ISSUE196 Toheart互改组

dinddind2003UID: 196353

TOPIC：ISSUE 196 - "Technology creates more problems than it solves, and may threaten or damage the quality of life."


It is true that people are facing many problems which seem to be caused by technology, however, technology can also solve these problems; moreover, it is people who can decide whether technology will threaten the quality of life.

Admittedly, as technology improved, many problems occur. In some aspects, the efficiency of people's life is decreased. When more and more cars cover the street, traffic jam happens, and usually it takes less time to reach the destination on foot. When internet comes to this world to put more and more information in front of us, it usually takes us even more time to search useful one and get rid of useless one before we start our work.. On the other hand, people's health is in danger. Farmers now use more kinds of fertilizer to make their crops grow faster and more vigorous, but the more people eat these crops, the weaker their health is. Additionally, computers can represent the development of high technology, but the overuse of them always leads to a certain level of short eyesight.


However, these problems which are seemed to be caused by technology can also be solved by it. People are building a lot of cloverleaf（立交桥） junction and subways to avoid traffic jam, researching new methods of improving genes to create more vigorous crops without the help of fertilizer and trying to invent a new kind of glass which can prevent eyes from x-rays from computers. Moreover, if take the benefits technology has created into account, for example, the ability to travel in universe, the convenience to apply machines to do heavy or dangerous work instead of human beings and the possibility to store thousands of books in a hardware, maybe people can reach the conclusion that technology can improve the quality of life rather than damage it.

Furthermore, it is people rather than technology--which is only a tool and can not do any damage or good without the operator—who causes the problems in the modern society. For example, gene project is a tool, with which people can create good organs to cure disease, but it also can cause ethic and moral problems if it is used to clone human; nuclear is a tool, with which people can create a lot of energy, but people can also kill thousands of human beings if they use it in a war. Thus, before people claim that technology threaten their life, they should ask themselves how they have used the technology.

In sum, although people have to deal with many problems because of the irresponsible use of technology, if they use it properly, technology will improve the quality of life.

[ 本帖最后由 dinddind2003 于 2006-1-18 18:35 编辑 ]

yogurt4UID: 198389

这算不算灌水呢:rolleyes:

dinddind2003UID: 196353

版主说我灌水，我赶紧把正文补上了，呵呵，大家来拍啊。看我的论证有没有说服力。

awonderUID: 200778

It is true that people are facing many problems which seem to be caused by technology, however, technology can also solve these problems; moreover, it is people who can decide whether technology will threaten the quality of life.

Admittedly, as technology improved, many problems occur. In some aspects, the efficiency of people's life is decreased. When more and more cars cover the street, traffic jam happens, and usually it takes less time to reach the destination on foot. (这句话感觉逻辑上有点混乱,街上车越来越多和走路花的时间变短之间是什么关系?)When internet comes to this world to put more and more information in front of us, it usually takes us even more time to search useful one and get rid of useless one before we start our work.. On the other hand, people's health is in danger( 这句话感觉不太地道people may suffer because the use of technology) . Farmers now use more(比较级没比较对象) kinds of fertilizer to make their crops grow faster and more vigorous, but the more people eat these crops, the weaker their health is. Additionally, computers can represent the development of high technology, but the overuse of them always leads to a certain level of short eyesight(近视?myopia).


However, these problems which are seemed to be caused by technology can also be solved by it. People are building a lot of cloverleaf（立交桥） junction and subways to avoid traffic jam, researching new methods(new method可以被research?) of improving genes to create more vigorous crops without the help of fertilizer and trying to invent a new kind of glass(new kinds of glasses) which can prevent eyes from x-rays from computers. Moreover, if take the benefits technology has created into account, for example, the ability to travel in universe, the convenience to apply machines to do heavy or dangerous work instead of human beings and the possibility to store thousands of books in a hardware, maybe people can reach the conclusion that technology can improve the quality of life rather than damage it.

Furthermore, it is people rather than technology--which is only a tool and can not do any damage or good without the operator—who causes the problems in the modern society. For example, gene project is a tool, with which people can create good organs to cure disease, but it also can cause ethic and moral problems if it is used to clone human; nuclear is a tool, with which people can create a lot of energy, but people can also kill thousands of human beings if they use it in a war(in war). Thus, before people claim that technology threaten their life, they should ask themselves how they have used the technology.

In sum, although people have to deal with many problems because of the irresponsible use of technology, if they use it properly, technology will improve the quality of life(这句话读起来不怎么通顺).

感觉用语还有些中文化,注意用语的逻辑性。水平有限，就能说这么多了，加油！.

[ 本帖最后由 awonder 于 2006-1-18 22:07 编辑 ]

dinddind2003UID: 196353

It is true that people are facing many problems which seem to be caused by technology, however, technology can also solve these problems; moreover, it is people who can decide whether technology will threaten the quality of life.

Admittedly, as technology improved, many problems occur. In some aspects, the efficiency of people's life is decreased. When more and more cars cover the street, traffic jam happens, and usually （so that ） it takes less time to reach the destination on foot. (这句话感觉逻辑上有点混乱,街上车越来越多和走路花的时间变短之间是什么关系?) （换成so that 表明是和traffic jam的因果关系，不知道行不行）When internet comes to this world to put more and more information in front of us, it usually takes us even more time to search useful one and get rid of useless one before we start our work.. On the other hand, people's health is in danger( 这句话感觉不太地道people may suffer because the use of technology) （Pollution is a danger to public health 可见danger 修饰health是可以的） . Farmers now use more(比较级没比较对象) （more and more 这样不要对象了吧） kinds of fertilizer to make their crops grow faster and more vigorous, but the more people eat these crops, the weaker their health is. Additionally, computers can represent the development of high technology, but the overuse of them always leads to a certain level of short eyesight(近视?myopia （查过，short eyesight也是近视，不过你的提议更简洁）).


However, these problems which are seemed to be caused by technology can also be solved by it. People are building a lot of cloverleaf（立交桥） junction and subways to avoid traffic jam, researching  new methods(new method可以被research?) （我查到例句study new ways表示研究新方法，所以改成studying new ways） of improving genes to create more vigorous crops without the help of fertilizer and trying to invent new kinds of glasses which can prevent eyes from x-rays from computers. Moreover, if take the benefits technology has created into account, for example, the ability to travel in universe, the convenience to apply machines to do heavy or dangerous work instead of human beings and the possibility to store thousands of books in a hardware, maybe people can reach the conclusion that technology can improve the quality of life rather than damage it.

Furthermore, it is people rather than technology--which is only a tool and can not do any damage or good without the operator—who causes the problems in the modern society. For example, gene project is a tool, with which people can create good organs to cure disease, but it also can cause ethic and moral problems if it is used to clone human; nuclear is a tool, with which people can create a lot of energy, but people can also kill thousands of human beings if they use it in war. Thus, before people claim that technology threaten their life, they should ask themselves how they have used the technology.

In sum, nowadays people do have to deal with many problems because of the irresponsible applying of technology, however, technology will improve the quality of life if it is used properly(这句话读起来不怎么通顺) （改了一下，好些了吗？）.

谢谢你的意见。

不过我还希望请指出哪些话汉语化，我都会注意的，还有除了改表达以外，一个最重要的原则就是文章有没有说服力，所以可以指出哪里没有说服力，没有说明文章的主题啦，哪一段论证不够啦，那句话没有被说明啦等等，总之罗嗦了那么多就是这个意思，呵呵