea cannot be substantiated convincingly by science until now, I persist in my point of view that ourwe human beings are not a determined physical existent, but independent individuals who enable themselves to make choices  independently. If it is true that we have no choices according to the determinismis “the” necessary here?, we are consequently no more morally accountable for our actions and choicesgood point, even those harm这里应该是名词，后面应该加介词 other individuals of society, that leave the world of human beings with no more democracy and humanity. Since the world are ?????mostly democraticadj???而and后面改名词了 and humanitythe world is…humanity??  The world is full of humanity?, whichis? are? permeated among individuals, I believe the free will of making choicesthe free will of a human being who is making choices, not the free will of making choices are?????????????????? the basic rightfree will是权利？？？ of every individual .
However, the speaker over estimates overestimate 是一个词吧？the range and extent ofthe rights individuals hold. In some developing countries , everywhere human beings under basic conditions of living suffer from  maintaining their lives more lessmore less????? free choices.  Audrey Hepburn, who pursuitpursues a charitarian of UN, went to Somali, once descript  ,there were no basic establishment such as highways, hospitals or schools, people who struggle against Azrael were deprived of any hope to the democracy nor the free will 从哲学上来讲“人被剥夺了自由意志”这种说法很有问题。别人可以从外控制你的肉体，但谁能剥夺你的内在的意志？of making choices. Apart from Somali, depressed areas, where people cannot resist the fates threw on them, will long been ?????existing. Therefore, the absence of choice will long been existing??????will long been existing 什么意思？, though not ubiquitous.
In sum, despite the fact that we are uncertain about thedelete the determinism, 在body部分你只提到了一句科学无法证明决定论，而开头和结尾却提到了两句我们对决定论uncertain，论证比较薄弱the statement is fundamentally correct since free choice is still a basic right文中反复提到了right，可是说free will是right挺别扭的，至少你解释一下你说的right是什么意思。Free will在那种意思上right，而不是仅仅说free will 就是right。 of human beings. However, until the time that poverty extinct, the bereftadj?????? of democracy and free willfree will will or freedom will… long be existing原来是will long be existing。。。.


本文的语法错误和上次比少了很多，但是，出于对你水平的预期，这些错误还是很让人ft。我觉得大家的讨论最好放在文章的结构和内容上。语法错误尽量自己解决，别人再来帮助自己发现不了的错误。而过多纠缠在语言上肯定影响别人对你内容的总体把握。我的语法也不怎么样，文章也超时了，或者说根本没按时间写，但每次我自己都会检查很多遍，然后才敢贴到坛子上。你的语法错误比我看过的大多数人要少的多，但老g友了，不留情面了。

我的，如果你发现有5个明显的语法错误，比如人称、单复数，时态等等，我bg你。

tangjihedeUID: 2107695

136."The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare."
I fundamentally agree with the contention that the absence of choice is a rare circumstance in that  common sense accords with this contention. It is true that a philosophical ideology indicates determinism hold-ing the concept that actions and thoughts of human beings had为什么用过去完成时？ been determined by the karma or gene, but without enough evidence ,space mistakeI would generally hold the contention of the speaker. However, the choice as a part of the essential rights of individuals, sometimes are???????????? deprived from people who live without democracy？？换种表达吧. Thus, in some given circumstances, the absence of choice is not rare. TS结构比较乱，一个but紧接着一个however，看的绕进去了。从观点上说你先说你基本同意，然后又however，thus，我觉得不如用although。。。或类似的让步语气统合成一句。
  One only needneeds to observe the daily lives of our own confronting choices. An independent individual livelives or leads life on his or her own decision,  variesvarying. 这个不是谓语动词 from the consideration of a new job opportunity to voting tofor? the candidates who campaign for political leaders. The truly absence of choice is a vacuum of choice impossible to be chosen, 改成分号however, an individual who is going to confront choosing can be portrayed as a tourist standing at a point during his touring. Whether he chosechooses to climb mountains or to swim across thea river ,space mistake again he is unable to get the target unless he chose any access . As to our lives, we cannot base ourselves upon nothing except atmosphere????????cannot…nothing… except…我不知道美国人会不会晕，我是晕了。, that  is something like the situation that we can notcannot live a life without any choice.
It true that the recent advances of molecular and genetics lend some credence to a philosophical school identified with determinism that calls for the complete determination of individual’s fate and thought, as a result ,free choice is never existis exist???????????. nice expression though  But since the idea cannot be substantiated convincingly by science until now, I persist in my point of view that ourwe human beings are not a determined physical existent, but independent individuals who enable themselves to make choices  independently. If it is true that we have no choices according to the determinismis “the” necessary here?, we are consequently no more morally accountable for our actions and choicesgood point, even those harm这里应该是名词，后面应该加介词 other individuals of society, that leave the world of human beings with no more democracy and humanity. Since the world are ?????mostly democraticadj???而and后面改名词了 and humanitythe world is…humanity??  The world is full of humanity?, whichis? are? permeated among individuals, I believe the free will of making choicesthe free will of a human being who is making choices, not the free will of making choices are?????????????????? the basic rightfree will是权利？？？ of every individual .
However, the speaker over estimates overestimate 是一个词吧？the range and extent ofthe rights individuals hold. In some developing countries , everywhere human beings under basic conditions of living suffer from  maintaining their lives more lessmore less????? free choices.  Audrey Hepburn, who pursuitpursues a charitarian of UN, went to Somali, once descript  ,there were no basic establishment such as highways, hospitals or schools, people who struggle against Azrael were deprived of any hope to the democracy nor the free will 从哲学上来讲“人被剥夺了自由意志”这种说法很有问题。别人可以从外控制你的肉体，但谁能剥夺你的内在的意志？of making choices. Apart from Somali, depressed areas, where people cannot resist the fates threw on them, will long been ?????existing. Therefore, the absence of choice will long been existing??????will long been existing 什么意思？, though not ubiquitous.
In sum, despite the fact that we are uncertain about thedelete the determinism, 在body部分你只提到了一句科学无法证明决定论，而开头和结尾却提到了两句我们对决定论uncertain，论证比较薄弱the statement is fundamentally correct since free choice is still a basic right文中反复提到了right，可是说free will是right挺别扭的，至少你解释一下你说的right是什么意思。Free will在那种意思上right，而不是仅仅说free will 就是right。 of human beings. However, until the time that poverty extinct, the bereftadj?????? of democracy and free willfree will will or freedom will… long be existing原来是will long be existing。。。.


本文的语法错误和上次比少了很多，但是，出于对你水平的预期，这些错误还是很让人ft。我觉得大家的讨论最好放在文章的结构和内容上。语法错误尽量自己解决，别人再来帮助自己发现不了的错误。而过多纠缠在语言上肯定影响别人对你内容的总体把握。我的语法也不怎么样，文章也超时了，或者说根本没按时间写，但每次我自己都会检查很多遍，然后才敢贴到坛子上。你的语法错误比我看过的大多数人要少的多，但老g友了，不留情面了。

我的，如果你发现有5个明显的语法错误，比如人称、单复数，时态等等，我bg你。

tangjihedeUID: 2107695

链接忘了留下了：
http://bbs.gter.edu.cn/bbs/viewt ... ge=1&highlight=

tz0412UID: 180794

136."The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare."
I fundamentally agree with the contention that the absence of choice is a rare circumstance in that  common sense accords with this contention. It is true that a philosophical ideology indicate determinism hold the concept that actions and thoughts of human beings had been determined by the karma or gene, (似乎it is true that...hoever/yet是个比较固定的搭配了。而且如果实在要用but来写，也应该是另起一句话来说了）but without enough evidence ,I would generally hold the contention of the speaker. However,（如果前面按我说的改成了however,那这里就可以用Admittedly了：）) the choice as a part of the essential rights of individuals, sometimes are deprived from people who live without democracy. Thus, in some given circumstances, the absence of choice is not rare.
  One only need to observe the daily lives of our own confronting choices. An independent individual live life on his or her own decision,  varies from the consideration of a new job opportunity to voting to the candidates who campaign for political leaders. The truly absence of choice is a vacuum of choice impossible to be chosen, however, an individual who is going to confront choosing can be portrayed as a tourist standing at a point during his touring. Whether he chose to climb mountains or to swim across the river , he is unable to get the target unless he chose any access . (你是想说“不管他选择那条道路，它必须要做出选择才能到达目的地吗“？我感觉这个句子写得不是很好）As to our lives, we cannot base ourselves upon nothing except atmosphere, that  is something like the situation that we can not live a life without any choice. （看不太懂）
It（is) true that the recent advances of molecular and genetics lend some credence to a philosophical school identified with determinism that calls for the complete determination of individual’s fate and thought, as a result ,free choice is never exist. But since the idea cannot be substantiated convincingly by science until now, I persist in my point of view that our human beings are not a determined physical existent, but independent individuals who enable themselves to make choices  independently. If it is true that we have no choices according to the determinism, we are consequently no more morally accountable for our actions and choices, even those harm other individuals of society, that leave the world of human beings with no more democracy and humanity. Since the world are mostly democratic and humanity（humanity用的不对）, which permeated among individuals, I believe the free will of making choices are the basic right of every individual .
However, the speaker over estimates the range and extent the rights individuals hold. In some developing countries , everywhere human beings under basic conditions of living （最低生活标准？basic living standard?)suffer from  maintaining their lives more less (much less?)free choices.  Audrey Hepburn, who pursuit a charitarian of UN, went to Somali, once descript  ,there were no basic establishment such as highways, hospitals or schools, people who struggle against Azrael were deprived of any hope to the democracy nor the free will of making choices. Apart from Somali, depressed areas, where people cannot resist the fates threw on them, will long been (wii been？？）xisting. Therefore, the absence of choice will long been existing, though not ubiquitous.
In sum, despite the fact that we are uncertain about the determinism, the statement is fundamentally correct since free choice is still a basic right of human beings. However, until the time that poverty extinct, the bereft of democracy and free will long be existing.  我觉得结尾的话最后点题应该要点absence of choice is rare，而并不是democracy and free will，这可是argu里面的转换概念阿。

按楼上的说法，没有对语法做出修改，连标记都没做。分析了其中一些内容的表述和句法。
从全文来看，论证的逻辑顺序比较清楚：先说大部分时后都可以做出选择（虽然这一段我看的是比较迷糊），再说决定论，最后再让步，说有时候是没选择。 可是结尾总结的不是太够吧。