issue154 Baxia 第七次作文~黑崎~限时第二次失败~

黑崎猫猫UID: 209414

限时第二次失败~~么例子~~:L


issue154
"Both parents and communities must be involved in the local schools. Education is too important to leave solely to a group of professional educators."



部分反对：partly against

1、反对：各司其职，否则会扰乱学校的 教学秩序
         1、家庭：从家庭教育和父母的言传身教上培养孩子的道德观，价值观，
                           世界观生 活习惯个性等
         2、社会：培养孩子独立自主的能力
         3、学校：.........
         三者相辅相成，不可缺一互相合作，却也不能相互干扰，混淆，
2、专业教育这也要通过与家长和社会的交流来不断修正教育方式方法

3、当然，家庭和社会过于和local school脱离，失去交流和联系，使得专业教育与家庭和社会教育脱离，会对孩子的个性培养造成混乱


I quite agree with the opinion that both parents and communities should cooperate with local schools to teach students, but I couldn't agree with the speaker's assertion that they must be involved in the local schools for the importance of education. For the reason that, local school, a place where uses specially designed curriculum to teach students knowledge, spiritual outlooks, and critical thinking, the education of which might be rudely disturbed by parents and communities' diverse and always changing opinions if they involve in it.

First, family, communities and local school are all having their own special role in the education of a student or a person, and the roles of which can't be confused. Local school have the function of teaching students knowledge, logical thinking and the ability of communicating with others, most of which can't be learn at home or in the communities. The parents are always the first idol that is regarded with admiration and devotion by their child and have great influence to the child's characteristic development, not to say the ceaseless affection of daily life until their child leaves home. Besides, the communities are the place where a students or a person practice abilities and chasten himself/herself for independence and a kind of iron will, which still can't be got in school and the family circumstance. Each of three plays the unique role in the educating of students, which shouldn't not only be lost, but also be confused. Thus, cooperation is obviously better than being involved in.


However, without the basic communication from the family and communities to the local schools also might lead to the failing of education. For a certain extent of communication encourage the professional educators to exchange opinions with parents and communities, in order to make the education curriculum suit to the students' interests and individual needs and more-the current society.

On the other hand, a dislocation between local schools and family and communities will lead to a confusion of students' individual characteristic. A student might dislocate what he/she learned at school and the things the family and communities told him/her, and eventually ill-judged what he/she seeing.

In sum, both parents and communities are better to be associated with local school than to be involved in them. Otherwise, without basic communication, a dislocation of education also might lead to the failing.

[ 本帖最后由 黑崎猫猫 于 2006-2-10 23:20 编辑 ]

freud5027UID: 2165870

I quite agree with the opinion that both parents and communities should cooperate with local schools to teach students, but I couldn't agree with the speaker's assertion that they must be involved in the local schools for the importance of education. For the reason that, local school, a place where uses specially designed curriculum to teach students knowledge, spiritual outlooks, and critical thinking,<原本以为你这里定义local school是specially designed用特殊用意。。。> the education of which might be rudely disturbed by parents and communities' diverse and always changing opinions if they involve in it.

First, family, communities and local school are all having their own special role in the education of a student or a person, and the roles of which can't be confused. Local school have the function of teaching students knowledge, logical thinking and the ability of communicating with others, most of which can't be learn at home or in the communities<学还是能学的，顶多学得不好，不完善>. The parents are always the first idol that is regarded with admiration and devotion by their child and have great influence to the child's characteristic development, not to say the ceaseless affection of daily life until their child leaves home. Besides, the communities are the place where a students or a person practice abilities and chasten himself/herself for independence and a kind of iron will, which still can't be got in school and the family circumstance.<个人认父母、学校和社会对于你说谈及的能力的培养都起到一定作用，当然不同阶段，他们对这些能力所起的主导作用是不同的，但完全孤立的将其分割开来是有失偏颇的，能力的培养，本身就是一个连续的过程。> Each of three plays the unique role in the educating of students, which shouldn't not only be lost, but also be confused. Thus, cooperation is obviously better than being involved in.


However, without the basic communication from the family(families) and communities to the local schools also might lead to the failing of education. For a certain extent of communication encourage the professional educators to exchange opinions with parents and communities<这里的communities应该具体化吧>, in order to make the education curriculum (educational curricula) suit to(删) the students' interests and individual needs and more-the current society.

On the other hand, a dislocation between local schools and family(families) and communities will lead to a confusion of students' individual characteristic. A student might dislocate what he/she learned at school and the things the family and communities told him/her, and eventually ill-judged what he/she seeing.<可以细谈在学校与社会之间进行过渡适应的重要性，具体有何手段？>

In sum, both parents and communities are better to be associated with local school than to be involved in them. Otherwise, without basic communication, a dislocation of education also might lead to the failing.


相比后极短的简短，第二段好庞大啊……
没例子，说理详细一点也好的，再说举例分两种，
一种是详细的完整的例子，一种就是穷举法啦，哈哈……

michelle1021UID: 195011

I quite agree with the opinion that both parents and communities should cooperate with local schools to teach students, but I couldn't agree with the speaker's assertion that they must be involved in the local schools for the importance of education. For the reason that, local school, a place where uses specially designed curriculum to teach students knowledge, spiritual outlooks, and critical thinking, the education of which might be rudely disturbed by parents and communities' diverse and always changing opinions （个人觉得可以写成opinions always cannot be uniformed）if they involve in it.

First, family, communities and local school are all having their own special role in the education of a student or a person, and the roles of which can't be confused. Local school have the function of teaching students knowledge, logical thinking and the ability of communicating with others, most of which can't be learn at home or in the communities. The parents are always the first idol that is regarded with admiration and devotion by their childchildren and have great influence to the child's characteristic development, not to say the ceaseless affection of daily life until their child leaves home. Besides, the communities are the place where a studentsstudent or a person practice abilities and chasten himself/herself for independence and a kind of iron will, which still can't be got in school and the family circumstance. Each of three plays the unique role in the educating of students, which shouldn't not only be lost, but also be confused. Thus, cooperation is obviously better than being involved in.这段例子显得长而乱


However, without the basic communication from the family and communities to the local schools also might lead to the failing of education. For a certain extent of communication encourage the professional educators to exchange opinions with parents and communities, in order to make the education curriculum suit to the students' interests and individual needs and more-the current society.这段似乎少了些吧

On the other hand, a dislocation between local schools and family and communities will lead to a confusion of students' individual characteristic. A student might dislocate what he/she learned at school and the things the family and communities told him/her, and eventually ill-judged what he/she seeing.这段也可以多写点，比如对孩子将来的影响

In sum, both parents and communities are better to be associated with local school than to be involved in them. Otherwise, without basic communication, a dislocation of education also might lead to the failing.

我觉得段落结构不是很协调，例子还可以扩展

forevercocoUID: 149574

I quite agree with the opinion that both parents and communities should cooperate with local schools to teach students, but I couldn't agree with the speaker's assertion that they must be involved in the local schools for the importance of education. For the reason that, local school, a place where uses specially designed curriculum to teach students knowledge, spiritual outlooks, and critical thinking, the education of which might be rudely disturbed by parents and communities' diverse and always changing opinions if they involve in it.

First, family, communities and local school are all having their own special role in the education of a student or a person, and the roles of which can't be confused. Local school have the function of teaching students knowledge, logical thinking and the ability of communicating with others, most of which can't be learn at home or in the communities. The parents are always the first idol that is regarded with admiration and devotion by their child and have great influence to the child's characteristic development, not to say the ceaseless affection of daily life until their child leaves home. Besides, the communities are the place where a students or a person practice abilities and chasten himself/herself for independence and a kind of iron will, which still can't be got in school and the family circumstance. Each of 加一个thesethree plays the unique role in the educatingeducation of students, which shouldn't not only be lostmissed可能好些, but also be confused. Thus, cooperation is obviously better than being involved in.
最后一句的的意思，如果可以放在TS里表达可能会更好。

However, without the basic communication from the family and communities to the local schoolsbetween family, community and local school, also mightit might also,这里缺了主语 lead to the failing of education. For a certain extent of communication encourageencourages the professional educators to exchange opinions with parents and communities, in order to make the education curriculum suit to the students' interests and individual needs and more-the current societythe demand of society.

On the other hand, a dislocation between local schools and family and communities will lead to a confusion of students' individual characteristic. A student might dislocate what he/she learned at school and the things the family and communities told him/her, and eventually ill-judgedill-judge what he/she seeing.

In sum, both parents and communities are better to be associated with local school than to be involved in them. Otherwise, without basic communication, a dislocation of education also might lead to the failing.
本帖最后由 黑崎猫猫 于 2006-2-10 23:20 编辑

感觉比较乱，可能是因为限时吧，没有把提纲充分的体现出来。B1写到了cooperation和involve in的区别，这点感觉很好的，如果有个例子说明就更好了。

Anny.Y.WangUID: 2178596

issue154
"Both parents and communities must be involved in the local schools. Education is too important to leave solely to a group of professional educators."



部分反对：partly against

1、反对：各司其职，否则会扰乱学校的 教学秩序
         1、家庭：从家庭教育和父母的言传身教上培养孩子的道德观，价值观，
                           世界观生 活习惯个性等
         2、社会：培养孩子独立自主的能力
         3、学校：.........
         三者相辅相成，不可缺一互相合作，却也不能相互干扰，混淆，
2、专业教育这也要通过与家长和社会的交流来不断修正教育方式方法

3、当然，家庭和社会过于和local school脱离，失去交流和联系，使得专业教育与家庭和社会教育脱离，会对孩子的个性培养造成混乱


I quite agree with the opinion that both parents and communities should cooperate with local schools to teach students, but I couldn't agree with the speaker's assertion that they must be involved in the local schools for the importance of education. For the reason that, local school, a place where uses specially designed curriculum to teach students knowledge, spiritual outlooks, and critical thinking, the education of which might be rudely disturbed by parents and communities' diverse and always changing opinions if they involve in it.（我一直在考虑，为什么文章会提到使local  school会不会美国的学校不同，比如他们资金来源不同就会有不同的教学方案？你这边提到了local school, 我就想听听你是怎样人为的？）
First, family, communities and local school （是要用复数都用呢？）are all having their own special role in the education of a student or a person, and the roles of which can't be confused. Local schools have the function of teaching students knowledge, logical thinking and the ability of communicating with others, most of which can't be learn at home or in the communities. The(这里不需要特指) parents are always the first idol that is regarded with admiration and devotion by their children and have great influence to the child's characteristic development, not to say the ceaseless affection of daily life until their child leaves home. Besides, the communities are the place where a students or a person practice abilities and chasten himself/herself for independence and a kind of iron will, which still can't be got in school and the family circumstance. Each of three plays the unique role in the educating of students, which shouldn't not only be lost, but also be confused. Thus, cooperation is obviously better than being involved in.(是的，家长，社区，学校都各自起着不同的作用。思路很好)

However, without the basic communication from the family and communities to the local schools also might lead to the failing of education. For a certain extent of communication encourage the professional educators to exchange opinions with parents and communities, in order to make the education curriculum suit to the students' interests and individual needs and more-the current society.（学校和家长之间的交流很重要）
On the other hand, a dislocation between local schools and family and communities will lead to a confusion of students' individual characteristic. A student might dislocate what he/she learned at school and the things the family and communities told him/her, and eventually ill-judged what he/she seeing.

In sum, both parents and communities are better to be associated with local school than to be involved in them. Otherwise, without basic communication, a dislocation of education also might lead to the failing.

整体来说，文章的思路还是很清楚的。
在注意一下一些小的语法问题，就好了。


[ 本帖最后由 Anny.Y.Wang 于 2006-2-12 20:40 编辑 ]