Issue130 义无返顾小组第八次作业

kittywen_16UID: 2135347

对不起，临时周末有事，今天我也迟了。我觉得这篇文章很难写，从昨天开始一直在想，写起来还是很困难，为什么呢



(1) 教育对个人和社会的影响；
（2）虽然老师如何培养孩子使他们对社会有利，但囿于现实原因，无法达到;
（3）面对激烈的竞争，家长为孩子设立的目标也越来越功利化；
（4）改革教育体制中的弊端，社会和家长共同努力，培养出对国家有益的人才，是当前教育的主要任务


As is claimed in the topic statement, It is universally acknowledged that education served as the paramount impetus of the human evolution, and the basic means by which we impart beliefs , values, ideas, ethics and so on. Today people pay much more expectation on education than they used to do. Insofar as I can see, I partly agree with the author's opinion. Children who have been socialized will influence the development of the society. However, when we give close scrutiny on temporary education, though most people, including professional educators and parents, do know how to cultivate children to benefit society, but unfortunately they have deviated from this aim for some reasons.

One of the presidents of American, Franklin Roosevelt, has said: We can't always build future for our youth, but we can build youth for future. The words points out that one of the purpose of education is to help children become autonomous, creative, inquiring people, from ignorant to intelligent, who have the will and intelligence to create their own destiny and in the end create a prosperous destiny for their country. Throughout our own history, we can easily find how much endeavor people had done to prepare the new generation for the future. The obvious deference between children and adults is that the former has a glorious future before them, and the latter has a glorious history behind them.

Though people know how to educate children for the future, there are still something in education system leavening for questioned. Broadly speaking, people acquire knowledge through three main paths: professional educators, eldership and themselves. Compared with other methods, school education offers knowledge broader and deep in scope or content. Hanyu, one of the famous educators regarded a teacher as a guider who pouring truth, imparting skills and eliminate questions. This famous saying is well known although the country, and every teacher has esteemed it as the conductor to raise children. Unfortunately, sometimes it is difficult for them to obey this ruler. For instance, in china, teachers' performance is always determined by students' remarks in the enrollment examinations. Consequently, they have to pour test contains to students in spite of the knowledge is of little help for children. This method is rather producing  large numbers of similar graduators fit for examinations than ability person for society. We are no surprised to hear some students who have admitted for bachelor degree or doctorate degree failed to live up with the expectation of society. The general decline in the quality of students has raised great concern.   

There are some questions in family education. As someone has said: Education commences at the mother's knee, and every word spoken with the child can formulate his character. Nevertheless, in the pressure of furious competition, many parents want their children learn earlier and more than average peers. As a result, they pay more money on all kinds of training plans, such as family tutors, piano weekend classes. They focus on enhancing their children's faculties instead of cultivating their healthy characters. Most of them are received good education, and know how to raise the next generation to be beneficial to society, but on the increasingly pressure of competition, they have to set up utilitarian for their children.

The flaws in whole education system have put sands on wheels of the development both for the children and for society. However, we should not lose heart and be pessimistic for future. By reforming the improper standard to judge the performance of the teachers, and introduce more scientifical methods for young parents, children can learn something valuable for their own. In the end, education can fulfill its task as a routine revenue to shape personality, forge ethics, train and teach those who can appreciate truth, virtue and beauty and who can realize the dignity of humanity. The end purpose is making all strength of individual into a harmonious whole.


写出来感觉很空洞：（

[ 本帖最后由 kittywen_16 于 2006-5-21 20:54 编辑 ]

yuviUID: 2169411

晕倒,这次作业的完成情况真是有史以来的最低点,呵呵~~
KITTY,我们互改一下吧~~:)
PK,这篇话题是挺难写的,呵呵.不过还是希望你后面能够完成小结~~:)

yuviUID: 2169411

(1) 教育对个人和社会的影响；
（2）虽然老师如何培养孩子使他们对社会有利，但囿于现实原因，无法达到;
（3）面对激烈的竞争，家长为孩子设立的目标也越来越功利化；
（4）改革教育体制中的弊端，社会和家长共同努力，培养出对国家有益的人才，是当前教育的主要任务
（单从提纲来看，kitty的作文好象没有提到小孩子社会化，也没有提到社会的命运问题。只是说了现在教育的任务及老师和家长在培养小孩过程中的一些问题。主要写了教育而没有正面论证两者的联系，这样会不会有些跑题？）

As is claimed in the topic statement, It is universally acknowledged that education served as the paramount impetus of the human evolution, and the basic means by which we impart beliefs , values, ideas, ethics and so on. Today people pay much more expectation on education than they used to do. Insofar as I can see, I partly agree with the author's opinion. Children who have been socialized will influence the development of the society. However, when we give close scrutiny on temporary education, though most people, including professional educators and parents, do know how to cultivate children to benefit society, but unfortunately they have deviated from this aim for some reasons. （很完整的开头，介绍背景+点题+表明立场）

One of the presidents of American, Franklin Roosevelt, has said: We can't always build future for our youth, but we can build youth for future.（一开头没有TS就给出例子？注意引用的话要有引号） The words points out that one of the purpose of education is to help children become autonomous, creative, inquiring people, from ignorant to intelligent, who have the will and intelligence to create their own destiny and in the end create a prosperous destiny for their country. Throughout our own history, we can easily find how much endeavor people had done to prepare the new generation for the future. The obvious deference between children and adults is that the former has a glorious future before them, and the latter has a glorious history behind them.（这一段好象着重在写下一代和未来的联系，而不是小孩社会化和未来的联系）
Though people know how to educate children for the future, there are still something in education system leavening for questioned. Broadly speaking, people acquire knowledge through three main paths: professional educators, eldership（长辈？） and themselves.（不是很理解这三者是如何划分的） Compared with other methods, school education offers knowledge broader and deep in scope or content. Hanyu, one of the famous educators regarded a teacher as a guider who pouring truth, imparting skills and eliminate questions. This famous saying is well known although the country, and every teacher has esteemed it as the conductor to raise children. Unfortunately, sometimes it is difficult for them to obey this ruler. （写到这里才是真正开始展开观点，呵呵，我觉得前面的话都有些多余哈~~）For instance, in china, teachers' performance is always determined by students' remarks in the enrollment examinations（老师的表现只取决于学生的入学考试成绩吗？）. Consequently, they have to pour test contains to students in spite of the knowledge is of little help for children. This method is rather producing  large numbers of similar graduators fit for examinations than ability person for society. We are no surprised to hear some students who have admitted for bachelor degree or doctorate degree failed to live up with the expectation of society. The general decline in the quality of students has raised great concern.   （我觉得例子不是很具典型性，说服力也不是很够）
There are some questions in family education. （这个TS也太简短拉~~：）As someone has said: Education commences at the mother's knee, and every word spoken with the child can formulate his character.（someone 可以写为：Mr. what-is-his-name，呵呵，XDF老师教的，凑字数+长音节词） Nevertheless, in the pressure of furious competition, many parents want their children learn earlier and more than average peers. As a result, they pay more money on all kinds of training plans, such as family tutors, piano weekend classes. They focus on enhancing their children's faculties instead of cultivating their healthy characters. Most of them are received good education, and know how to raise the next generation to be beneficial to society, but on the increasingly pressure of competition, they have to set up utilitarian for their children.（恩，单看论点不错，就是缺少一些例证）

The flaws in whole education system have put sands on wheels（比喻不错，学习ing） of the development both for the children and for society. However, we should not lose heart and be pessimistic for future. By reforming the improper standard to judge the performance of the teachers, and introduce more scientifical methods for young parents, children can learn something valuable for their own. In the end, education can fulfill its task as a routine revenue to shape personality, forge ethics, train and teach those who can appreciate truth, virtue and beauty and who can realize the dignity of humanity. The end purpose is making all strength of individual into a harmonious whole.（结尾还是在说教育的重要性）

总结：

这篇文章Kitty的字数很充足。。开头和结尾写得比较成功,观点单独来看也都提的不错：）
但是一个很重要的问题，那就是我觉得你写得有点跑题了。
仔细看看你大部分的论证都是基于教育本身来谈论的，虽然你在第一个论点里有提到社会未来的问题，但是只是一笔带过，而没有well ground（呵呵，有点像argument里的逻辑错误）恩，我的建议是kitty还是要重新审一下题目。

这篇文章挺难写的，好象名列issue BT题目榜单上。
我们可以再找个时间专门来讨论一下这题的提纲要如何列，如何展开等等。
多人思考可以帮助打开思路哈~~^_^

yuviUID: 2169411

另外,KITTY 你说觉得文章内容很空洞,我想是因为你没有写在题点上哈~~
所以写的时候只是一味得谈论了教育的重要性,而忽视了这个题目的题点:

小孩社会化的程度--->社会的命运
以及,教育下一代和更好的社会两个很抽象的观念.


我写的时候也觉得很难破题,后来看了<北美范文>才有了一点点的思路.
从社会的命运及"更好的社会"来破题,..

恩..这上面都是我自己的观点了.希望看到的人可以一起讨论一下哈~~:)

大家加油`~^_^

glxingUID: 2156425

补作业
TOPIC: ISSUE130 - "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."
9

I disagree with the author that the socialization of children is most important to determine the destiny of society because there are other factors which can influence the future of society. However, I also concede that we have not done well to raise children who can bring about a better society.

Admittedly, socialization is necessary not only to the growth of children but also to the well-being of society. The growth of children is an progress in which they gradually become independent, step out the asylum of their parents and enter into  the real society at last. If they have enough healthy interactions with their peers  from their childhood, they can learn how to get along with others. They can know what are accepted behaviors and what are wrong actions in society. For example, they would know being honest can bring them friends while bullying is not polite and would be alienated. By contrast, a child who is not socialized at all would find it hard to cooperate and negotiate with other people, and even become anti-social. So the socialization of children would be important to adjust children to society and ensure they can live in society harmoniously.  

However, we should not neglect other factors that can influence the growth of children and then the improvement of society more significantly than socialization. In fact, the development of children’s intelligence, the well-rounded knowledge, children’s morality and emotion can determine their contributions to society as well. For example, Martin Luther King, the famous pioneer against racial discrimination and segregation in the USA, was primarily influenced by his strong religious upbringing, which had more to do with his parental culturing than with socialization. President Roosevelt’s socialization  was stunted by his physical infirmities, but he ascended the presidency by means of his will to overcome physical infirmities and voracious appetite for knowledge. Moreover, without well-developed intellect, children can not push the development of technology forward; without high-standard morality, the world will be led into disorder, and even disaster. Therefore, the parental influence and cultivation of intellect, morality and emotion together determines the destiny of society.     

However, although we have noticed the significance of these factors, we have not learned how to raise children toward those goals in effective way. Due to utilitarianism, people are favor of practical goals, thus placing far less enough emphasis on the cultivation of really worthy goals. People are more concerned with the marks of children’s tests but not the morality of them; Parents care more about whether the majors can give children a good job with high salary but not about children’s real interests. For example, we have seen many talented children who are good at computer nowadays, but some of them become hijackers who make use of their knowledge to commit crimes such as steal money from Internet or destroy some websites. This actually reveals our lacks in educating children to become beneficial to society.

In sum, when it comes to whether a child grows up to contribute to a better society, the key factor is not socialization only but some other factors-such as parental influence, raw intelligence or personal conviction. And we have not done enough in some respects to raise children to better our society.

kittywen_16UID: 2135347

今天就改啊