argument147 5x4

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In the argument, the arguer advocates that the sales of Whirwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months. In support of the opinion, he provides the evidence that a survey shows that players prefer games presenting lifelike graphics. Further, he points out that Whirlwind has just introduced several such games. Unfortunately, the argument is problematic for the following critical flaws.

In the first place, the arguer presumes that since the young players enjoy the video game, they will purchase it at once, but he does not give enough reasons to the assumption, which makes it insufficient for him to build such a causal relationship. It is entirely possible that the young players have not enough money to buy the video game when the price set by the company is too high for them. Or perhaps their computers are not able to run such a program requiring the most up-to-date computers. Without ruling out such possibilities, the arguer cannot prove the necessity of the causal relationship.

Another problem weakening the argument is that the survey itself cannot lend a strong support to the conclusion. Firstly, the arguer does not prove that the number of players sampled for the survey is large enough so that the result is representative of all players. Any decision must be based on more thorough investigation so that the cause can be narrowed down and located. Secondly, we does not find any sign of procedure for random sampling, which makes one doubt whether the samples can represent the general attitude of all players.

Last but not least, the arguer neglects other factors that may be more important than the lifelike graphics in determining the popularity of video games. For example, many players may care more about other aspects of the game such as story line, style of depiction and forth than lifelike graphics. Or perhaps many may concern more about the difficulty level of the games for just playing video games for relax, they do not expect them too hard for a learner. All of these possibilities can prevent the video game produced by Whirlwind from being as popular as the arguer predicts.

To sum up, the argument fails to be well reasoned. To make it more convincing, the arguer needs to provide concrete evidence that the young players are able to buy the video games they like. He also needs more information regarding the limitation of the survey. In addition, more facts that the video game introduced by the Whirdwind is attractive to young players have to be presented.

[ 本帖最后由 collins_liu 于 2006-2-6 15:12 编辑 ]

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In the argument, the arguer advocates that the sales of Whirwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months. (In support of)用这个词组不妥吧，还是写To support好了 the opinion, he provides the evidence that a survey shows that players prefer games presenting lifelike graphics. Further, he points out that Whirlwind has just introduced several such games. Unfortunately, the argument is problematic for the following critical flaws.

In the first place, the arguer presumes that since the young players enjoy the video game, they will purchase it at once, but he does not give enough reasons to substantiatethe assumption, which makes it insufficient for him to build such a causal relationship. It is entirely possible that the young players have not enough money to buy the video game when the price set by the company is too high for them. Or perhaps their computers are not able to run 这个小词用得很漂亮 such a program requiring the most up-to-date computers. Without ruling out such possibilities, the arguer cannot prove the necessity of the causal relationship.

Another problem weakening the argument is that the survey itself cannot lend a strong support to the conclusion.前面这句TS写得太空，读过了还是不晓得你这段是想攻击什么。最好能具体化 Firstly, the arguer does not prove that the number of players sampled for the survey is large enough (so that)你在这里用so是不对的。样本容量和样本的代表性不存在因果关系，两者是并列的，只能用and连接 the result is representative of all players. Any decision must be based on more thorough investigation so that the cause can be narrowed down and located. Secondly, we does not find any sign of (procedure for)去掉好了 random sampling, which makes one doubt whether the samples can represent the general attitude of all players. 你在这段分了两个小层次，第一个层次讲了样本容量和代表性，第二个层次讲了样本应该随机抽样。但是你看看你最后一句话，又讲到代表性了。我给你的建议是，没有必要分为两个小层次。样本代表性实际上是隐含了随机抽样这个要求的，所以你讲着讲着又回去了。

Last but not least, the arguer neglects other factors that may be more important than the lifelike graphics in determining the popularity of video games. For example, many players may care more about other aspects of the game such as story line, style of depiction and so forth other than lifelike graphics. Or perhaps many may concern more about the difficulty level of the games (for just playing video games for relax)括号中的句子有问题，建议去掉，直接用for连接下面一句就可以了 they do not expect them too hard for a learner. All of these possibilities can prevent the video game produced by Whirlwind from being as popular as the arguer predicts.

To sum up, the argument fails to be well reasoned. To make it more convincing, the arguer needs to provide concrete evidence that the young players are able to buy the video games they like. He also needs more information regarding the limitation of the survey. In addition, more facts that the video game introduced by the Whirdwind is attractive to young players have to be presented.

collins, 下次要把题目和提纲附上。还好我刚写过，不然还要去把题目找出来，呵呵。