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[求助] topic14 30分钟 [复制链接]

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楼主
发表于 2006-4-25 06:21:33 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
Whether university students should be required to attend classes or not has triggered vehement debates among professors, scholars as well as sociologists. According to me, specific case demands specific solution. When considering this question, students ‘various knowledge levels and the differences of courses should be taken into account.

Students in a university, as the focus of this discussion, usually come from different areas with varieties of knowledge backgrounds. Some possess strong skills to learn on their own and grasp knowledge much more quickly than others. They may show intense interest in a specific field. Thus, they require large time input to conduct the research they are interested in. Once such kind of genius students have been discovered, schools should bear any risks to encourage them to continue their study without asking them to attend classes, which would exploit their time to do what they really like and with great potential to succeed in that field. (还可加上爱迪生和比尔盖茨的例子)

Since students’ knowledge background vary considerably within a university, certain fundamental courses must be designed so as to cultivate them to meet the minimum standard as a university students, who, in some degree, symbolize a country’s knowledge and civilization level. For example, language courses based on international requirements should require all students to take. How can university students come into the society after graduation without a basic mastering of the communication skills with foreigners in such a globalization period?

All in all, we should consider the idea whether or not require students to attend class flexibly. Situations vary from students to students for their ability and potential to learn and achieve success differ. Besides, some basic courses should demand attendants of all students to unify different students’ knowledge level as well as meeting the standards as university students set by our society.

30分钟内完成,不折不扣,没修改,字数只有300,自知理亏,大家给点建议。求证,结构,语言?

晚上还要重写一篇。谢谢
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沙发
发表于 2006-4-25 11:44:26 |只看该作者
一些拙见,如果说得不对请楼主见谅
两个论述短的结构,说实话我读的不是很明白
从第一段看来,specific case demands specific solution使整篇文章的中心,读到这里的时候,我非常expect能看到怎样的case会有怎样的solution
但是两个论述段的第一句话并没有给出确实的solution,if students怎么样,会怎么样,诸如此类的

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板凳
发表于 2006-4-25 15:47:23 |只看该作者
Whether university students should be required to attend classes or not has triggered vehement debates among professors, scholars as well as sociologists. According to me, specific case demands specific solution. When considering this question, students ‘various knowledge levels and the differences of courses should be taken into account.

Students in a university, as the focus of this discussion, usually come from different areas with varieties of knowledge backgrounds. Some possess strong skills to learn on their own and grasp(ING形式) knowledge much more quickly than others. They may show intense interest in a specific field. Thus, they require large time(LZ可以确定这样的表达吗?) input(应用被动?) to conduct the research they are interested in. Once such kind of genius students have been discovered, schools should bear any risks(比较绝对) to encourage them to continue their study without asking (?)them to attend classes, which would exploit their time to do what they really like and with great potential to succeed in that field.

Since students’ knowledge background vary considerably within a university, certain fundamental courses must be designed so as to cultivate them to meet the minimum standard as a university students, who, in some degree, symbolize a country’s knowledge and civilization level. For example, language courses based on international requirements should require all students to take. How can university students come into the society after graduation without a basic mastering of the communication skills with foreigners in such a globalization period?|

All in all, we should consider the idea whether or not require students to attend class flexibly. Situations vary from students to students for their ability and potential to learn and achieve success differ. Besides, some basic courses should demand attendants of all students to unify different students’ knowledge level as well as meeting the standards as university students set by our society.

全篇VARY这个词出现了三次,可以考虑替换表达法。

另外,LZ的观点应该表达的更明确一些。

本文的内容和词句内容都比较丰富,30MIN内能完成很厉害啊~
不过可能是由于LZ比较注重长难句表达,有些地方读起来不是很通畅,若能尝试用从句表达或变换状语位置就更好了。

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地板
发表于 2006-4-25 17:47:13 |只看该作者
限时写出来质量还是相当不错的! :)
全文读下来观点和论述还是很明了的,只是建议在每段开头写个句子概括这段的内容,开门见山,结构就更清晰了

我的,请楼主指教:
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

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发表于 2006-4-25 18:12:50 |只看该作者
谢谢夜一的指点,我所考虑的问题也正是这样,难啊。我不大习惯模棱两可地选两者,还是换回只选其一好写,开始是受出题斑主的解释影响去写两者好。

还有zephyrsun 说的也是太正确了,我现在写出来的都是复杂句,很不通顺。不知怎样变回简单和错落有致的了。
坚持,追我所求

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发表于 2006-4-25 20:55:17 |只看该作者
Whether university students should be required to attend classes or not has triggered vehement debates among(是不是between后边有了as well as了) professors, scholars as well as sociologists. According to me, specific case demands specific solution. When considering this question, students ‘various knowledge levels(我觉得修饰太多了) and the differences of courses should be taken into account.

Students in a university, as the focus of this discussion, usually come from different areas with varieties of knowledge backgrounds. Some possess strong skills to learn on their own and grasp knowledge much more quickly than others. They may show intense interest in a specific field. Thus, they require large time input to conduct(感觉有点别扭) the research they are interested in. Once such kind of genius students have been discovered, schools(universities较好) should bear any risks to encourage them to continue their study without asking them to attend classes, which would exploit their time to do what they really like and with great potential to succeed in that field.

Since students’ knowledge background(我觉得这种名词+名词用OF结构较好 the knowledge background of college students) vary (单数) considerably within a university, certain fundamental courses must be designed so as to cultivate them to meet the minimum standard as a university students, who, in some degree, symbolize a country’s knowledge and civilization level. For example, language courses based on international requirements should require all students to take. How can university students come into the society after graduation without a basic mastering of the communication skills with foreigners in such a globalization period?

All in all, we should consider the idea whether or not require students to attend class flexibly. Situations vary from students to students for their ability and potential to learn and achieve success differ. Besides, some basic courses should demand attendants of all students to unify different students’ knowledge level as well as meeting the standards as university students set(?) by our society.


我的愚见是:我感觉长句有点多,楼主是不是在复习GRE或GMAT作文啊?有些句子我看不太懂,我觉得整篇文章长句太多的话老外也不会很舒服的吧,我还是喜欢长短结合,如果30分钟内完成的话是篇质量不错的文章。

以后请多指教!
dsafd

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7
发表于 2006-4-25 22:48:05 |只看该作者
呜呜
已被复杂长句毒害过深也,毒害过深也
呜呜
谢谢兄台们修改指点
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RE: topic14 30分钟 [修改]

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topic14 30分钟
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