Issue138 ToHeart互改组 模考啦，也就这水平

dinddind2003UID: 196353

TOPIC：ISSUE 138 - "Only through mistakes can there be discovery or progress."
WORDS：390          TIME：0:45:00          DATE：2006-2-5


It is true that on the way to discovery or progress, many mistakes may come up, and it is these mistakes that continually lead us to the right direction. However, not every discovery or progress is based on mistakes.

Admittedly, usually there are many mistakes waiting for us on our way to discovery or progress. First, discoveries are the things our ancestors have never met and we do not know the accurate way to reach them. Usually discoveries call for a lot of experiments and analysis and we can not find the right way as easily as we expected, as a result, mistakes are very possible to occur. For example, when Edison developed the idea to invent an electric bulb, he did not know how to prevent the material which emits light from being destroyed as a result of high temperature, then he tried thousands of materials all of which did not truly effective--in other words he made thousands of mistakes. Second, people might have had some mistakes in realizing this world since long before such as the geocentric theory and the idea that the earth was flat. Before we correct these mistakes to reach discoveries, mistakes still existed.

Furthermore, it is these mistakes that continually lead us to the right direction. First, after making mistakes, people may find why they have made them. Then people can improve their experimental methods to make themselves access to the success. Every time Edison made a mistake, he is much nearer to the right material. Second, after people correct the existed mistakes, discovery comes up, just as Copernicus proved that the geocentric theory was wrong and heliocentric theory was right, and Magellan showed that the earth was not flat but round.

However, not every discovery or progress is based on mistakes. First, although on our way to a discovery there are usually a lot of choices--maybe only one of which is correct. It is possible that people are so lucky that they find the right way at the first time although the chance of this is very little. Second, some discoveries occurred accidentally--just like Faraday found electromagnetic induction when he was doing other experiments.

In sum, although not every discovery or progress is happened through mistakes, mistakes play an important part in the progress of human history.

[ 本帖最后由 dinddind2003 于 2006-2-8 21:00 编辑 ]

zhangheng1020UID: 2130513

原帖由 dinddind2003 于 2006-2-8 20:54 发表
TOPIC：ISSUE 138 - "Only through mistakes can there be discovery or progress."
WORDS：390          TIME：0:45:00          DATE：2006-2-5
It is true that on the way to discovery or progress, many mistakes may come up, and it is these mistakes that continually lead us to the right direction. However, not every discovery or progress is based on mistakes.

Admittedly, usually there are many mistakes waiting for us on our way to discovery or progress. First, discoveries are the things our ancestors have never met and we do not know the accurate way to reach them. Usually discoveries call for a lot of experiments and analysis and we can not find the right way as easily as we expected, as a result, mistakes are very possible to occur. For example, when Edison developed the idea to invent an electric bulb, he did not know how to prevent the material which emits light from being destroyed as a result of high temperature, then he tried thousands of materials all of which did not truly effective--in other words he made thousands of mistakes. Second, people might have had some mistakes in realizing this world since long before such as the geocentric theory and the idea that the earth was flat. 和分论点的逻辑关系不明确，建议加上几句话作为铺垫Before we correct these mistakes to reach discoveries, mistakes still existed. （secondly, mistake itself shows a potential direction to the further solution.  As mistake happens in the place where there is the limitation of current theory, the progress on correcting those mistakes can lead to discovery.）

Furthermore, it is these mistakes that continually lead us to the right direction.（强调句的语气太硬了，下一段就不太好让步，建议一般的简单句就好） First, after making mistakes, people may find why they have made them. Then people can improve their experimental methods to make themselves access to the success. Every time Edison made a mistake, he is much nearer to the right material. Second, after people correct the existed mistakes, discovery comes up, just as Copernicus proved that the geocentric theory was wrong and heliocentric theory was right, and Magellan showed that the earth was not flat but round.这段的表达和逻辑没有问题，可是我个人不赞同这样的观点（其实错误只是暗示问题的可能方向，揭示问题存在，成功与否更多的是面对错误的态度，一种客观的思维，敏感发现问题的头脑。和单纯错误的产生并没有直接必然的联系，仅供参考！）

However, not every discovery or progress is based on mistakes. First, although on our way to a discovery there are usually a lot of choices--maybe only one of which is correct. It is possible that people are so lucky that they find the right way at the first time although the chance of this is very little. Second, some discoveries occurred accidentally--just like Faraday found electromagnetic induction when he was doing other experiments.

In sum, although not every discovery or progress is happened through mistakes, mistakes play an important part in the progress of human history.

语言上面进步很大，因为限时，所以思路上面稍显简单。每一段的组织略微有点僵硬。建议多换几种句式。加油，加油！