issue7 终于写出来咯，欢迎拍砖，谢谢大家！（kito小组）

智恩UID：2160717

7. "The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records."
提纲：1 video camera 比起written records来说记录得更客观，因为人为记录很容易加入记录者自己的理解，这样就使记录下的内容缺乏客观性。
2 video camera 不仅是记录文字，还可以记录画面，比如结婚典礼这些，这是written records无法办到的。
3 video camera 还有一个功能就是可以起到监视器的作用，这也是written records无法代替的。
4在思想的记录方面，使用纸笔记录的速度很慢，其平均速度为每分钟20～30字，根本不能与人的口语保持同步，而且劳动强度大，工作效率低。
5 但是written records也有它的优点，video camera 比较贵，不是所有的人都买得起的，而且除了video camera 外还需要额外的设备，但纸和笔却很容易得到。尤其是在一些紧急情况下，纸和笔很容易得到，而人们不可能随身携带video camera。
正文：
The author claims that the video camera provides accurate and credible record of current life and therefore it has become a more vital form of documentation than written records. Admittedly I agree with the author insofar as the video camera has its own advantages in a number of aspects. However written records also have benefits for people to document. From my point of view they are both vital forms of documentation.
Firstly, it is more objective for video camera to record than written records. As we all know, when a person is recording an incidence, he or she could add up his or her own interpretation into recording unconsciously. Thus the documentation lacks objectivity and reliability. Yet if people use video camera to record, it could record and store still or moving images electronically without influence of people’s consciousness. Compared to written recording, video camera is superior in this point.
Secondly, the video camera has another advantage of document vivid and moving images, while written records can not. For instance, the video camera could record the whole wedding ceremony process and could be played back immediately. However written records can write down the whole procedure without any vivid pictures.
Thirdly, the video camera’s function of electronic surveillance can not be replaced by written records. When it comes to some crimes or scandals such as robbery, misconduct of leaders, vendition of heroin and so forth, the video recording could play a significant role in the legal process. The objective witness of video recording is prior to written records.
In addition, one flaw of written records is the written speed. According to some correlated statistics, the average written recording speed is 20—30 words per minute. This speed can not catch up with the words in people’s brain and moreover written recording is a tedious drudgery. Therefore written recording is not sufficiently efficient.
Admittedly, the video camera has several advantages and superior to written recording, yet written recording has its benefits in some circumstances. It is convenient for people to acquire pen and paper which are tools of documentation. On the other hand, video camera is expensive and not all people could afford it, and even it is a sumptuous implement for a family. Even if the video camera has numerous merits in documentation, it is not an affordable equipment for all people and therefore is limited. Besides it is not necessary and convenient for people to carry the video camera everywhere. When it comes to an emergency, the effective way of documentation is to write it down.
In conclusion, it is undeniable to the advantages of video camera in numerous aspects in contemporary society. Yet because of the convenience of written recording, written recording is also important in documentation.

我觉得我写written records的优点写得太少了，但是又没想到别的。

kito9695UID：209685

The author claims that the video camera provides accurate and credible替换conving 学习ing record of current life替换 and therefore it has become a more vital替换 form of documentation than written records. Admittedly I agree with the author insofar as the video camera has its own advantages in a number of aspects. However written records also have benefits for people to document作动词不是记录的意思了. From my point of view they are both vital forms of documentation.开头很好摆明观点，并提示下文的两大部分内容：1是video camera的优点和written records的好处。但是第一句有些像argument，是不是仿照北美范文的模式？不知道这样好不好，大家探讨一下吧

Firstly, it is more objective for video camera to record than written records. As we all knowas we know有些口语化，不知道可不可以改为as is know to us之类, when a person is recording an incidence, he or she could add up his or her own interpretation into recording unconsciously. Thus the documentation lacks objectivity and reliability. Yet感觉有点怪，是要表达however的意思吧，可不可以这样用呢？ if people use video camera to record, it could record and store still or moving images electronically without influence of people’s consciousness. Compared to written recording, video camera is superior in this point.

Secondly, the video camera has another advantage of document vivid and moving images, while written records can not. For instance, the video camera could record the whole wedding ceremony process and could be played back immediately. However written records can write down the whole procedure without any vivid pictures.

Thirdly, the video camera’s function of electronic surveillance can not be replaced by written records. When it comes to some crimes or scandals such as robbery, misconduct of leaders, vendition of heroin and so forth, 例子学习the video recording could play a significant role in the legal process. The objective witness of video recording is prior to written records.
这四小段，个人认为可以合成一个大段来论述

In addition,in addition这个词组让人感觉还要说video camera的优点，但是却转入了written records的缺陷 one flaw of written records is the written speed. According to some correlated statistics, the average written recording speed is 20—30 words per minute. This speed can not catch up with the words in people’s brain and moreover written recording is a tedious drudgery. Therefore written recording is not sufficiently efficient.

Admittedly, the video camera has several advantages and superior to written recording, yetwritten recording has its benefits in some circumstances. It is convenient for people to acquire pen and paper which are tools of documentation. On the other hand这个词组是必须要和on the one hand搭配的吧，另外感觉这段在说written records的优点，video camera的缺点应该是跟在说完一个written records的优点后面再说，这样直接作为一个小层次来说不太好, video camera is expensive and not all people could afford it, and even it is a sumptuous implement for a family. Even if the video camera has numerous merits in documentation, it is not an affordable equipment for all people and therefore is limited. Besides it is not necessary and convenient for people to carry the video camera everywhere. When it comes to an emergency, the effective way of documentation is to write it down.其实written records的优点在这也是说了不少的，只是没能展开来论述，所以内容显得有些少

In conclusion, it is undeniable to the advantages of video camera in numerous aspects in contemporary society. Yet because of the convenience of written recording, written recording is also important in documentation.

第一感觉就是分段太多，并且有些头重脚轻的感觉，前一层次的内容远丰富于后一层次，前三小段可以合并。但词汇很丰富，用了很多同义词替换，值得学习！

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