argument200 jingjing（kito）

jingjingtousUID：2164820

TOPIC：ARGUMENT 200 - Statistics collected from dentists indicate that three times more men than women faint while visiting the dentist. This evidence suggests that men are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done than women are. Thus, dentists who advertise to attract patients should target the male consumer and emphasize both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients.

提纲：
1 作者引用的数据太模糊不能支持他的结论,应该比较昏厥率，且即使男人昏厥比女人多不代表他们在治疗后感到更痛楚，可能他们是在治疗时晕的
2 即使男性容易faint不代表男性customer多，且target the male patients可能会引起女性的不满从而失去女性顾客。
3 只强调麻醉技术和工作人员的敏感度未必吸引顾客（他因：诊所的卫生，消毒过程，牙齿的修复技术，服务，价格等）

Prior to considering the author's recommendation that dentists should target the male consume and emphasize both their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff, I find that all the evidence the author quoted cannot lend credible support to his conclusion after a close scrutiny.

To begin with, the author unfairly assumes that men are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done than women are because of the fact that three times more men than women faint while visiting the dentist. However, the statistical evidence is too vague to be informative. We are not informed the total amount of men and that of women who visited dentist. Thus, it is entirely possible that the proportion of men who faint in the clinics is lower than that of women due to the large basic number of men who see the dentist compared to that of women. Moreover, even assuming that there are more men faint while visiting the dentist, it does not necessarily indicate that men are likely to be frightened about having dental work done than women are. It is highly possible that most of men faint during their teeth treatment rather than after it. For that matter, perhaps they feel more relaxed or comfortable when the dental work is done. Therefore, the author's conclusion which based on the statistics is apparently unconvincing.

In addition, the suggestion that relies on the foregoing assumption seems to be groundless. First, the author has failed to inform us the number of male patients who visit the dentist is far larger than that of female patients. It is entirely possible that females who have tooth problems are more than the male patients. Thus, there is a possibility that if dentists have focused they most attentions on male customs, the female patients would be unsatisfied with their works-perhaps they will lost their major customers.

Last but not the least, by claiming that the effectiveness of their anesthetic technology and the sensitivity of their staff are the most important elements for dentists to attract more customers, the author overlooks some other factors that would also contribute to their dental work. Perhaps the patients are more concerning about the clearness and immune process of the dental curing. And also the restoring technology of the dentist is one of the most crucial elements for attracting customers. Furthermore, the high charge or the poor service of the teeth treatment is also prohibitive for some customers to come to the dentists. Maybe their are more willing to take the kinds of painkillers other than spending a lot of money on such an ineffective treatment.

Overall, the reason behind the author's conclusion seems logical since there are three time men faint than women when visiting the dentists. However, before jumping to the conclusion, we should evaluate all the factors than would affect the quality of the dental work.

写得很少考虑得也不是很全面，简直是谋杀你得眼睛^_^

@amy@UID：209096

占~~~  ^_^

jingjingtousUID：2164820

做好被amy的枪林弹雨打的到处乱跑的准备！！！

@amy@UID：209096

Prior to considering the author's recommendation that dentists should target the male consume and emphasize both their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff, I find that all the evidence the author quoted cannot lend credible support to his conclusion after a close scrutiny.

To begin with, the author unfairly assumes that men are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done than women are because of the fact [fact用在这里似乎有点不准确，因为这个不一定是fact啊？换成statistics好点吧，呵呵] that three times more men than women faint while visiting the dentist. However, the statistical evidence is too vague to be informative. We are not informed the total amount of men and that of women who visited dentist. Thus, it is entirely possible that the proportion of men who faint in the clinics is lower than that of women due to the large basic number of men who see the dentist compared to that of women. [嗯，这点不错，我都没想到] Moreover, even assuming that there are more men faint while visiting the dentist, it does not necessarily indicate that men are likely to be frightened about having dental work done than women are. It is highly possible that most of men faint during their teeth treatment rather than after it. For that matter, perhaps they feel more relaxed or comfortable when the dental work is done. [这里有点问题，题目中说three times more men than women faint while visiting the dentist，是while啊~~ 你怎么又说他们是看完医生以后昏厥的呢？嗯，嗯，反正这里说得不清楚，呵呵，你再看看] Therefore, the author's conclusion which based on the statistics is apparently unconvincing.

In addition, the suggestion that relies on the foregoing assumption seems to be groundless. First, the author has failed to inform us the number of male patients who visit the dentist is far larger than that of female patients.[咦？题目好像没说男患者远比女患者多啊]  It is entirely possible that females who have tooth problems are more than the male patients. Thus, there is a possibility that if dentists have focused they most attentions on male customs, the female patients would be unsatisfied with their works-perhaps they will lost their major customers.[咦？怎么只有个First，后面就没有了？]

Last but not the least, by claiming that the effectiveness of their anesthetic technology and the sensitivity of their staff are the most important elements for dentists to attract more customers,[作者好像不是宣称这两项对牙医最重要，而是说因为有那么多男性昏厥，所以要针对这点宣传] the author overlooks some other factors that would also contribute to their dental work. Perhaps the patients are more concerning about the clearness [clearness是“晴朗、明白、清晰”的意思，好像没有“卫生”或者“清洁”的意思，你再确认一下] and immune process of the dental curing. And also the restoring technology of the dentist is one of the most crucial elements for attracting customers. Furthermore, the high charge or the poor service of the teeth treatment is also prohibitive for some customers to come to the dentists. Maybe their [they] are more willing to take the kinds of painkillers other than spending a lot of money on such an ineffective treatment.[这个最后一句话好像有点和这段没关系的感觉，还有那个such an ineffective treatment，这个such指的不明啊]

Overall, the reason behind the author's conclusion seems logical since there are three time [times] men faint than women when visiting the dentists.[这里的since从句...怎么说呢，开头已经复述一遍了，to begin with那段也说了一遍，这里又说一遍好像有点重复阿] However, before jumping to the conclusion, we[we? or the arguer?] should evaluate all the factors than [that] would affect the quality of the dental work.

觉得有点对不起jingjing呢，是不是因为我催你早点交让你写得有点仓促啊，:( 你再好好看看改改吧，加油，呵呵

jingjingtousUID：2164820

amy,就知道你会毫不留情的，幸好我心理防线坚强。
1 这里有点问题，题目中说three times more men than women faint while visiting the dentist，是while啊~~ 你怎么又说他们是看完医生以后昏厥的呢？嗯，嗯，反正这里说得不清楚，呵呵，你再看
可能你误会我的意思了，我想批的是看牙医的时候男人比女人晕的多不能说明当dental work done以后男人比女人更痛楚，因为可能大多数的men是在拔牙的时候晕的，可能拔牙以后就不感到痛了
2 .[咦？题目好像没说男患者远比女患者多啊]
呵呵，这个我是想说作者并没有告诉我们男患者比女患者多所以要关注男患者，可能你想的是另一种思路吧
3 咦？怎么只有个First，后面就没有了？]惭愧，我不知道这个还可以怎么批，first是个死穴，所以请你指教
4 clearness [clearness是“晴朗、明白、清晰”的意思，好像没有“卫生”或者“清洁”的意思，你再确认一下]
汗，我打错了，应该是cleanness
5 .[这个最后一句话好像有点和这段没关系的感觉，还有那个such an ineffective treatment，这个such指的不明啊]
是应该不要such的，我想说的是病人可能更愿意吃止痛药而不是花大比钱却治不好病，惭愧，没有表达好，被amy揪出来了

amy, 记得早点回来，一路顺风！