argument147 第一次用ＰＰ３限时＋修改 回拍留连接(sally)

sallyxinduUID: 2131253

147The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.
'Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months.'

1,调查是否有说明性，对象是不是购买的潜在对象，如果不是，他们的回答无意义
2，即使这些人的回答可以参照，但是，他们喜欢生动图象的游戏不表示生动游戏是他们选择的唯一标准，还包括刺激性，内容，价格等等
3，广告针对10-25岁的人群，他们喜欢完游戏但会买吗？即使他们会买，他们是否又喜欢这种游戏呢？当初调查的对象不是针对他们，所以有可能他们根本不喜欢这种游戏。

In the editorial, the auger put forward a selling reverse of games from bleak to posperous. At first blush the argument seems to be plausible in light of some premises the arguer presents to back up his ratiocination, such as a survey conducted among players, the company’s advertising campaign to lure players and so forth. Upon a closer scrutiny, however, some fallacies hidden in the argument will betray the writer's reasoning in that he fail to take into consideration other factors which may bear the immediate interest to the underlying occasion of the success of the reverse.

The threshold question is that the survey is open to doubt in terms of its accurency and credibility. Consider, if the whole population participated in the study is only 5, then even all of them show a preference to games wiht vivid graphics speaks nothing in that the investigated population is too samll to carry any weight. What's more, the author does not mention where the survey is carried out. If it is done withiin just a small scope, the result is not representive to represent the overall players attitude towared the video games with lifelike graphics. In short, without justifying the dependability of the survey, the writer cannot convince us that chances are that Whirlwind would win over the market of video games.

In the second place, even assuming that all the players favor games with lifelike pictures, the arguer makes another false scenario that graphics bear the immediate interest to people’s determination when buy games. Rather, the pictures are not exclusively attributable to the conclusion that more people will buy this kind of video games. There still lies the likelihood that other factors, for example,the stimulation, price, content of the games and so on , could have bearings on potential players' determination also. In most events, it's highly possible that a game with attracting graphics but having inferior content could not be dominant in the market.  Consequently, the author's conclusion is based on such an unwarranted assumption that it renders the argument unconvincing.

What's more, when it comes to the advertisement. Concession granted that people of ten to twenty five years old stand more chance to like games, it is still untenable whether they could buy those games, since the possibility existes that they only play games in the internet bar or rent, or borrow games from others instead of buying them. If this turns out to be the case, it's too harsh to aim at this age group as the potential buyers. Deep down. even assuming that they would buy games as long as they like, the arguer still fails to furnish us with a shred of evidence to demonstrate that these teenagers like games with lifelike graphics. Since there is no evidence to bespeak that the above-mentioned survey is conducted within these teenagers. It cannot be denied that it’s possible that the participators in the survey include no teenagers who are considered to be the target of the advertisement. With regard to this, we have good reasons to doubt that the advertisement would win Whirlwind profit.

In sum. having viewed all the aspects above, we do not feel difficult to draw the conclusion that the ratiocination is logically flawed and therefore unconvincing as it stands. In oreder to make a convincing analysis, it's highly recommeded that the writer  validate the credibility of the survey, take into account other alternatives that might  affect playeres' preference and the relation between people of 10 to 25 years old and participants in the survey.

宝贝小猪UID: 2135340

In the editorial, the auger put forward a selling reverse of games from bleak to posperous. At first blush（我没有看到过这样的用法，是和at first glance意思一样的么） the argument seems to be plausible in light of some premises the arguer presents to back up his ratiocination, such as a survey conducted among players, the company’s advertising campaign to lure players and so forth. Upon a closer scrutiny, however, some fallacies hidden in the argument will betray（被判这个词不好吧？） the writer's reasoning in that he fail to take into consideration other factors which may bear the immediate interest to the underlying occasion of the success of the reverse.

The threshold question is that the survey is open to doubt in terms of its accurency and credibility. Consider, if the whole population participated in the study is only 5, then even all of them show a preference to games wiht vivid graphics speaks nothing in that the investigated population is too samll to carry any weight. What's more, the author does not mention where the survey is carried out. If it is done withiin just a small scope, the result is not representive to represent the overall players attitude towared the video games with lifelike graphics. In short, without justifying the dependability of the survey, the writer cannot convince us that chances are that Whirlwind would win over the market of video games.

In the second place, even assuming that all the players favor games with lifelike pictures, the arguer makes another false scenario that graphics bear the immediate interest to people’s determination when buy games. Rather, the pictures are not exclusively attributable to the conclusion that more people will buy this kind of video games. There still lies the likelihood that other factors, for example,the stimulation, price, content of the games and so on , could have bearings on potential players' determination also. In most events, it's highly possible that a game with attracting graphics but having inferior content could not be dominant in the market.  Consequently, the author's conclusion is based on such an unwarranted assumption that it renders the argument unconvincing.

What's more, when it comes to the advertisement. Concession granted that people of ten to twenty five years old stand more chance to like games, it is still untenable whether they could buy those games, since the possibility existes that they only play games in the internet bar or rent, or borrow games from others instead of buying them. If this turns out to be the case, it's too harsh to aim at this age group as the potential buyers. Deep down. even assuming that they would buy games as long as they like, the arguer still fails to furnish us with a shred of evidence to demonstrate that these teenagers like games with lifelike graphics. Since there is no evidence to bespeak that the above-mentioned survey is conducted within these teenagers. It cannot be denied that it’s possible that the participators in the survey include no teenagers who are considered to be the target of the advertisement. With regard to this, we have good reasons to doubt that the advertisement would win Whirlwind profit.

In sum. having viewed all the aspects above, we do not feel difficult to draw the conclusion that the ratiocination is logically flawed and therefore unconvincing as it stands. In oreder to make a convincing analysis, it's highly recommeded that the writer  validate the credibility of the survey, take into account other alternatives that might  affect playeres' preference and the relation between people of 10 to 25 years old and participants in the survey.

看你的文章怎地不知道改什么，你还让我给你改，我简直就是在欣赏
不过有一个建议我也是从别人哪里看到的
就是攻击错误的时候不要第一个就攻击survey，第一个攻击agument的前提
这个是最重要的
不过我对攻击顺序还是不太了解……