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[i习作temp] ISSUE142 互拍留链接 [复制链接]

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发表于 2006-2-15 10:38:29 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
------题目------
ISSUE142. The well-being of a society is enhanced when many of its people question authority.
------正文------
Is the well-being of a society is enhanced when many of its people question authority, as the author asserts? In my observation, I fundamentally agree with the author's assertion, because even the so called authority could not always be right or they consider the problem in a special aspect which does not stand beside the whole society. However, I also must contend that it is inappropriate to question authority regardless what suggestions or decisions they make.

Admittedly, the authorities are more professional on the issues they study than normal people, thus, it is true that they could consider the same question more comprehensive and deeper in most cases. But even the authorities still could make sure they will always right, more importantly, the well-being of a society is a broad conception which includes a lot of aspects, thus, to begin with I would take the study in academic for example, in the past time, the authorities in Europe were dominated by the theory which presented that the earth is the center of the whole universe. Nevertheless, the great astronomer Copernicus and Bruno stated that it is not the earth but the sun is the center of the universe which seriously did harm to the religions. Though Bruno was burned in Rome, his theory about universe was accepted by many people and with the development of natural science and also because most of people began to question the religion authority, at last, the John Paul II admitted that they had made a serious mistake on Bruno. Although the theory is presented by Bruno, if without the most people believe and support the theory, it is hard to build a correct universal value which is opposite to traditional religion conceptions.

In the field of politics, it is the most obvious situation that the well-being of a society could be enhanced when many of its people question mainly about politics leaders. It is simply because this kind of question is the direct embody of social problems, otherwise there would be no such situation. Take the movement opposite the discrimination on blacks in America for example, before the famous Civil War, the blacks in America had no right to vote even without the basic rights such as sitting in front of a bus, the outstanding socialist and the Noble Peace Prize winner Martin Luther King lead the American blacks question and opposite the unjust laws and at last they obtain the administration's authorization. From then on, the American society is more harmonious although there are some flaws as well. But generally speaking, people's question on authority would do well in the society's development.

To sum up, I agree with the author's claim, to achieve a more harmonious society we should pay attention to the people's question. At the same time, it is also inappropriately to question authority blindly; it would be only contraproductive to enhance the well-being of society.
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发表于 2006-2-15 11:02:03 |只看该作者

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发表于 2006-2-15 22:22:50 |只看该作者
ISSUE142 互拍留链接

------题目------
ISSUE142. The well-being of a society is enhanced when many of its people question authority.
------正文------
[提个建议先,可以先列出outline吗?这样方便理清思路,呵呵]
Is the well-being of a society is enhanced when many of its people question authority, as the author asserts? [反问开头,本来很好,不过最好词语上变化一下,别restate原题] In my observation, I fundamentally agree with the author's assertion, because even the so called authority could not always be right or they consider the problem in a special aspect which does not stand beside the whole society. However, I also must contend that it is inappropriate to question authority regardless [不需要加of吗?] what suggestions or decisions they make [感觉用had made好点].

Admittedly, the authorities are more professional on the issues they study than normal [好象用ordinary或者 common之类的比较好,normal 通常都与abnormal对应 ] people, thus, it is true that they could consider the same question more comprehensive and deeper in most cases. But even the authorities still could make sure they will always right, more importantly, the well-being of a society is a broad conception which includes a lot of aspects, thus,[这里好象用thus不合适吧?从论点到举例,没有因果关系啊?] to begin with I would take the study in academic for example, in the past time, the authorities in Europe were dominated by the theory which presented that the earth is the center of the whole universe. Nevertheless, the great astronomer Copernicus and Bruno stated that it is not the earth but the sun is the center of the universe which seriously did harm to [用conflict with 好点吧?] the religions. Though Bruno was burned in Rome, his theory about universe was accepted by many people and with the development of natural science and also because most of people began to question the religion authority […and with…and also because…这句话好象有点问题哦] at last, the John Paul II admitted that they had made a serious mistake on Bruno. Although the theory is presented by Bruno, if without the most people believe and support the theory, [把这句话提到前面讲,效果更好,…the theory presented by Bruno was accepted by most people gradually and then more and more people begin to question the traditional authoritative earth-center theory, which forced John Paul II…思路大概就这样,当然我句子比较烂,呵呵] it is hard to build a correct universal value which is opposite to traditional religion conceptions. [通常句首就应该提出观点,最多第一句引用名言警句,第二句就应该点明自己的观点,但是你好象到BUT才是top sentence,个人觉得这样不太好,在一段里先让步再转折,有点考ETS的耐心哦,你再斟酌斟酌]

In the field of politics, it is the most obvious situation that the well-being of a society could be enhanced when many of its people question mainly about politics [不能用political吗?] leaders. It is simply because this kind of question is the direct embody of social problems, otherwise there would be no such situation. Take the movement opposite the discrimination on blacks in America for example, before the famous Civil War, the blacks in America had no right to vote even without the basic rights such as sitting in front of a bus, the outstanding socialist and the Noble Peace Prize winner Martin Luther King lead the American blacks question and opposite the unjust laws and at last they obtain the administration's authorization. From then on, the American society is more harmonious although there are some flaws as well. [感觉还可以再论述一些,种族冲突不激烈了,黑人和白人一起共同努力建设well-being society等等] But generally speaking, people's question on authority would do well in the society's development.

To sum up, I agree with the author's claim, to achieve a more harmonious society we should pay attention to the people's question. At the same time, it is also inappropriately to question authority blindly; it would be only contraproductive [是counterproductive吧?]to enhance the well-being of society.

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ISSUE142 互拍留链接
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