Issue141 G-89互助社 8月12日作业 一致性和个人努力，限时基本成功，差一句话

iamfeatherUID: 202850

Issue141：Most people recognize the benefits of individuality, but the fact is that personal economic success requires conformity.

The speaker asserts that personal economic success requires conformity rather than the benefits of individuality. I tend to agree with the speaker's board assertion that conformity plays a vital role in economic success, while under some circumstances, individuality is also essential part.

In the first place, I agree with the speaker because in modern times, one can not solve all the problems during the way leading to success. After all, the energy and ability are limited to one person, and in modern times, events become more and more complex and difficult. To see this point clearly, one need to look no further than the administer of the company named Haier in China, which product electrical machines, such as television, air-condition and so forth. To effectively administer the company, so many events should be taken care of, from the material, to the employee, and then the sales. In fact, one can not cover these events by him own, for the limit of his energy and ability. Those who are good at encouraging the employee may not have the ability to sale the products. We can see this company set an directorate, which made up of several elites in every aspects. Consequently, the way lead to economic success is full of complexity, and individual can not solve all the problems in this way.

In the second place, I strongly agree with the speaker as conformity is significant in encouraging the members of an economic organization. The success of the several people is not equal  with simply add all the efforts of its members, but many times than this. Compare this situation with one thread can be easily broken by a child, however, several thread together can not be broken even by a man full of  energy. To see this point clearly, let us look one of the most successful enconomic company--Microsoft. When Bill Gates start the company, he cooperate with several classmates, and employ more and more elites later. Windows--the most epidemical system of computer, can not be made by one or two elites, but cooperation of a group, whose members encourage and help each other to accomplish it. In short, one can be easily debate by difficulties, nevertheless, together can excel the efforts of all the members.

However, the speaker places too much value on conformity, while ignoring the individual creativity. After all, if all the members obey the conformity rather than creativity of their own, a company can hardly development. Also take Microsoft for example. If Bill Gates did not dropped out from Harvard and then start this company, or if every member has not the creativity in making a new software, we can not see today of Microsoft. Success is due to every member has the same purpose--conformity, and make effort on individual. In other words, a success company calls for both conformity and individual.

To sum up, due to the reasons mentioned above, we can easily draw the conclusion that conformity plays a vital role in economic success. Nevertheless, the speaker ignore the significant function of individual. Together with all these two parts, one economic can result in success.

zrreignUID: 179980

我来改吧

zrreignUID: 179980

Issue141 G-89互助社 8月12日作业 一致性和个人努力，限时基本成功，差一句话

Issue141：Most people recognize the benefits of individuality, but the fact is that personal economic success requires conformity.

The speaker asserts that personal economic success requires conformity rather than the benefits of individuality. I tend to agree with the speaker's board assertion that conformity plays a vital role in economic success, while under some circumstances, individuality is also essential part. 开头很清楚，不错

In the first place, I agree with the speaker because in modern times, one can not solve all the problems during the way leading to success. After all, the energy and ability are limited to one person, and in modern times, events become more and more complex and difficult. To see this point clearly, one need to look no further than the administer of the company named Haier in China太过了一点, which product electrical machines, such as television, air-condition and so forth. To effectively administer the company, so many events should be taken care of, from the material, to the employee, and then the sales. In fact, one can not cover these events by him own, for the limit of his energy and ability. Those who are good at encouraging the employee may not have the ability to sale the products. We can see this company set an directorate, which made up of several elites in every aspects. Consequently, the way lead to economic success is full of complexity, and individual can not solve all the problems in this way. 惨了，我发现我审题跟你不一样，不作评论，等我去问一问再说。

In the second place, I strongly agree with the speaker as conformity is significant in encouraging the members of an economic organization. The success of the several people is not equal  with simply add不对 all the efforts of its members, but many times than this. Compare不对 this situation with one thread can be easily broken by a child, however, several thread together can not be broken even by a man full of  energy. To see this point clearly, let us look one of the most successful enconomic company--Microsoft. When Bill Gates start the company, he cooperate with several classmates, and employ more and more elites later. Windows--the most epidemical system of computer, can not be made by one or two elites, but cooperation of a group, whose members encourage and help each other to accomplish it. In short, one can be easily debate by difficulties, nevertheless, together can excel the efforts of all the members. 请问一下，这段不是和上一段观点一样吗？

However, the speaker places too much value on conformity, while ignoring the individual creativity. After all, if all the members obey the conformity rather than creativity of their own, a company can hardly development. Also take Microsoft for example. If Bill Gates did not dropped out from Harvard and then start this company, or if every member has not the creativity in making a new software, we can not see today of Microsoft. Success is due to every member has the same purpose--conformity, and make effort on individual. In other words, a success company calls for both conformity and individual. 我不太明白你的意思，这个例子没有说到你想说的观点上

To sum up, due to the reasons mentioned above, we can easily draw the conclusion that conformity plays a vital role in economic success. Nevertheless, the speaker ignore the significant function of individual. Together with all these two parts, one economic can result in success.  


不好意思，我要去问问这个题的意思先。不过单就你得语言来说是可以的，但是观点太单一了，说理好像不充分。很多人是没有分析例子，但你是说了太多例子，反而分析说理的部分弱了！

zrreignUID: 179980

在群上讨论了一下，觉得应该是说说就是他的行为要符合公众的利益这个方面来说

iamfeatherUID: 202850

谢谢你的修改，
我再好好考虑一下这个题目给你回复