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[a习作temp] argument170 happy new year!! kito小组 谢谢大家了! [复制链接]

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发表于 2005-12-30 17:57:07 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
170 For the past five years, consumers in California have been willing to
pay twice as much for oysters from the northeastern Atlantic Coast as for
Gulf Coast oysters. This trend began shortly after harmful bacteria were
found in a few raw Gulf Coast oysters. But scientists have now devised a
process for killing the bacteria. Once consumers are made aware of the
increased safety of Gulf Coast oysters, they are likely to be willing to
pay as much for Gulf Coast as for northeastern Atlantic Coast oysters, and
greater profits for Gulf Coast oyster producers will follow.

提纲:1 没有证据充分说明消费者买Atlantic Coast Oyster 是由于Gulf Coast Oyster发现了病毒,可能是由于AC的Oyster更好吃,营养更丰富。
2 没有证据证明Gulf Coast Oyster 的病毒被杀光了,只是安全性提高了,不一定没有危险。
3 就算是GC的Oyster有安全保障了,也没有证据说明它可以卖到原来两倍的价钱。没病毒前卖的是多少,现在也应该是多少;而且kill bacteria的机器会减少利润,更不可能有great profits。

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In this argument the author reaches a conclusion that producers of Gulf Coast oyster will acquire great profits because scientists have already devised a process for killing bacteria which were found in some raw Gulf Coast oysters. Additionally, the author informs us that for the past five years, consumers in California have been willing to pay twice as much for oysters from the northeastern Atlantic Coast as for Gulf Coast oysters. Also the author assumes that people will be inclined to pay as much for Gulf Coast oysters as for northeastern Atlantic oysters for the increased safety of Gulf Coast oysters. From my point of view,  this argument is logically flawed in a number of respects and therefore is unconvincing as it stands.

To begin with, the author fails to provide sufficient evidence to illustrate the causal relationship between people who are inclined to buy Atlantic Coast oyster and the harmful bacteria effect in Gulf Coast oysters. The harmful bacteria effect maybe is one of the reasons of why people are likely to pay twice as much for Atlantic coast oysters. It is entirely possible that the Atlantic Coast oysters contain more nutrient components and people prefer the taste of Atlantic Coast oysters. Absent of taking into account of these possibilities, the author's conclusion is dubious at best.

In addition, the author commits a fallacy that the process scientists created is able to kill all bacteria in Gulf Coast oysters.No evidence is offered to substantiate this point. The author could guarantee the increased safety of Gulf Coast oysters yet he or she does not mean none of danger exists. Therefore the author's assumption is untenable.

Furthermore, even if it is warranted for the safety for the Gulf Coast oysters, no evidence is provided to demonstrate that people will be likely to pay as much  as Atlantic Coast oyster as for Gulf Coast ones. Even if there are no bacteria in raw Gulf Coast oysters, the price of Gulf Coast oysters could not reach as high as Atlantic Coast oysters.So it is ridiculous to conclude that producers of Gulf Coast oysters will get great profits. What is more, the fee for creation of the process can decline the profits earned by producers of Gulf Coast oysters.

To sum up, through close scrutiny of each of facts, however they lend little support the author's conclusion. To make this argument convincing, the author must offer more details to substantiate that harmful bacteria found in raw Gulf Coast oysters lead to consumers tend to buy Atlantic Coast oysters and the process scientists devised is sufficient enough to kill all sorts of bacteria in the raw Gulf Coast oysters. To better strengthen it, the author also must convince us that consumers are more likely to buy Gulf Coast oysters than Atlantic Coast ones as long as there is guarantee to the safety of oysters.
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发表于 2005-12-30 21:07:56 |只看该作者
In this argument the author reaches a conclusion that producers of Gulf Coast oyster will acquire great profits because scientists have already devised a process for killing bacteria which were found in some raw Gulf Coast oysters. Additionally, the author informs us that for the past five years, consumers in California have been willing to pay twice as much for oysters from the northeastern Atlantic Coast as for Gulf Coast oysters. Also the author assumes that people will be inclined to pay as much for Gulf Coast oysters as for northeastern Atlantic oysters for the increased safety of Gulf Coast oysters. From my point of view, this argument is logically flawed in a number of respects [我想应该是aspects吧] and therefore is unconvincing as it stands.

To begin with, the author fails to provide sufficient evidence to illustrate the causal relationship between people who are inclined to buy Atlantic Coast oyster and the harmful bacteria effect in Gulf Coast oysters. The harmful bacteria effect maybe is one of the reasons of why people are likely to pay twice as much for Atlantic coast oysters. It is entirely possible that the Atlantic Coast oysters contain more nutrient components and people prefer the taste of Atlantic Coast oysters. Absent of taking into account of these possibilities, the author's conclusion is dubious at best [at best是“最多”的意思,用在这里我有点不太明白].

In addition, the author commits a fallacy that the process scientists created is able to kill all bacteria in Gulf Coast oysters. No evidence is offered to substantiate this point. The author could guarantee the increased safety of Gulf Coast oysters yet he or she does not mean none of danger exists. Therefore the author's assumption is untenable [好词,学习ing].

Furthermore, even if it is warranted for the safety for the Gulf Coast oysters, no evidence is provided to demonstrate that people will be likely to pay as much as Atlantic Coast oyster as for Gulf Coast ones. Even if there are no bacteria in raw Gulf Coast oysters, the price of Gulf Coast oysters could not [could not? 这里能表达出“可能达不到那么高价钱”的意思吗?] reach as high as Atlantic Coast oysters. So it is ridiculous to conclude that producers of Gulf Coast oysters will get great profits. What is more, the fee for creation of the process can decline the profits earned by producers of Gulf Coast oysters.

To sum up, through close scrutiny [好词,学!] of each of facts, however they lend little support [要加上to吧?] the author's conclusion. To make this argument convincing, the author must offer more details to substantiate that harmful bacteria found in raw Gulf Coast oysters lead to consumers tend to buy Atlantic Coast oysters and the process scientists devised is sufficient enough to kill all sorts of bacteria in the raw Gulf Coast oysters. To better strengthen it, the author also must convince us that consumers are more likely to buy Gulf Coast oysters than Atlantic Coast ones as long as there is guarantee to the safety of oysters.

总体上写得挺好的,只是有一点疑问:关于提纲2,既然病毒都杀光了,那还有危险吗?如果有,最好举个例子什么的。嗯,个人意见,供参考,呵呵
用心就不会错过...

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RE: argument170 happy new year!! kito小组 谢谢大家了! [修改]

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argument170 happy new year!! kito小组 谢谢大家了!
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-386273-1-1.html
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