issue147 ToHeart小组fathipppohuhu(7楼)第三次作业

fathippohuhuUID: 2171795

ISSUE147 Toheart互改组

TOPIC：147. "Tradition and modernization are incompatible. One must choose between them."

600字

Tradition and modernization, representing old and new, are two dynamically opposite concepts. With the process of modernization, new things continue to emerge, and the former fresh ideas gradually turn to a part of tradition. I think discussing how to evaluate their relationship and what attitude we should have would be an interesting issue.

When talking about modernization, it is natural for us to think of three features: high efficiency, cooperation and execution in large scale, and the use of new technology. Comparing tradition with the three points, we should admit that many traditional things are not adapted with the modern world. The architecture is a good example. Traditional buildings are with beautiful decorations and the value of culture, but they are much worse than high buildings to meet the need of modern live because it is a waste of space and efficiency. The argument of whether the ancient buildings should be remained happened in almost every city with long history in the process of modernization. In this case, we can see that for those traditional items that obviously go against the rules of modernization, the old and new things are so incompatible that we must make a choice between them.

However, considering modern world orients from the tradition, there must be some sharing parts between them. I do not have comprehensive realization with the connection of them, but at least I could analyze it from two angles: culture and valuable experiences. In my opinion, culture is a mixed field between tradition and modernization, including the customs and moral from ancestors and new things adding in during development. It is hard and not necessary to separate the two parts in culture because this is a certain result with modernization. The other connection between old and new world is experiences. Same with us, people of old generations kept exploring the world. No matter they succeeded or failed, they passed down their experiences through record, which is very valuable even for modernization because it provided us useful explanations of phenomena we still do not fully understand and data tested for years. I would like to take Chinese herb treatment as an example. Although the mechanism of the functions of herb soup is open to doubt, the prescriptions have proofed useful in the past thousands of years and already been applied by some pharmacologists in designing new medicine.

Finally, I would like to discuss our attitude of the two conflicting fields. I think it would probably be beneficial to consider tradition and modernization as two areas influencing each other but not completely incompatible. For instance, the combination of classical and modern music is a perfect trial of making good use of the connection between them. The performance of Volust VM in America is appreciated with many people. And the new style of music with the name Chink-out combing components of Peking Opera and Hip-pop is very popular in China. All the success above indicated that digging into the connection between tradition and modernization would possibly lead to valuable creation.

In my opinion, the relationship of tradition and modernization is like bank and river. Sometimes the flood would destroy the bank, but in more situations, they are having dynamic interactions: the bank changes the direction of the river and the river reshapes the bank. We admit that in some conditions tradition and modernization are incompatible. But we should pay more attention to the connection between them considering the modern world comes from the old one and we could learn many things from appropriately dealing with their relationship.

awonderUID: 200778

Tradition and modernization, representing old and new, are two dynamically opposite concepts. With the process of modernization, new things continue to emerge, and the former fresh ideas gradually turn to a part of tradition. I think discussing how to evaluate their relationship and what attitude we should have would be an interesting issue. （开头好像看不出你的确切观点，支持？反对？不知道开头不写明观点是不是合适？）

When talking about modernization, it is natural for us to think of three features: high efficiency, cooperation and execution in large scale, and the use of new technologies. Comparing tradition with the three points, we should admit that many traditional things are not adapted with the modern world. The architecture is a good example. Traditional buildings are with beautiful decorations and (the) value of culture, but they are much worse than high buildings to meet the need of modern live(life) because it(it指代什么？如果指代buildings那单复数不符) is a waste of space and efficiency.(Most of traditional buildings is with beautiful decorations and value of culture, but, it is a waste of space and inefficient to meet the needs of modern life, comparing to modern high building.这句这样改不知好一点不？)  The argument of whether the ancient buildings should be remained happened in almost every city with long history in the process of modernization.In this case, we can see that for those traditional items that obviously go against the rules of modernization,（逗号前的从句只有一个for引导的状语结构，如果是在从句中作状语能用逗号在that和主体部分之间隔开吗？这个我也不是很清楚：）） the old and new things are so incompatible that we must make a choice between them. 本段从现代的特征出发说明传统与现代不能相容的一面。就本段建筑的例子来说，大部分文章使用建筑的例子都从既能保留传统风格又能满足现在需求者方面说明传统和现代的相容性，对原观点进行否定，本文说传统建筑浪费空间和效率，但现代建筑在增加空间使用率和效率的同时也能融入传统装饰等古朴风格，况且现存的经典传统建筑依然得到很好的保护，并且成为一种遗产与现代建筑并存。文章只说传统建筑的保留在很多城市引发争论，既然是争论能对不相容性进行支持吗？感觉最好不要用有争议性的例子。所以对于使用建筑者各例子来支持原观点，不知道合适不合适？

However, considering modern world orients from the tradition,（现代世界起源于传统？） there must be some sharing parts between them. I do not have comprehensive realization with the connection of them,（这句话是不是不说为好？直接说你从两方面来分析就行了） but at least I could analyze it from two angles: culture and valuable experiences. In my opinion, culture is a mixed field between tradition and modernization, including the customs and moral（moralities） from ancestors and new things adding in during development. It is hard and not necessary to separate the two parts in culture because this(it) is a certain result with(of) modernization. The other(Another) connection between old and new world is experiences. Same with us(感觉不地道), people of old generations kept exploring the world. No matter they succeeded or failed, they passed down（词典上找不到这个词组） their experiences through records, which is very valuable even for modernization because it provided us useful explanations of phenomena we still do not fully understand and data tested for years.（这个句子中的过去时态感觉用得不恰当，经验的传授是一种一般现象，而不只是发生在过去） I would like to take Chinese herb treatment as an example. Although the mechanism of the functions of herb soup is open to doubt, the prescriptions have proofed useful in the past thousands of years and （and前后句子主语不一致）already been applied by some pharmacologists in designing new medicine. 本段从文化和经验两个角度说明传统和现代的相容性，对原文观点进行反驳
Finally, I would like to discuss our attitudes of the two conflicting fields. I think it would probably be beneficial to consider tradition and modernization as two areas influencing each other but not completely incompatible.(这句话有点问题，最后”not completely incompatible不完全不相容”不就是说明他们是可以相容的和前面influencing each other含义一致， but转折关系就不成立了) For instance, the combination of classical and modern music is a perfect trial of making good use of the connection between them. The performance of Volust VM in America is appreciated with(by?) many people. And the new style of music with the name Chink-out combing components of Peking Opera and Hip-pop is very popular in China. All the successes above indicated(indicate) that digging into the connection between tradition and modernization would possibly lead to valuable creations. 本段首句说讨论大家的态度，但主体只是阐明了自己的态度，首句用得不太恰当。本段中的所用的例子是说古典和现代音乐的完美结合，实际上是对原文观点的一种反驳，是对第三段相容性的延续，似乎并不是在支持作者” influencing each other but not completely incompatible”的观点。
In my opinion, the relationship of tradition and modernization is like bank and river. Sometimes the flood would destroy the bank, but in more situations, they are having dynamic interactions: the bank changes the direction of the river and the river reshapes the bank. We(We?这是大部分人的观点吗？) admit that in some conditions tradition and modernization are incompatible. But we should pay more attention to the connection between them considering the modern world comes from the old（past） one and we could learn many things(a lot) from appropriately(appropriate) dealing with their relationship.本段阐明作者有保留的反对的观点

本文作者的观点是有保留的反对，也就是对于原文观点有更多的理由反对，但承认有时也有合理之处。对于这种观点应该怎么安排文章的结构建议加深考虑。总之除了最后一段从前面的段落似乎看不出作者的观点，全文论证结构应该围绕中心观点展开。
以上是对本文的一些建议，水平有限，如有不当之处还忘多多交流。

我在开始写这个题目的时候思路也很不清晰，关键是对于传统和现代这两个抽象概念的理解浅陋，对于如何从实践中去发现两者的关系以及就此展开论述感觉很难下手。Issue题目中有不少这类对抽象概念进行论述的题目，感觉有针对性地去搜集和深入理解与这些抽象概念相关的例子很有必要。再就是对于原文论点缺乏深入了解的情况下如何下笔表述自己的观点如何组织文章的结构很值得探讨。