ISSUE41

rankexin1985228UID: 2182534

ISSUE41 - "Such nonmainstream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits play a vital role in society by satisfying human needs that are not addressed by mainstream science."
提纲：1 主流科学基本上满足了我们的物质需求
2 解释精神需求比物资需求更重要和为什么人们需要通过非主流领域来获得满足
3 人们好奇心的满足很多是通过非主流领域来实现的

With the increasing demand of spirit, there are more and more people begin to concern the issue that such nonmainstream areas play a more important role about the satisfying human needs than mainstream science. For me, I cannot disagree with the statement mentioned above, for we usually have more concern ourselves destiny and need of spirit by ways of nonmainstream.

First of all, I have to admit that the mainstream sciences satisfy our much demand, especially considering in material. For example, the development of financial scientifically theory bring us increasing wealth so that we have more freedom to decide our lifestyle, in which there are incredible change than ever before. Moreover, the leader of IT industry, Bill Cates, create a miracle of wealth, who have get the No 1 of Roosevelt wealth evaluation last 12 years. The Microsoft utilize its technology conquer computer market of whole world where all most computer have the sign--- Inter inside. Due to these and other developments we live more comfortable and convenient than any time before, which solve our much need of material to some degree. But the need of spirit how can we solve?

As is known to all, the need of spirit become increasing important and crucial problem, which due to the survey, made by famous sociologist in Harvard University, show that the 70 percent of people in American feel their need of spirit cannot satisfied more or less comparative with the 20 percent of material and we are hardly to depend on the mainstream science to solve our need of spirit. There are many nonmainstream science make a supplement such as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal, which offer some special ways to solve the problem or question such as what is my future, who is my wife or husband and so on. In view of these problem cannot be answered precisely and fully solved depend on power of science, so we have to seek anther help to unnatural power that never be proved by mainstream science, which is a reason why so many people have a willingness to believe the astrology not the scientifically analysis. This would go long way to example why every country gives a right that the freedom of trusting religion.

Furthermore，the nonmainstream areas provide more possibilities to meet our curiosity, for some facts or phenomena cannot be explained though the mainstream science. For supporting example one need no further than Pyramid in Egypt. The construct of Pyramid make people surprised even there is no reason that can lend people believe that the great building is made by people in the past thousands years. There are many people believe the masterpiece is posed by out space creatures. These are many assumptions about it, but no any concrete evidence provided to support any one of these. Therefore, the more mystical things can entice more people study it no matter what the way of approaching. Only though this way that depends on nonmainstream areas can we hope to solve so many questions so that meet our increasing curiosity.

To sum up, although the mainstream science is necessary to meet our material need to some degree, the spiritual need, what is more, play a more important role in current era. Without the help of nonmainstream areas, we may live in a word where have more questions and quandaries.

[ 本帖最后由 staralways 于 2006-3-17 11:56 编辑 ]

亟沣UID: 2193237

With the increasing demand of spirit, there are more and more people begin to concern the issue that such nonmainstream areas play a more important role about the (about the---in?) satisfying human needs than mainstream science. For me (In my observation….之类), I cannot disagree (有点中国英语，直接说agree) with the statement mentioned above, for (表示原因的词语很多，要习惯用其他的, 或者个说on the basis that, 甚至原因可以另外一句去说) we usually have more concern (about) ourselves (our) destiny and need of spirit by ways of nonmainstream. （可以说resort to non-mainstream）

First of all, I have to admit that the mainstream sciences satisfy our much (你是想说most of our么？) demand, especially considering in material. For example, the development of financial scientifically (scientific?) theory bring (brings) us increasing wealth so that we have more freedom to decide our lifestyle, (, 去掉) in which there are incredible change (changes) than ever before. Moreover, the leader of IT industry, Bill Cates, create a miracle of wealth, who have get the No 1 of Roosevelt wealth evaluation last 12 years. (这个定语从句应该放在BILL GATES的后面，而不能放在wealth的后面) The Microsoft utilize its technology conquer (utilize 和conquer两个动词怎么可以放在一起？) computer market of whole world where all most (almost?) computer have the sign--- Inter inside. Due to these and other developments (,)  we live more comfortable and convenient than any time before, which solve our much need of material to some degree. But the need of spirit how can we solve?

As is known to all, the need of spirit become increasing important and crucial problem, which due to the survey, made by famous sociologist in Harvard University, show that the 70 percent of people in American feel their need of spirit cannot satisfied more or less comparative with the 20 percent of material and we are hardly to depend on the mainstream science to solve our need of spirit. There are many nonmainstream science make a supplement such as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal, which offer some special ways to solve the problem or question such as what is my future, who is my wife or husband and so on. In view of these problem cannot be answered precisely and fully solved depend on power of science, so we have to seek anther help to unnatural power that never be proved by mainstream science, which is a reason why so many people have a willingness to believe the astrology not the scientifically analysis. This would go long way to example why every country gives a right that the freedom of trusting religion.

Furthermore，the nonmainstream areas provide more possibilities to meet our curiosity, for some facts or phenomena cannot be explained though the mainstream science. For supporting example one need no further than Pyramid in Egypt. The construct of Pyramid make people surprised even there is no reason that can lend people believe that the great building is made by people in the past thousands years. There are many people believe the masterpiece is posed by out space creatures. These are many assumptions about it, but no any concrete evidence provided to support any one of these. Therefore, the more mystical things can entice more people study it no matter what the way of approaching. Only though this way that depends on nonmainstream areas can we hope to solve so many questions so that meet our increasing curiosity.

To sum up, although the mainstream science is necessary to meet our material need to some degree, the spiritual need, what is more, play a more important role in current era. Without the help of nonmainstream areas, we may live in a word where have more questions and quandaries.

朋友，很抱歉没给你改完。
你的语言问题有些大，先不说文章的逻辑，语法还有词汇的运用都有一定的问题。这篇文章本身也不是很好写的一篇issue。建议你去多看些范文，熟悉一些句型的使用。不要勉强自己去写一些长难的句子。我个人觉得，虽然说GRE要求语言方面要有一些学术性的感觉，但是，写对了总比写错了好。为了写难句反而写错了，还不如简简单单表达你的意思，清楚明了，也会很不错。

另外下次贴作文前可以尝试自己改一下里面的语法错误，以后便可以多多避免。

文章的结构问题不是很大，相信你的逻辑不是问题，更多的是语言无法表达。所以还要多看多练，加油:victory: