issue38 14号就考了 就这水平.....

boyifiveUID: 2106126

TOPIC: ISSUE38 - "In the age of television, reading books is not as important as it once was. People can learn as much by watching television as they can by reading books."
WORDS: 429         TIME: 1:00:00          DATE: 2006-4-6
我快崩溃了 就是没话说呢 14号就考了 每天写来写去为什么觉得一点进步都没有, 而且限时不成功,恳请大家帮忙看看吧, 到底差哪儿呢....
In modern society, watching TV and reading book as means of gaining information and knowledge, each has its advantages. TV is highly popular and commonly media and enjoyment means; reading, as an effective and traditional means of gaining the knowledge never be ignored by people. I have to call the opinion that reading book is not as important as it once was question.

The civilization history of human being has pass several thousands of years, almost all knowledge that our ancestor cumulated is write on books. No matter how the society changes, we must depend on books to learn most knowledge. Books are the resource of knowledge. It is possible that we can change so many books into electric books and put them into a small chip or put books on the internet and read them by computer. All these just change the mode of reading, but it is just the point that carrying knowledge that the importance of books has not any changeable.

Due to as a important media that the TV has the advantage of convenient and directly to us, in such an information society its function can not be ignored. we are standing an age of information bombing, holding more information means more chance and more possible to success. So as a way of gaining information to everyone is necessarily. Every morning, when you get up, turn on the TV, you can know what happened in yesterday and the night that you were sleeping in every corner of the world.

However, as a media, TV's main function is recreation and transmit information, it is certainly that its contents is superficial, entertainment, and not so much deeply. Watching TV can give a sensory cognition to some things faster and more effective than reading books, because TV can offer us more colorful image and lively voice. TV obviously is more favor to accept for most people. But it doesn't mean that we needn't read books, many theory knowledge can be gained only by reading books.

To sum up, to the best of my belief that we require either reading books or watching TV due to each have its advantages. TV and books are not capable to win over each other, they are not capable to substitute each other, too. I think reading books and watching TV is two kinds of pleasure of entirely different that we should not miss.

[ 本帖最后由 staralways 于 2006-4-6 23:27 编辑 ]

期待飞翔UID: 2154585

boyifiveUID: 2106126

谢谢!!其实你说的问题我都有感觉, 我今天才试图限时,结果很慌张, 很多地方根本来不急思考, 感觉脑子一片空白的啥都没有了 怎么办 啊 我14号就靠了啊

huanxiong4903UID: 2121422

楼主，你放松，咱俩一天，我现在都没有限时成功过~~:L
一起加油~~

mbxuUID: 2120330

不才拍拍，共同学习


In modern society, watching TV and reading book as means of gaining information and knowledge, each has its advantages(s?). TV is highly popular and commonly media and enjoyment means;( 这里用however) reading, (此处不用逗号吧)as an effective and traditional means of gaining the knowledge never be ignored by people. I have to call the opinion that reading book is not as important as it once was question. (这句改为肯定句应该能把意思表达得更好）

The civilization history of human being has pass （ed） several thousands of years, （and）almost all knowledge that our ancestor cumulated is write（recorded） on books. No matter how the society changes, we must depend on books to learn most knowledge. Books are the resource of knowledge. It is possible that we can change so many books into electric books and put them into a small chip or put books on the internet and read them by computer. All these just change the mode of reading, but it is just the point that carrying knowledge that the importance of books has not any changeable.（这段可以分学科谈谈不同的知识被人们用书籍记载了下来，主要是说书籍是人类知识的重要载体，主旨要明确）

Due to as a important media that the TV has the advantage of convenient and directly to us, in such an information society its function can not be ignored. we are standing an age of information bombing, holding more information means more chance and more possible to success. So as a way of gaining information to everyone is necessarily. Every morning, when you get up, turn on the TV, you can know what happened in yesterday and the night that you were sleeping in every corner of the world.（这段有些散，建议重点阐释电视是一种新的信息载体，肯定电视的影响，可以举些例子说明电视可以快速地生动地传递信息，例如新闻，电视剧等）

However, as a media, TV's main function is recreation and transmit information, it is certainly that its contents is superficial, entertainment, and not so much deeply. Watching TV can give a sensory cognition to some things faster and more effective than reading books, because TV can offer us more colorful image and lively voice. TV obviously is more favor to accept for most people. But it doesn't mean that we needn't read books, many theory knowledge can be gained only by reading books. （这段是比较电视和书本的知识类型，论证不强，我也没有好的建议）

建议加一段，讨论电视不能代替书本，例如有的时候我们看了电视还要看书，比如说天龙八部，电视只能表现我们能看到的东西，而书本的一大优势是可以发挥人的想像，超越客观存在的表现形式。

To sum up, to the best of my belief that we require either reading books or watching TV due to each have its advantages. TV and books are not capable to win over each other, they are not capable to substitute each other, too. I think reading books and watching TV is two kinds of pleasure of entirely different that we should not miss.


有些地方时态和词性混了，主要还是没有把主旨句充分地展开论证。

boyifiveUID: 2106126

:(真是汗颜 不过真的谢谢大家, 让我真正意识到问题所在, 要崩溃了, 我看了好多别人的习作, 都写的很好,真的,至少都比我强, 根本没勇气拍,条理清楚用词恰当, 我常常想写成这样还用拍吗 那我咋办咧 拿快砖头把自己拍死算了....
逻辑混乱 我现在...

mundmoreUID: 2173048

总的来说，文章的结构很好：每个自然段讲一个方面）
构思很精妙：正反两方面相结合，避免了厚此薄彼没说透的嫌疑；
在结构方面肯定是一个很高的分数；
不足的地方：语言措词方面可以做得更好一些，比如主谓在单复数上的统一，名字的单复数（a media），呵呵，其实这也是我的 主要问题，哈哈。

给你的一个建议：在每个自然段的句首把该段的主题句给出来，这样的话，就算段落里面没有讲的那么清楚，也不会影响读者的理解。

我没有找到如何把修改的地方用不同字体显示，看的时候可能会让你辛苦，不好意思啊一些:)

最后祝福你！

In modern society, watching TV and reading books as means of gaining information and knowledge, each has its own advantages. TV, a common media and more enjoyment means, is highly popular today; reading, however, as an effective and traditional means of gaining knowledge, can never be ignored by people.

First of all, reading is a very important way by which people gain information and knowledge. The history of human civilization has lasted for several thousands of years by now, and almost all knowledge that our ancestor cumulated was written on books. Books are the source of knowledge. No matter how society changes, we can learn knowledge and get information from books. Today it is possible that we compress the contents of many books into electric books and store them in a small chip or put them on the Internet and read them with Browser. However, what we do just change the mode of reading and the importance of books in transferring knowledge has not changed at all.

In such an information society, TV, as an effective and convenient means of gaining information, can do a lot for learning. Compared with books, TV has the advantage of attracting the viewers’ attention through its live contents and real-time broadcast, and is becoming more and more popular today. We are experiencing an age of information bombing, and holding more information means more chance and more likely to success. So as a way of gaining information to everyone is necessarily. Every morning you turn on the TV, you can learn what happened yesterday in every corner of the world.

However, it does not mean that we need not read books any more. As media, TV’s main function is about recreation and information broadcast. It is certainly that its contents is superficial, entertainment, and not so much deeply. Watching TV can bring a sensory cognition on something faster and more effective than reading books, because TV can offer us more colorful image and lively voice and is preferred by most people. Yet, much theoretical knowledge cannot be gained by watching TV. In order to master those deeply theories, you cannot make it without reading related books.

To sum up, watching TV and reading books are two important means by which we learn.
The one cannot replace the other. In order to learn better, we require both reading books and watching TV due to each have its own advantages. Reading books and watching TV respectively bring us pleasure that we should not miss.

expire7UID: 2160574

已经那么多朋友拍了,我就不多说了
语法错误比较多,注意一下啊.不过可能是限时造成的.不要慌,来的及.而且考试一定不如平时写的好.只要用简单和朴实的词汇表达出来就成功一半了.
句子都比较段,尤其连续用短句时候注意连接词和时态.还有尽量用点长句.
尽力写到450吧.其实考试时候会不自觉多写的

boyifiveUID: 2106126

感动ing.. 谢谢大家! 我一定认真听取大家给我的宝贵建议, 发奋兔强!!!
这么久以来一直是孤军奋战的, 把习作贴过来也只是抱着试试看的想法的, 没想到有这么多朋友关注, 泪流满面啊.....

ivoristUID: 2149023

14号同考！加油！！

vivien19850826vUID: 2152556

同天的,一起加油

rabbit1860UID: 2136201

我的语言就是大白话……比LZ差多了
我有个思路是这样的
1）电视的优势
2）不能忽略读书的重要性，比电视更容易获得一些专业的只是
3）同时，我们也应该通过其他的媒体来获取只是。如Internet
不知道这样有没有什么问题啊？

boyifiveUID: 2106126

楼上的 我个人的感觉, 这个题是说电视和书的嘛 如果用一段来说其他的媒体可能有点跑题吧, 如果在论述中一笔带过当然就没问题的, 我今天也有这样的事 就是那个47题,说社会应该关注智力问题的, 我就忍不住一定要写写我对于社会同样不关注非智力因素这个问题的看法...我晕1我简直都控制不住我自己, 感觉好容易看到个题有点想说的话,管它贴不贴题的一定要写!!
干脆贴出来好了, 是issue47,限时依然不成功...
47"Society does not place enough emphasis on the intellect—that is, on reasoning and other cognitive skills

I am inclined to agree the society does not place enough emphasis on the intellect factor, moreover, for the non-intellect factor, the situation is the same. One's general development spills over the intellect factor into the non-intellect factor. Individuals' favorable development makes the decisive function to the development of whole society.

Throughout the almost perfect educational system, it is seemingly that society highly focuses on individuals developed in the part of intellect. However, existing discipline is that wholly depends on the exam-electing, the rigidity exam principle make many younkers become "high score but low ability". It is afraid of difficult to say such person is who our society wants to attain. We need not the persons who is good at examine while go out of exam-room, he knew nothing almost. Contemporary society, competence is drastic to everyone, it is not egregious to say now our life and working like in the battlefield, the ability of examine is absolutely unmeaning to us, the battling ability is what we require really!

Furthermore, One's intellect is a generation of many factors, such as reasoning, cognitive skills, and memory ability. All these ability is very tight related to one younker’s future life and working. Today, in such a fasting pacing society, human being's knowledge change with each passing day, to some extent, the requiring of people to not only knowledge but also skill which attained knowledge  is entirely differently comparing today with 10 years ago. But let us see the elementary school textbooks today, all contents nearly same as when I was a elementary school student 15years ago! As the most important means and place-education and school is too stagnancy to keep their pace to whole society. How can people such a society satisfy to the society?

Meanwhile, comparing the intellect factors, the no less important non-intellect factors obviously be ignored by our society. Non-intellect factors, we also call EQ- emotional quality, which mainly include independence, creativity, confidence, self-cognition and so on. Because in the aspect of intellect, most of us is equal, actually, really different between one and another, is everyone’s EQ. EQ decide the way of one think and solve problems, there is ever a researching about how much  effect the EQ to a one' success: researchers observe about 50 high-IQ children that are considered genius for 30 years, not so much of them success as public think, which results show most children that their talent has not necessary connection with whether he can success or not, while higher-EQ even is really deserved reason for who attain success. So, to the best of my belief, society should place emphasis on the intellect and the non-intellect.

To sum up, I have fully embracing the belief that our society does not place enough emphasis on the intellect. Individuals compose the society, individuals' better development is concrete base for our society. So society should run the whole gamut of developing individuals' intellect, of course, and part of non-intellect.

qiaowenqianUID: 2116780

LZ加油啊
我11号~~