issue130 how 孩子社会化决定更好的未来.

koryUID: 2123975

TOPIC：ISSUE 130 - "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."
WORDS：530          TIME：0:45:00          DATE：2002-6-27

本来想写outline，但是。。。怕写了就又不想贴来了

How children are socialized today may have some influence on the future society, it is also true that we have not found out the best way of education yet. However, life can be better than the assertion suggests. Even if we cannot raise children directly into people that can help bring about a better society, we still feel satisfied and happy simply by watching them grow.

I concede that children will grow up into adults and take hold of the society, how they socialized today might influence their method of merging into the society. If they are trained to work together cooperatively in their childhood, they are more likely to show tolerance and patient in future life career. However, we should have some faith in the heir of our society.

Too much worry about the future is not that necessary. We do not know the most efficient and proper way of education since the word education has been invented. But history of human beings shows that our society does not go down in any chance. In the contrary, we are being better and better. So it is not that necessary to worry about our future. Besides, putting all the pressure on the next generation cannot help on forming a new society.

Many people like the author, believes that we can only improve our society and living condition by better shaping our next generation. Accordingly, they tried, or experiment to--be more precisely, every new way on children they can think to make them into people that in their mind could be better citizens of society. But against their will, children today seem to be more troublesome for them than before. They cannot stand that kids eating in the hall way, they cannot anticipate abstract drawing on painting class, they cannot allow them more free time on the worry about that they might be too free to be good. All these worries are just stupid. Kids should have their life more easily. They should be allowed to do what they want. Better society needs not only good student, but also alive spirits and warm hearts--which are less emphasized in today's education system.

More over, the society is ruled by every one of today, even in the future, the main roles in the society are still more likely played by older people of this generation. Which means, the power of society does not hand strict from adults today to adults tomorrow.

And we should not forget, having kids, making them educated, is not on the purpose of having a better society, but for that we want to have them, and make them happy. Seeing children happily grown into people they want to be, is more important for parents than shaping them into 'just someone who can improve the society'. And children themselves will want a better life as we do--as we are all human beings--they will bring about a better society on their own will.

To sum up, it is not necessary to worry too much about the children, they are humans too, and they will try to improve the world on their own will even without our guidance.

[ 本帖最后由 kory 于 2006-2-19 17:33 编辑 ]

koryUID: 2123975

倾情奉上自改版, 修改评价的话, 改第二个版本吧~~~修正了一些问题和用句.

蓝色为修改部分, 黑色为原来的保留部分-----看起来改了不少哈= =|||


How children are socialized today may have some influence on the future society, it is also true that we have not found out the best way of education yet. However, life can be better than the assertion suggests. Even if we cannot raise children directly into people that can help bring about a better society, we still feel satisfied and happy simply by watching them grow.

I concede that children will grow up into adults and take hold of the society, how they socialized today might influence their method of merging into the society. If they are trained to work together cooperatively in their childhood, they are more likely to show tolerance and patient in future life career, and have better adjustment in teamwork. However, we should have some faith in the heir of our society.

Too much worry about the future is not that necessary. We do not know the most efficient and proper way of education since the word education has been invented. But history of human beings shows that our society has not gone down in any chance. In contrary, [color= blue]our society is becoming better and better. So it is not that necessary to worry about [color= blue]how should we socialize children on the social level.. Besides, putting all the pressure on the next generation cannot help on forming a new society.

Many people like the author, believes that we can only improve our society and living condition by better shaping our next generation. Accordingly, they tried, or [color= blue] experiment—to be more precisely, every new way on children they can think [color= blue]of, to [color= blue]sculpture them into people that in their mind could be better citizens. But against their will, children today seem to be more troublesome [color= blue](omit “for them” ) than before. [color= blue]They emphasize their uniqueness more than any generations: they keen on handle programs on their own, which contribute to the self confidence; they behave rebelliously and uncooperatively in a group to gain others attention. All these above seem to be nightmares of educators that try their best to get them socialized. But they have not realized that it is their harsh hope of get children unified, which actually act against their will, and attribute to all the struggle of students to get themselves special and different from others. Kids should have their life more easily. They should be allowed to do what they want. Better society needs not only good student, but also alive spirits and warm hearts--which are less emphasized in [color= blue]the mission of socialization.

[color= blue]More over, how children are socialized depends more on the present society they are living in. Values of teamwork, tolerance, patients and so forth are acquired by merging in a society of that character, not by learning them in text book but seeing the opposite in real life. Therefore, the mission of forming a better society as well as getting children benignly socialized is on the shoulder of present generation, not the next one.

[color= blue]Even more, the society is ruled by [color= blue] leaders of today, even in the future, the main roles in the society are still more likely [color= blue]to be played by older people of this generation, which means, the power of society does not hand strictly from adults today to [color= blue]adults tomorrow—children of today. Hereby, the destiny of society does not depend only on children.

There is something more we should not forget, having kids, getting them educated, is not [color= blue]just on the purpose of having a better society, but for that we want to have them, [color= blue]cherish them, and make them happy. Seeing [color= blue]them happily grown [color= blue]up into people [color= blue]thatthey [color= blue]dreamed to be, is more important for parents[color= blue]( omit “than shaping them into ‘just someone who can improve the society’. ”). Besides children themselves will [color= blue]desire a better life [color= blue]the same as we do--as we are all human beings--they will bring about a better society on their own will.

To sum up, [color= blue]how children are socialized today might influence the destiny of society, yet we do not have to worry too much about how to raise them into people that can bring about a better society. They will learn how just in the benign society formed by us, also, they would want to improve it due to their own wish.

thumitUID: 2131186

How children are socialized today may have some influence on the future society, and it is also true that we have not found out the best way of education yet. However, life can be better than the assertion suggests. Even if we cannot raise children directly into people that can help bring about a better society, we still feel satisfied and happy simply by watching them grow.

I concede that children will grow up into adults and take hold of the society, and? how they are socialized today might influence their method of merging into the society. If they are trained to work together cooperatively in their childhood, they are more likely to show tolerance and patient patience in future life career, and have better adjustment in teamwork. However, we should have some faith 这个是不是用作信心的意思，觉得这儿似乎有点不合适 in the heir of our society.
这段让步说How children are socialized today may have some influence on the future society

Too much worry about the future is not that so necessary. We do not know the most efficient and proper way of education since the word education has been invented.这句的时态好像有问题，为什么要用现在完成时呢？ But history of human beings shows that our society has not gone down in any chance.这个似乎有点绝对了，还有go down是什么意思？退步吗？如果这样理解的话社会在某些时候还是在退步的，进步我觉得只是一个整体上的趋势 In contrary,如果是表达正相反的意思，似乎应该是on the contrary our society is becoming better and better. So it is not that that不可以做副词，换成so比较好 necessary to worry about how should we socialize children on the social level.. Besides, putting all the pressure on the next generation cannot help on forming a new society.最后一个besides似乎有点突兀，这里的all这个意思来的太突然

Many people like the author, believes believe that we can only improve our society and living condition by better shaping our next generation.作者有这个观点吗？only用的太绝对了 Accordingly, they tried, or experiment experimented?—to be more precisely, every new way on children they can think of, to sculpture them into people that in their mind could be better citizens. But against their will, children today seem to be more troublesome (omit “for them” ) than before. They emphasize their uniqueness more than any generations predecessor好一点，你又不知道后面的情况: they keen on handle programs on their own, which contribute to the self confidence; they behave rebelliously and uncooperatively in a group to gain others others' attention. All these above seem to be nightmares of educators that try their best to get them socialized. But they have not realized that it is their harsh hope of get children unified, which actually act against their will, and attribute to all the struggle of students to get themselves special and different from others. Kids should have their life more easily should have a easier life是不是好点. They should be allowed to do what they want to. Better society needs not only good student, but also alive spirits and warm hearts--which are less emphasized in the mission of socialization.
这一段似乎只在最后提到了一点socialization，整个看下来还是讲education比较多。当然，可以说这是对于作者问题的延伸，但是我觉得开始说作者的观点就有点问题。

More over我还查了一下，好像没有这两个词一起的用法，应该是Moreover，好像改过好多词了：）, how children are socialized depends more on the present society they are living in. Values of teamwork, tolerance, patients and so forth are acquired by merging in a society of that character, not by learning them in text book but seeing the opposite in real life. Therefore, the mission of forming a better society as well as getting children benignly socialized is on the shoulder of present generation, not the next one.
这个speaker也没有说任务在下一代啊，作者说的正是现在如何做的问题，还是在当前这一代的。而且我不太看得出这一段和上一段有递进关系

Even more, the society is ruled by leaders of today, even in the future, the main roles in the society are still more likely to be played by older people of this generation,现在的roles不也是比较老的人嘛，不太好说服人 which means, the power of society does not hand strictly from adults today to adults tomorrow—children of today.这些孩子将来总是要掌权的嘛 Hereby, the destiny of society does not depend only on children.最后一句话我觉得可以由此拓宽下去，不仅仅由儿童决定，还由其它什么决定呢？但是这一段前面的内容好像没有看出与这句话有直接的关系

There is something more we should not forget,: having kids, getting them educated, is not just on the purpose of having a better society, but for that we want to have them, cherish them, and make them happy. Seeing them happily grown up into people thatthey dreamed to be, is more important for parents( omit “than shaping them into ‘just someone who can improve the society’. ”). Besides children themselves will desire a better life the same as we do--as we are all human beings--they will bring about a better society on their own will.
这一段写的比较在理：）

To sum up, how children are socialized today might influence the destiny of society, yet we do not have to worry too much about how to raise them into people that can bring about a better society. They will learn how just in the benign society formed by us, also, they would want to improve it due to their own wish.
1。觉得最后几段的观点在结尾段中都没有提到。其实可以按照结尾段的意思写提纲。从讲教育那一段之后的内容我觉得写的有点乱。也许你把提纲列出来后我会看得更加清楚些：）

2。这题太难写了！我题目中的逻辑关系都不太理的清，所以可能就觉得写出来的文章也很难理清。都是个人意见：）

3。Moreover应该不可以写作More over吧

4。有些句子注意连词的连接啊！觉得有的句子都是看到一个句子中有两个独立的句子。

[ 本帖最后由 thumit 于 2006-2-19 22:06 编辑 ]

koryUID: 2123975

唉， 都是修改版了还这么多问题，只能说明题目变态！！