issue185 决战8.30拍砖组 8.15出品 必回拍！！

orange83UID: 2127694

185"Scandals—whether in politics, academia, or other areas—can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could."

The speaker points out that the scandals are useful in that they can arouse/ provoke/ stir up people's attention/ awareness/ concentration to some problems in ways no one can do. To some extent the speaker overstates scandals’ comparative importance. On balance, however, I tend to agree with this statement.

Turning first to the sphere of politics, suppose a mayor in a certain city, enjoying a good reputation, is accused by corruption overnight which large sums of money are included. All the citizens, no matter young or old, rich or poor, will promptly/ swiftly fix their eyes on this scandal. Since they cannot accept the fact that the one they admired so much is such a misceant. (miscreant/ wretch/ criminal/ malefactor) As a result, the problem of corruption draws people's attention, and their overseeing to the governors become more serious than any time; and the government have to punish the criminal/ culprit while at the same time admend (amend) some laws concerning about the corruption so that it can gain back the trust of the citizens. What is more, the government also has to educate all the officers for sake of avoiding the same scandal happen again. Were it not for the scandal, we could imagine, the corruption would still be a common thing among the officers and people would pay no more attention to it than other things. That is the function of scandal.

Turning second to the realm of acdamia, (acdemia) take China as an example. Plagiarism in the Chinese acdamia (acdemia) has overspread/ pervaded/ spread through/ suffused the whole field for a long time, which all the scholars consider it to be a daily thing, and the Chinese people seldom focus on such kind of thing. However, the disclosing of a well-known professor who had ever plagiarise (plagiarize) other people's works has arouse a heat disputation among China. The acdamia (acdemic) area soon discloses/ uncovers/ reveals other scandles (scandals) like this and all the scholars are suddenly become discretion when writing their papers. The scandal of plagiarism swept China, and the Chinese people are more aware about the acdamia (acdemic) domain than ever before------- they want to see how would the acdamia (acdemia) deal with the scandal. Therefore, the latter one is forced to apoligize (apologize) in the public and makes an assurance that they will be more alert about the moral of the scholars. Surely, it would be another picture if the awareness of plagiarism is rendered by some speakers or reformers. This is another persuading example illustrating that the scandals are greatly useful.

However, while we admit the function of the scandals, we cannot oversate (overstate/ overemphasize) it. For too many scandals will jepordize (jeopardize/ endanger/ risk/ put...at risk) the stability of a society, particularly the scandals about the governor, the more scandals of him/her, the little prestige/ authority he/she possesses which will give rise to the turmoil/ upheaval/ disturbance of the society. Even worse, some scandals are too exaggerated to reveal the true fact, leading people astray. As a result, we should think twice before believing and transmitting a scandal, what is more, once a scandal is disclosing, we should treat it rationally.

To sum up, I agree with the statement presented above that scandals are functional to call people’s attention to the problems that we otherwise will neglect. Yet, we should keep an eye on their disadvantages as well preventing them from overrunning/ overflowing/ flowage.

各位修改完，请贴上你作文的链接，让我回拍:victory::handshake

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-8-16 at 10:53 ]

wineyreUID: 2106739

强的，我晚点帮你拍

wineyreUID: 2106739

The speaker points out that the scandals are useful in that they can arouse/ provoke/ stir up people's attention/ awareness/ concentration to some problems in ways no one can do. To some extent the speaker overstates scandals’ comparative importance. On balance, however, I tend to agree with this statement.To some extent那句可以不要,下面论证里加进去就可以了.

Turning first to the sphere of politics, suppose a mayor in a certain city, enjoying a good reputation, is accused by corruption overnight which large sums of money are included.感觉很奇怪,好像是which那个从句有点多余.长句子有必要,故意加长就没什么必要了,可以用短语的不用从句. All the citizens, no matter young or old, rich or poor, will promptly/ swiftly fix their eyes on this scandal. Since they cannot accept the fact that the one they admired so much is such a misceant. (miscreant/ wretch/ criminal/ malefactor) As a result, the problem of corruption draws people's attention, and their overseeing to the governors become more serious than any time; and the government have to punish the criminal/ culprit while at the same time admend (amend) some laws concerning about the corruption so that it can gain back the trust of the citizens. What is more, the government also has to educate all the officers for sake of avoiding the same scandal happen again. Were it not for the scandal, we could imagine, the corruption would still be a common thing among the officers and people would pay no more attention to it than other things. That is the function of scandal.

Turning second to the realm of acdamia, (acdemia) take China as an example. Plagiarism in the Chinese acdamia (acdemia) has overspread/ pervaded/ spread through/ suffused the whole field for a long time, which all the scholars consider it to be a daily thing, and the Chinese people seldom focus on such kind of thing. However, the disclosing of a well-known professor who had ever plagiarise (plagiarize) other people's works has arouse a heat disputation among China. The acdamia (acdemic) area soon discloses/ uncovers/ reveals other scandles (scandals) like this and all the scholars are suddenly become discretion when writing their papers. The scandal of plagiarism swept China, and the Chinese people are more aware about the acdamia (acdemic) domain than ever before------- they want to see how would the acdamia (acdemia) deal with the scandal. Therefore, the latter one is forced to apoligize (apologize) in the public and makes an assurance that they will be more alert about the moral of the scholars. Surely, it would be another picture if the awareness of plagiarism is rendered by some speakers or reformers. This is another persuading example illustrating that the scandals are greatly useful.

However, while we admit the function of the scandals, we cannot oversate (overstate/ overemphasize) it. For too many scandals will jepordize (jeopardize/ endanger/ risk/ put...at risk) the stability of a society, particularly the scandals about the governor, the more scandals of him/her, the little prestige/ authority he/she possesses which will give rise to the turmoil/ upheaval/ disturbance of the society. Even worse, some scandals are too exaggerated to reveal the true fact, leading people astray. As a result, we should think twice before believing and transmitting a scandal, what is more, once a scandal is disclosing, we should treat it rationally.

To sum up, I agree with the statement presented above that scandals are functional to call people’s attention to the problems that we otherwise will neglect. Yet, we should keep an eye on their disadvantages as well preventing them from overrunning/ overflowing/ flowage.

基本语法错误你自己都改了,论证也不错.
虽然用了不少GRE单词,注意了变化,感觉上句子结构和单词不是很配套.说实话,很难下手改.
另外however用在B3,代表你对于题目的态度有很大转变.慎用在某一段的开头.改用语气比较轻的让步比较好.

[ Last edited by wineyre on 2005-8-16 at 22:34 ]

frankskyUID: 187253

The speaker points out that the scandals are useful in that they can arouse/ provoke/ stir up people's attention/ awareness/ concentration to some problems in ways no one can do. To some extent the speaker overstates scandals’ comparative importance. On balance, however, I tend to agree with this statement.

Turning first to the sphere of politics, suppose a mayor in a certain city, enjoying a good reputation, is accused by corruption overnight which large sums of money are included. （句子的前后主语不一致吧)，that All the citizens, no matter young or old, rich or poor, will promptly/ swiftly fix their eyes on this scandal. Since they cannot accept the fact that the one they admired so much is such a misceant. (miscreant/ wretch/ criminal/ malefactor) As a result, the problem of corruption draws people's attention, and their overseeing to the governors become more serious than any time; and the government have to punish the criminal/ culprit while at the same time admend (amend) some laws法律难道以前没有设立吗,这个地方可以省去 concerning about the corruption so that it can gain back the trust of the citizens. What is more, the government also has to educate all the officers for sake of avoiding the same scandal corruption更好一些吧，或者criminalhappen again. Were it not for the scandal, we could imagine, the corruption would still be a common thing among the officers and people would pay no more attention to it than other things. That is the function of scandal.

Turning second to the realm of acdamia, (acdemia) take China as an example. Plagiarism in the Chinese acdamia (acdemia) has overspread/ pervaded/ spread through/ suffused the whole field for a long time, which all the scholars consider it to be a daily thing, and the Chinese people seldom focus on such kind of thing. However, the disclosing of a well-known professor who had ever plagiarise (plagiarize) other people's works has arouse a heathot? disputation among China. The acdamia (acdemic) area soon discloses/ uncovers/ reveals other scandles (scandals) like this and all the scholars are suddenly become discretion when writing their papers. The scandal of plagiarism swept China, and the Chinese people are more aware about the acdamia (acdemic) domain than ever before------- they want to see how would the acdamia (acdemia) deal with the scandal. Therefore, the latter one is forced to apoligize (apologize) in the public and makes an assurance that they will be more alert about the moral of the scholars.这样做的说服力度比较小,中国目前的学术监督体制不健全,可以从这个角度谈一下 Surely, it would be another picture if the awareness of plagiarism is rendered by some speakers or reformers. This is another persuading example illustrating that the scandals are greatly useful.

However, while we admit the function of the scandals, we cannot oversate (overstate/ overemphasize) it. For too many scandals will jepordize (jeopardize/ endanger/ risk/ put...at risk) the stability of a society, particularly the scandals about the governor, the more scandals of him/her, the little prestige/ authority he/she possesses which will give rise to the turmoil/ upheaval/ disturbance of the society. Even worse, some scandals are too exaggerated to reveal the true fact, leading people astray. As a result, we should think twice before believing and transmitting a scandal, what is more, once a scandal is disclosing, we should treat it rationally.

To sum up, I agree with the statement presented above that scandals are functional to call people’s attention to the problems that we otherwise will neglect. Yet, we should keep an eye on their disadvantages as well preventing them from overrunning/ overflowing/ flowage.

丑闻并非functional,而是它引起人们注意一些原先没有忽略的问题，从而采取措施，改之


https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

wineyreUID: 2106739

我的感觉是句子结构不够复杂,用的词深奥了一点.呵呵,大概是因为从来没见到通篇GRE单词的文章吧,感觉很奇怪的.

lychee_columbiaUID: 198238

呵呵，我也刚写了，互改好了：）

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... type%26typeid%3D101

lychee_columbiaUID: 198238

185"Scandals—whether in politics, academia, or other areas—can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could."

The speaker points out that the scandals are useful in that they can arouse/ provoke/ stir up people's attention/ awareness/ concentration to some problems in ways no one can do. To some extent the speaker overstates scandals’ comparative importance. On balance, however(or else), I tend to agree with this statement.或者这一句可以写为although I tend to agree with this statement,the speaker to some extend overstate the importance of scandals.

Turning first to the sphere of politics, suppose a mayor in a certain city, enjoying a good reputation(who has always been of reputation) , is accused by corruption overnight which large sums of money are included. All the citizens, no matter young or old, rich or poor, will promptly/ swiftly fix their eyes on this scandal for they cannot accept the fact that the one they admired so much is such a misceant. (miscreant/ wretch/ criminal/ malefactor) As a result, the problem of corruption（this dirty transaction,换一下表达会比较好一点的说吧。) draws people's attention, and their overseeing to the governors become more serious than any other time; and(thus) the government have to punish the criminal/ culprit while at the same time admend (amend) some laws concerning about the corruption so that it can gain back the trust of the citizens(public). What is more, the government also has to educate all the officers for sake of avoiding the same scandal happening again. Were it not for the scandal, we could imagine, the corruption would still be a common thing among the officers and people would pay no more attention to it than other things. That is the function of scandal. (我觉得例证挺好的，但是可能总结的时候需要换一个稍微不同的角度，像你最后的一句话，were it not for....than other things. 我觉得说的有一点绝对，事实上如果一个原本备受尊敬的市长的贪污行经曝光，任何人都会觉得震惊的吧？我觉得这个可以从帮助公民行使监督权的这方面加以论证：）你觉得呢？）

Turning second to the realm of acdamia, (acdemia) take China as an example. Plagiarism in the Chinese acdamia (acdemia) has overspread/ pervaded/ spread through/ suffused the whole field for a long time, which all the scholars consider it to be a dailycommon thing, and the Chinese people seldom focus on such kind of things. However, the disclosing of a well-known professor who had ever plagiarise (plagiarize) other people's works has arouse a heat disputation among China. The acdamia (acdemic) area soon discloses/ uncovers/ reveals other scandles (scandals) like this and all the scholars are suddenly become discretion(discreet) when writing their papers. The scandal of plagiarism swept China, and the Chinese people are more aware about the acdamia (acdemic) domain than ever before------- they want to see how would the acdamia (acdemia) deal with the scandal. Therefore, the latter one is forced to apoligize (apologize) in the public and makes an assurance that they will be more alert about the moralmorality of the scholars. Surely, it would be another picture if the awareness of plagiarism is rendered by some speakers or reformers. This is another persuadingconvincing example illustrating that the scandals are greatly useful.

However, while we admit the function of the scandals(while we concede the benefits that the scandal brings us), we cannot oversate (overstate/ overemphasize) it. For too many scandals will jepordize (jeopardize/ endanger/ risk/ put...at risk) the stability of a society, particularly the scandals about the governor, the more scandals of him/her, the little prestige/ authority he/she possesses which will give rise to the turmoil/ upheaval/ disturbance of the society. Even worse, some scandals are too exaggerated to reveal the true fact, leading people astray. As a result, we should think twice before believing and transmitting(spreading) a scandal, what is more, once a scandal is disclosing, we should treat it rationally.

To sum up, I agree with the statement presented above that scandals are functional to call(in calling) people’s attention to the problems that we otherwise will neglect.很好的句子 Yet, we should keep an eye on their disadvantages as well preventing them from overrunning/ overflowing/ flowage.

lychee_columbiaUID: 198238

语言方面略感有一点不那么地道, 可能也和你用词有关.其实不用每一个词都那么深奥,我觉得忽然又那么几个精彩的用法就很讨喜了:0
加油, 结构不错,但论据方面还有很大的空间值得你的推敲.

orange83UID: 2127694

各位误会了。。。其实那些gre单词都是我自己修改的时候加上去的，原始文章根本没太多难的单词。。。因为红宝我都没背完，哪来这么大词汇量，我只是觉得通篇文章都拿几个单词很恶心，多储备几个以便日后替换而已

不过谢谢大家的修改，辛苦了，各位，以后多多支持哦！！:handshake