argument38 【加州阳光】第十一次作业 拍的响亮~

benniUID: 2166321

Argument38
------题目------
The following memo appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council.
'An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. Clearly, eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds. Since colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work, we recommend the daily use of Ichthaid, a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil, as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism.'

------提纲------
1．未必因为吃鱼才很少看医生，何况很少看医生和很少生病是两个概念
2．请假的主要原因未必是感冒
3．就算吃鱼有用，那药也未必有用


------正文------
In the memo, the speaker recommends the daily use of Ichthaid, a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil in order to prevent colds and hence lower absenteeism. To support the recommendation, the author points out the following facts: (1) a study reports that people in East Meria, are used to consume a lot of fish and also visit the doctor only once or twice per year for colds; (2) colds are a common reason for absences from school and work. However, close scrutiny of the evidence reveals that it lends little credence to the recommendation.

To begin with, the author attempts to establish a causal connection between the two facts-- the high fish consumption and the minor times people visited doctor because of colds. Nevertheless, the assumption is based on an oversimplified analysis of the reason of "few visiting times". Actually, it is perhaps that the reason why residents in East Meria visit doctor merely once or twice for cold is that although they are sensitive to the cold temperature and usually suffer cold, they just eat certain pills rather than go to hospital, or that the annually warm weather in East Meria makes people have little chance to catch cold and if so, the "few visiting times" has little to do with the high consumption of fish.

In the second place, the author obviously commits the fallacy of "oversimplified analysis" in that he does not provide specific information about the relationship between colds and absenteeism. In fact, other than colds, there are numerous factors neglected by the speaker might have equally contributed to the absenteeism, such as children care, bones fracture or some personal businesses. Perhaps one gets some sever epidemic diseases, however, to avoid dismissing, he or she tells the employer that he/she has a cold as the excuse for absenteeism. In a word, since lacking solid evidence to manifest that colds are the genuine reason for most absences the argument would be highly doubtful.

Finally, we are informed little information about Ichthaid. Even assuming that the eating fish can serve to prevent colds, it does not necessarily that any nutritional supplement derived from fish oil has the same function. Although Ichthaid contains fish oil, it also need to be processed, which might render it useless. Moreover, the author do not inform us whether Ichthaid is appropriate for daily use and whether overuse of it would have negative impact.

In conclusion, the argument rests on some suspicious assumptions that make it unconvincing as it stands. To bolster the recommendation, the author should provide clear evidence that eating fish can prevent colds. To better assess it, I would need the details to show the relationship between colds and absenteeism and I would also need more information about the effect of Ichthaid.

timboyUID: 193944

------正文------
In the memo, the speaker recommends the daily use of Ichthaid, a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil in order to prevent colds and hence lower absenteeism. To support the recommendation, the author points out the following facts: (1) a study reports that people in East Meria, are used to consume a lot of fish and also visit the doctor only once or twice per year for colds; (2) colds are a common reason for absences from school and work. However, close scrutiny of the evidence reveals that it lends little credence to the recommendation.
不错,模板很好！
To begin with, the author attempts to establish a causal connection between the two facts-- the high fish consumption and the minor times people visited doctor because of colds.（请交代一下因果各是谁？） Nevertheless, the assumption is based on an oversimplified analysis of the reason of "few visiting times". Actually, it is perhaps that the reason why residents in East Meria visit doctor merely once or twice for cold is that although they are sensitive to the cold temperature and usually suffer cold, they just eat certain pills rather than go to hospital, or that the annually warm weather in East Meria makes people have little chance to catch cold （and，删掉） if so, the "few visiting times" has little to do with the high consumption of fish.

In the second place, the author obviously commits the fallacy of "oversimplified analysis" in that he does not provide specific information about the relationship between colds and absenteeism. In fact, other than colds, there are numerous factors neglected by the speaker might have equally contributed to the absenteeism, such as children care, bones fracture or some personal businesses. Perhaps one gets some sever epidemic diseases, however, to avoid dismissing, he or she tells the employer that he/she has a cold as the excuse for absenteeism.（这句话和上一句好像没有转折关系） In a word, since lacking solid evidence to manifest that colds are the genuine reason for most absences the argument would be highly doubtful.

Finally, we are informed little information about Ichthaid. Even assuming that the eating fish can serve to prevent colds, it does not necessarily that any nutritional supplement derived from fish oil has the same function. Although Ichthaid contains fish oil, it also need to be processed, which might render it useless. Moreover, the author do not inform us whether Ichthaid is appropriate for daily use and whether overuse of it would have negative impact.
开头太简单了，没有指明关键的错误。
In conclusion, the argument rests on some suspicious assumptions that make it unconvincing as it stands. To bolster the recommendation, the author should provide clear evidence that eating fish can prevent colds. To better assess it, I would need the details to show the relationship between colds and absenteeism and I would also need more information about the effect of Ichthaid.

结尾不错！

整体写的不错，在细节上多加注意就完美了，加油！

[ 本帖最后由 timboy 于 2006-7-18 17:03 编辑 ]