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[i习作temp] issue5 BaXia小组第5次作业-黑崎猫猫-限时失败 [复制链接]

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发表于 2006-2-7 09:28:44 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
限时失败的烂文,还改了很长时间~~~sign~~

提纲:1、基础教育大部分具有共性
      2、便于有统一的衡量标准来统一选拔人才
      3、要所有地区一样是不可能的,地域习俗条件等的不同
      4、一样则学生个性得不到发展,遏制创造力

I quite agree with the speaker's assertion that the curriculum required by a nation is better to be the same than to be determined by different parts of the nation. On the other hand, it is also a killer for the development of students' creation.

Fundamental education is designed to teach students the basic knowledge and the ability of learning. Before they go to the college, most of the knowledge they learn and abilities they should have are similar. So the curriculums they have are to some degree naturally the same with each other. As we all know, although senior school students around the world have the different curriculum for different cultures, they still have to master the general knowledge of mathematics, physics, biology and how to read and write, which is the necessary things a adolescent should be familiar with. That is to say, there is no need to be in particular most of the time before they go to the university.

Besides, the same national curriculum creates a convenient approach to weigh students' ability of   reading, writing, speaking and critical thinking by scores of the national examination which can be hold easily in a specially chosen time. The same criterion makes it easy to select able person from millions of graduates.

However, requiring all its students to study the same national curriculum is impossible for considering the limits of diverse customs and uneven equipments of education of the states.
Take biology for example, some of the experiments need live animals like rabbits and rats. If rabbits are particularly short of in one area, it is needless and a waste of money to specially transport rabbits there. Obviously it is more convenient to use other animals like frogs instead than to transport rabbits from another place. Otherwise, different culture makes things more difficult too; sometimes it is impossible to meet the needs of them all; sometimes the common sense of one area is seldom known by another area of the nation.

Secondly, if the education is thoroughly similar all of the country, students' individual characteristics will be destroyed brutally. Being lack of independent personality leads to the losing of creation, which is the crucial condition of social development.

In conclusion, having the same curriculum is an inevitable and useful process for students who haven't graduated from senior school. To the contrary, if all the students study the same curriculum,which is more to impede than to encourage the social progress.
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沙发
发表于 2006-2-7 17:49:46 |只看该作者
提纲:1、基础教育大部分具有共性
      2、便于有统一的衡量标准来统一选拔人才
      3、要所有地区一样是不可能的,地域习俗条件等的不同
      4、一样则学生个性得不到发展,遏制创造力

I quite agree with the speaker's assertion that the curriculum required by a nation is better to be the same than to be determined by different parts of the nation. On the other hand, it is also a killer(好象过于通俗化耶) for the development of students' creation.

Fundamental education is designed to teach students the basic knowledge and the ability of learning. Before they go to the college, most of the knowledge they learn and abilities they should have are similar. So the curriculums they have are to some degree naturally the same with each other. As we all know, although senior school students around the world have the different curriculum for different cultures, they still have to master the general knowledge of mathematics, physics, biology and how to read and write, which is the necessary things a adolescent should be familiar with.(我觉得这个例子没有太好的说服力。就拿中国和美国来说,对数学以及理科方面的课程教学不同就会造成我们现在所看到的明显差异) That is to say, there is no need to be in particular most of the time before they go to the university.

Besides, the same national curriculum creates a convenient approach to weigh students' ability of   reading, writing, speaking and critical thinking by scores of the national examination which can be hold easily in a specially chosen time. The same criterion makes it easy to select able person from millions of graduates.

However, requiring all its students to study the same national curriculum is impossible for considering the limits of diverse customs and uneven equipments of education of the states.
Take biology for example, some of the experiments need live animals like rabbits and rats. If rabbits are particularly short of in one area, it is needless and a waste of money to specially transport rabbits there(同样是实验课难道会因为兔子的不同而造成课程种类的不同么?我是文科生,不是太懂这个,嘿嘿). Obviously it is more convenient to use other animals like frogs instead than to transport rabbits from another place. Otherwise, different culture makes things more difficult too; sometimes it is impossible to meet the needs of them all; sometimes the common sense of one area is seldom known by another area of the nation.

Secondly, if the education is thoroughly similar all of the country, students' individual characteristics will be destroyed brutally. Being lack of independent personality leads to the losing of creation, which is the crucial condition of social development.(我觉得这一段还可以在深入写一下,比如如果个人特点被埋没了将有什么后果之类的)

In conclusion, having the same curriculum is an inevitable and useful process for students who haven't graduated from senior school. To the contrary, if all the students study the same curriculum,which is more to impede than to encourage the social progress.

我觉得这篇文章你完全可以再进行深入的写一下,感觉每个理由都只是轻轻点了一下

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板凳
发表于 2006-2-7 18:51:02 |只看该作者
issue5 BaXia小组第5次作业-黑崎猫猫-限时失败 猫猫

限时失败的烂文,还改了很长时间~~~sign~~

提纲:1、基础教育大部分具有共性
      2、便于有统一的衡量标准来统一选拔人才
      3、要所有地区一样是不可能的,地域习俗条件等的不同
      4、一样则学生个性得不到发展,遏制创造力

I quite agree with the speaker's assertion that the curriculum required by a nation is better to be the same than to be determined by different parts of the nation. On the other hand, [这里不该用On the other hand, 其实用个but就够了。]it is also a killer for the development of students' creation[creation不如innovation好,creation一般指创造出来的东西,而innovation更偏向创造力一点].

Fundamental education is designed to teach students the basic knowledge and the ability of learning. Before they go to the college, most of the knowledge they learn and abilities they should have are similar. So the curriculums they have are to some degree naturally the same with each other. As we all know, although senior school students around the world have the different curriculum for different cultures, they still have to master the general knowledge of mathematics, physics, biology and how to read and write, which is the necessary things[thing] a adolescent should be familiar with. That is to say, there is no need to be in particular most of the time before they go to the university.

Besides, the same national curriculum creates a convenient approach to weigh students' ability of reading, writing, speaking and critical thinking by scores of the national examination which can be hold easily in a specially chosen time. The same criterion makes it easy to select able person from millions of graduates.

However, requiring all its students to study the same national curriculum is impossible for considering[due to更合适一些?] the limits of diverse customs and uneven equipments of education of the states. Take biology for example, some of the experiments need live animals like rabbits and rats. If rabbits are particularly short of in one area, it is needless and a waste of money to specially transport rabbits there. Obviously it is more convenient to use other animals like frogs instead than to transport rabbits from another place. Otherwise, different culture makes things more difficult too; sometimes it is impossible to meet the needs of them all; sometimes the common sense of one area is seldom known by another area of the nation.

Secondly, if the education is thoroughly similar all of the country, students' individual characteristics will be destroyed brutally. Being lack of independent personality leads to the losing of creation, which is the crucial condition of social development.

In conclusion, having the same curriculum is an inevitable and useful process for students who haven't graduated from senior school. To the contrary, if all the students study the same curriculum,which is more to impede than to encourage the social progress.[怎么觉得这段是自相矛盾的?]
细节的错误很少,说说整体的感觉吧:
1.结构不清晰:虽然分了很多段且每段都用了标志词。
B1写的是基础教育的课程具有共性,因此统一课程就可以达到这个要求。但是并没有充分的说出统一课程的优越性。
B2我觉得很好,再展开一下就好了。
B3写了统一课程的impossibility.举了兔子的例子,感觉不是特别有说服力,毕竟现在交通条件这么发达了……
B4统一课程会磨灭学生的个性,这个也很好,可惜也没有展开写,可能是因为限时的缘故吧。
2.论证感觉比较单薄,B2和B4。我觉得这两个论点是理由最充分的,如果可以写的和B1,B3差不多,整体看起来会饱满很多。
3.论点没有表述明确:第一段只用了2个句子,一句同意一句贬,也有点自相矛盾的意思。推荐看看imong的一篇文章,其中讲到了对这个题目的分析,可能会有帮助:
<https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=202380>
3.13--原来一回头就是奇迹

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地板
发表于 2006-2-7 19:51:39 |只看该作者

加油

提纲:1、基础教育大部分具有共性
      2、便于有统一的衡量标准来统一选拔人才
      3、要所有地区一样是不可能的,地域习俗条件等的不同
      4、一样则学生个性得不到发展,遏制创造力

I quite agree with the speaker's assertion that the curriculum required by a nation is better to be the same than to be determined by different parts of the nation. On the other hand, it is also a killer这个词不太好 for the development of students' creation.

Fundamental education is designed to teach students the basic knowledge and the ability of learning. Before they go to the college, most of the knowledge they learn and abilities they should have are similar. So the curriculums they have are to some degree naturally the same with each other. As we all know, although senior school students around the world have the删掉 different curriculums for different cultures, they still have to master the general knowledge of mathematics, physics, biology and how to read and write, which is the necessary我感觉应该是necesaary the things that a adolescent should be familiar with. That is to say, there is no need to be in particular most of the time before they go to the university. 是说没有必要非别对待吧, 有点表达不清

Besides, the same national curriculum creates a convenient approach to weigh students' ability of   reading, writing, speaking and critical thinking by scores of the national examination which can be hold easily in a specially special chosen time. The same criterion makes it easy to select able person from millions of graduates.我明白你的意思,你的意思有点像中国的高考,但是在美国的高考可不是这样,他们是根据高中的积分情况选择大学的,他们会觉得不可理解
However, requiring all its删掉 students to study the same national curriculum is impossible for considering the limits of diverse customs and uneven equipments of education of the states.Take biology for example, some of the experiments need live animals like rabbits and rats. If rabbits are particularly short of in one area, it is needless and a waste of money to specially transport rabbits there. Obviously it is more convenient to use other animals like frogs 这个类比不好, 要和兔子差不多,狗就可以替代, 可能是我们平常试验做多了,考试时也许没有人计较instead than to transport rabbits from another place. Otherwise, different culture makes things more difficult too; sometimes it is impossible to meet the needs of them all; sometimes the common sense of one area is seldom known by another area of the nation.

Secondly, if the education is thoroughly similar all of the country, students' individual characteristics will be destroyed brutally. Being lack of independent personality leads to the losing of creation, which is the crucial condition of social development.

In conclusion, having the same curriculum is an inevitable and useful process for students who haven't graduated from senior school. To the contrary, if all the students study the same curriculum,which is more to impede than to encourage the social progress.

建议猫猫,看看frued传上来的提纲,整篇文章你就只说了一个话题,就是课程一样与不一样,参考一下, 文章会有深度的。

[ 本帖最后由 Anny.Y.Wang 于 2006-2-7 20:05 编辑 ]

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发表于 2006-2-7 23:04:47 |只看该作者
提纲:1、基础教育大部分具有共性
      2、便于有统一的衡量标准来统一选拔人才
      3、要所有地区一样是不可能的,地域习俗条件等的不同
      4、一样则学生个性得不到发展,遏制创造力

I quite agree with the speaker's assertion that the curriculum required by a nation is better to be the same than to be determined by different parts of the nation. On the other hand whereas or however is better?, it is also a killer for the development of students' creation.

Fundamental education is designed to teach is not very suitable with ability.. students the basic knowledge and the ability of learning. Before they go to the college, most of the knowledge they learn and abilities they should have are similar. So the curriculums they have are to some degree naturally the same with each other. As we all know, although senior school students around the world have the different curriculum for different cultures, they still have to master the general knowledge of mathematics, physics, biology and how to read and write, which is the necessary things a adolescent should be familiar with. That is to say, there is no need to be in delete particular most of the time before they go to the university.

Besides, the same national curriculum creates a convenient approach to weigh students' ability of reading, writing, speaking and critical thinking by scores of the national examination which can be hold easily in a specially chosen time. The same criterion makes it easy to select able person from millions of graduates.

However, requiring all its students to study the same national curriculum is impossible for considering the limits of diverse customs and uneven equipments of education of-around the states.
Take biology for example, some of the experiments need live animals like rabbits and rats. If rabbits are particularly short of in one area, it is needless and a waste of money to specially transport rabbits there. Obviously it is more convenient to use other animals like frogs instead than to transport rabbits from another place.frogs and rabbits are used in different experiments considering their specialities are so different from each other. Otherwise, different cultures makes things more difficult too; sometimes it is impossible to meet the needs of them all; sometimes the common sense of one area is seldom known by another area of the nation.

Secondly, if the education is thoroughly similar all of the country, students' individual characteristics will be destroyed brutally. Being lack of independent personality leads to the losing of creation, which is the crucial condition of social development.

In conclusion, having the same curriculum is an inevitable and useful process for students who haven't graduated from senior school. To On? the contrary, if all the students study the same curriculum,which is more to impede than to encourage the social progress.

总的来说,结尾比较仓促,不知道是不是因为限时的原因?呵呵,基本能表达提纲的意思,有些用词有待进一步准确哈。

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发表于 2006-2-7 23:20:21 |只看该作者
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RE: issue5 BaXia小组第5次作业-黑崎猫猫-限时失败 [修改]

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issue5 BaXia小组第5次作业-黑崎猫猫-限时失败
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