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issue36 改了下 这次只支持一种 [复制链接]

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发表于 2006-2-16 17:53:54 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
TOPIC: ISSUE36 - "The greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries."
WORDS: 519          TIME: 0:45:00          DATE: 06-2-16

There is a controversy over the issue of the greatness of the individuals how they were determined. Some claim that the greatness can be decided only by those who live after them, while others may argue that it should be judged by their contemporaries. For my part, it is not such a simple conclusion to draw in haste in that diverse areas have different situations.

In the field of science, great discoveries and inventions generally experience a long period of time to be recognized by most individuals. Scientific researches are generally beyond ordinary men's understanding abilities and scientific cutting-edge fruit is difficult for people to accept because they are  usually far from people's life which can best be explained by the example of the general and special theory of relativity raised by Einstein. Up to today, the number of the experts who can understand this theory can be counted. Besides, some theories wait to be qualified by time and more proofs. An conclusion which seems right today at certain circumstance may be questioned tomorrow by more strict situations. What science pursue is accuracy. There is no wonder greatness in scientific field are always admitted by generations afterward.

Opposite to science area, art is always well accepted by its contemporary individuals including the most ordinary people. Art bring individuals pleasure, beauty and reflect humanity. That is some goals people are pursueing and they appreciated such things art create. That is why all people are fond of art even though not everyone are artists. As a result, they tend to express great respect and appreciation towards those who produce happiness to them and their life, the artists. A growing number of people  are beginning to place emphasis on artists's work and  artists are inclined to receive recognization in their period for  they can be best understanded by contemporaries.

Likewise, achievement in business and sport , obviously, prove the greatness of the enterpreneurs and athletes. In the business world, nothing can be more indispensable than earning more money. Making more profit, from the beginning, is the terminal aim of a successful company. It is decided by the essence of the commerce itself. The greatness of a great businessman is embodyed by the management and leading ability as well as his wise judgement on the market. The direct result of the sagacious management is the popularity of the mass and the money it earned. When it comes to sport, nothing could be better than a gold medal for an excellent athlete. When Liu Xiang won the 110meter high hurdles championship, the whole world cheer for him and his country, and instantly he became a hero in China. The medal was the best proof of his greatness. Contemporaries easily understand the two kinds of people's success.

To sum up, contemporaries have opportunities to know the great men in person more understandably for they share the same period whereas people living after them can judge the greatness in a historical prospective. Nevertheless, real gold remain in the fire. The great things, down to the earth, is not determined by people's opinions but it stays forever.

[ 本帖最后由 reffo 于 2006-2-16 23:26 编辑 ]
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沙发
发表于 2006-2-16 22:03:46 |只看该作者

up

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板凳
发表于 2006-2-16 22:17:10 |只看该作者

不错~

There is a controversy over the issue of the greatness of the individuals how(这个放在greatness前面好些吧?) they(去掉) were determined. Some claim that the greatness can be decided only by those who live after them, while others may argue that it should be judged by their contemporaries. For my part, it is not such a simple conclusion to draw in haste in that diverse areas have different situations.

In the field of science, great discoveries and inventions generally experience a long period of time to be recognized by most individuals. Scientific researches are generally beyond ordinary men's understanding abilities and scientific cutting-edge fruit is difficult for people to accept because they are usually far from people's life which can best be explained by the example of the general and special theory of relativity raised by Einstein. Up to today, the number of the experts who can understand this theory can be counted. Besides, some theories wait to be qualified by time and more proofs. An conclusion which seems right today at certain circumstance may be questioned tomorrow by more strict situations. What science pursue(pursues) is accuracy. There is no wonder greatness in scientific field are always admitted by generations afterward.

Opposite to science area, art is always well accepted by its contemporary individuals including the most ordinary people. Art bring(brings) individuals pleasure, beauty and reflect humanity. That is(those are) some goals people are(去掉) pursuing and they appreciated such things art create. That is why all people are fond of art even though not everyone are artists. As a result, they tend to express great respect and appreciation towards those who produce happiness to them and their life, the artists. A growing number of people are beginning to place emphasis on artists’ work and artists are inclined to receive recognization (recognition) in their period for they can be best understanded(understood) by contemporaries.

Likewise, achievement in business and sport, obviously, prove the greatness of the entrepreneurs and athletes. In the business world, nothing can be more indispensable than earning more money. Making more profit, from the beginning, is the terminal aim of a successful company. It is decided by the essence of the commerce itself. The greatness of a great businessman is embodied by the management and leading ability as well as his wise judgement (judgment) on the market. The direct result of the sagacious management is the popularity of the mass and the money it earned. When it comes to sport, nothing could be better than a gold medal for an excellent athlete. When Liu Xiang won the 110meter high hurdles championship, the whole world cheer for him and his country, and instantly he became a hero in China. The medal was the best proof of his greatness. Contemporaries easily understand the two kinds of people's success.

To sum up, contemporaries have opportunities to know the great men in person more understandably for they share the same period whereas people living after them can judge the greatness in a historical prospective. Nevertheless, real gold remain in the fire. The great things, down to the earth, are not determined by people's opinions but it stays forever.

写得挺好呢~
语言&例子都很不错哟

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地板
发表于 2006-2-16 23:25:47 |只看该作者

改了下

There is much controversy over the issue of how the greatness of the individuals was determined. Some claim that the greatness can be judged by their contemporaries, while others may argue that it should be decided only by those who live after them. In the following discussion, I’d like to provide evidence favoring the former one and refuting the latter one to support my point.

In the field of art, greatness is always well accepted by its contemporary individuals including the most ordinary people. Art bring individuals pleasure, beauty and reflect humanity. Those are some goals people pursuing and they appreciated such things art create. That is why all people are fond of art even though not everyone is artists. As a result, they tend to express great respect and appreciation towards those who produce happiness to them and their life, the artists. A growing number of people are beginning to place emphasis on artists’ work and artists are inclined to receive recognition in their period for they can be best understood by contemporaries.

Likewise, achievement in business and sport, obviously, prove the greatness of the businessmen and athletes. In the business world, nothing can be more indispensable than earning more money. Making more profit, from the beginning, is the terminal aim of a successful company. It is decided by the essence of the commerce itself. The greatness of a great businessman is embodied by the management and leading ability as well as his wise judgment on the market. The direct result of the sagacious management is the popularity of the mass and the money it earned. When it comes to sport, nothing could be better than a gold medal for an excellent athlete. When Liu Xiang won the 110meter high hurdles championship, the whole world cheer for him and his country, and instantly he became a hero in China. The medal was the best proof of his greatness. Contemporaries easily understand the two kinds of people's success.

Opposite to art and business world, great discoveries and inventions generally experience a long period of time to be recognized by most individuals. Scientific researches are generally beyond ordinary men's understanding abilities and scientific cutting-edge fruit is difficult for people to accept because they are usually far from people's life which can best be explained by the example of the general and special theory of relativity raised by Einstein. Up to today, the number of the experts who can understand this theory can be counted. Besides, some theories wait to be qualified by time and more proofs. A conclusion which seems right today at certain circumstance may be questioned tomorrow by more strict situations. What science pursues is accuracy. There is no wonder greatness in scientific field are always admitted by generations afterward.

To sum up, contemporaries have opportunities to know the great men in person more understandably for they share the same period whereas people living after them can judge the greatness in a historical prospective. Nevertheless, real gold remain in the fire. The great things, down to the earth, are not determined by people's opinions but it stays forever.

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发表于 2006-2-17 09:33:51 |只看该作者
文章开头说了支持前者,反对后者
BODY的第三段又说了支持后者...所以最好在开头的主题里面也有所体现,比如说在很多领域如何,在一些个别方面情况不禁相同
结尾最好也再对题目总结一些,稍微延伸是可以,但还是要扣一扣题目
语言方面不多说了,偶也不是高手

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发表于 2006-2-17 21:21:43 |只看该作者

谢谢咯!我再改改!

留下你的贴,我去学习!

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发表于 2006-2-18 11:02:22 |只看该作者

顶~

很完善了~

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RE: issue36 改了下 这次只支持一种 [修改]

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issue36 改了下 这次只支持一种
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