Argument145 我的第一篇不限时，请狠拍，三月中旬考。

lazzycatUID: 205352

145.A new study collected data that shows that people who snore are more likely to gain weight than are people who do not snore. It is well known that many people who snore also stop breathing frequently during the night for a few seconds, a condition called sleep apnea. The interruption of breathing wakes the person—often so briefly that the waking goes unnoticed—and can leave the person too tired during the day to exercise. Anyone who snores, therefore, should try to eat less than the average person and to exercise more.

提纲：
1、打鼾增加体重并不代表平时就需要少吃。少吃不一定能解决问题。
2、打鼾时呼吸暂停从而弄醒睡梦中的人并不能说明白天就会感到疲惫。没有证据证明这一点。
3、即使打鼾时有一段时间的呼吸暂停现象并且会使人感到疲惫，也不能说明这个人就白天就不会锻炼。更何况，按作者这么说，夜里打鼾的人本来就很累了，白天再多锻炼，那就会更累，对身体不好。
4、许多人有打鼾时出现呼吸暂停现象。后来作者建议所有打鼾的人都最好多锻炼。这里许多并不能代表所有。


The recommendation that anyone who snores should try to eat less and exercise more seems at first glance to be an obvious conclusion. However, the author fails to recognize all the elements necessary to support his advice.  There are at least four critical flaws in the argument.

First, it cannot deduce from the new study that anyone who snores should try to eat less and exercise more.  The study, which merely shows that people snoring might become fatter, does not point out the reason why snore causes fat.  It is possible that when people snore, some kind of hormone would be produced, which might make people gain weight, no matter how much he eats and how much exercise he does.  Or perhaps it is entirely because of inheritance, so eating less would take no effect.

Second, there is no evidence presented that sleep apnea will wake a person and thus leave the person too tired during the day.  Even if sleep apnea do wake a person, however, the evidence in itself does not suffice to prove that this unnoticed waking will let a person tired during the day.  The author must provide forceful evidence to bolster his standpoint.

In addition, do you always stop exercising when you are not sleeping well in the night?  I am not.  Even if sleep apnea will make the person tired, the author unfairly concludes that the person doesn’t exercise during the day. What’s more, the suggestion the author given that people who snore should exercise more is obviously unreasonable.  Without enough rest, excessive exercise may weaken a person’s health.

Finally, the author simply equates many people with the whole people.  Many people snoring may have a few seconds’ interruption of breathing, which will wake them and leave them too tired to exercise does not indicate that anyone who snores will feel tired too and should do more exercise.  There still exist many people who snore but do not have the symptom of sleep apnea.  Therefore, they will not feel tired during the day and needn’t to exercise more.  Here, the author makes a false analogy.

In a sum, the recommendation that people snoring should eat less and exercise more is groundless, oversimplified and unwarranted.  To make it more convincing, the author would have to provide more information and data to support his thesis.

lazzycatUID: 205352

ibflyUID: 2137229

The recommendation that anyone who snores should try to eat less and exercise more seems at first glance to be an obvious conclusion. However, the author fails to recognize all the elements necessary to support his advice. (这句话好象有点问题,怎么解释?) There are at least four critical flaws in the argument.

First, it cannot deduce(主语不应该是it吧,是author) from the new study that anyone who snores should try to eat less and exercise more.  The study, which merely shows that people snoring might become fatter, does not point out the reason why snore causes fat.  (why不需要解释吧,我们似乎应该质疑是否能得到snore causes fat个结论,而不是为什么会得到,作者可以不知道为什么,只要他有证据证明是有这样的现象就可以.我们应该反驳他的证据)It is possible that when people snore, some kind of hormone would be produced, which might make people gain weight, no matter how much he eats and how much exercise he does.  Or perhaps it is entirely because of inheritance, so eating less would take no effect.

Second, there is no evidence presented that sleep apnea will wake a person and thus leave the person too tired during the day.  Even if sleep apnea do(does) wake a person, however, the evidence in itself does not suffice to prove that this unnoticed waking will let a person tired during the day.  The author must provide forceful evidence to bolster his standpoint.

In addition, do you always stop exercising when you are not sleeping well in the night?  I am not. (这个好象最好不要用,看起来太唐突了,毕竟这是学术性文章,这样的第一,二人称不适合) Even if sleep apnea will make the person tired, the author unfairly concludes that the person doesn’t exercise during the day. What’s more, the suggestion the author given that people who snore should exercise more is obviously unreasonable.  Without enough rest, excessive exercise may weaken a person’s health.

Finally, the author simply equates many people with the whole people.  That Many people snoring may have a few seconds’ interruption of breathing, which will wake them and leave them too tired to exercise ,does not indicate that anyone who snores will (also)feel tired (too) and should do more exercise.  There still exists many people who snore but do not have the symptom of sleep apnea.  (Therefore, they will not feel tired during the day and needn’t to exercise more.感觉有点多余,且这样推仿佛正好包含了论者犯的错误)  Here, the author makes a false analogy.(这个论点很好啊,没想到)

In a sum, the recommendation that people snoring should eat less and exercise more is groundless, oversimplified and unwarranted.  To make it more convincing, the author would have to provide more information and data to support his thesis.

总体感觉思路还是清晰的,只是各段分析的都太少,因而显得不够透彻,加油啊!

[ 本帖最后由 ibfly 于 2006-2-19 22:21 编辑 ]

lazzycatUID: 205352

谢谢啦！
我再思考思考，收获不小。
以后再找你互改。呵呵，不要嫌我水平低哦！