TOPIC166

czj_swufeUID: 199954

Topic 166 by czj_swufe     Words: 360   Time: 42
People recognize a difference between children and adults. What events (experiences or ceremonies) make a person an adult? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your answer.

Outline:
1.        To state my opinion. (list some events which will be discussed below )
2.        More details about the events and why they are important to recognize a difference between children and adults.(3 paragraphs)                                                                  
a. doing housework→know the meaning of life self-independent  b. 18-year-old birthday→be responsible for what they do  c. studying → learn how to be an adult
3.  To sum up.

A child can be very different from an adult. So how to distinguish a child from an adult? Events such as doing housework, having 18-year-old birthday party and going study outside may give us some criteria.

In the first place, doing housework will make a child self-independent. As self-independence is one of the most important characters of an adult, doing housework such as cleaning the house which is your mother’s work before, doing the laundries which you never thought about when you were having your dirty clothes throw all around your bedroom, and washing dishes which you recognized as your sister’s duty will give you special experiences and will make you understand the meaning of life, that every little thing that should be done every day. So, as a criterion of self-independence, doing housework can make a child an adult to some extent.

In the second place, having an 18-year-old birthday party will indicate your stepping into the group of adults. For example, in China, after having 18-year-old birthday party, you can have your ID card to show that you have the ability to be responsible for whatever you do. It’s a boundary between a child and an adult which is recognized by the whole society. Thus, as a criterion of self-responsibility, having 18-year-old birthday party is a paramount way to be an adult.

In the third place, going study outside can give you a chance to learn ways of how to be an adult. As the saying goes, knowledge is power. With the knowledge we learn from classes, we know how to feed ourselves in society; with the work we do as a team with others, we understand we should work together to achieve our goals; with the exercises we take , we can finally have a body strong enough to go for any challenge. From this aspect, going study outside is also crucial to get a child an adult.

To sum up, doing housework, having 18-year-old birthday party and going study outside are extremely important to be an adult. We should put them into practice in order to be an eligible adult.

czj_swufeUID: 199954

xizzhuUID: 2195156

第一个EVENT--doing homework 本身不充分.  simply speaking, when you were 12 years old, you did your homework by your own.   but this event (doing homework) cannot make you an adult, you were still a kid, a 12 years old kid.

the rest of your essay is good.

here is mine:  
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

[ 本帖最后由 xizzhu 于 2006-4-18 02:49 编辑 ]

susan8940UID: 160449

语言简洁准确,有些句子写得很好,值得我学习啊
结构上也比较规范
不过每段开头的in the x place可以适当换成比如in addition,besides,what's more
,finally,also..一时只想到这些:)
我的不太切题,修改中,欢迎赐教
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

czj_swufeUID: 199954

原帖由 susan8940 于 2006-4-19 16:41 发表
语言简洁准确,有些句子写得很好,值得我学习啊
结构上也比较规范
不过每段开头的in the x place可以适当换成比如in addition,besides,what's more
,finally,also..一时只想到这些:)
我的不太切题,修改中,欢迎赐 ...

谢谢，已回拍;)