issue147 0610G同主题第三期 欢迎互拍^^

apiyo_07UID: 2191343

ISSUE147."Tradition and modernization are incompatible. One must choose between them." (644)

提纲：持保留意见的反对
1.先让步：说明tradition和modernization确实有互相矛盾的时候
2.指出我们事实上已经生活在传统与现代化的结合中，作者未免有点beg for the question
3.指出传统和现代化对个人和社会都十分重要，缺一不可

基本能在45分钟完成，包括审题和构思，不过脑子好像有点糊了，例子不好，请大家多多指教了:mad::mad:

Though the preservation of tradition sometimes may contradict with the process of modernization, to describe their relationship as incompatible is, nevertheless, going to extreme. Given the fact that we are actually living in the combination of cultural convention and industrial modernization, the point worth noticing is not to choose either one, rather, we should pay more attention to the harmonious cooperation of the two indispensable elements in our life.

It is true that sometimes the preservation of tradition would run in opposite direction against the process of modernization, especially in times of drastic social reforms or ideological changes. For instance, before the advent of classical music in Europe, church music was the norm of all music creation, while the now much cherished and admired classical music like those famous pieces by Bach were buried in obscurity. In the field of literature, during the 19th century when realism claimed the attention of the general public and acclaimed by literary critics, the more modern literary trends like surrealism or postrealism were confronted with strong objection and disproval. That is to say, to keep their tradition intact, people usually choose to reject the more adventurous ideas and values.

Yet even the aforementioned cases could not deny the fact that we are actually living in a world of combination between tradition and modernization. Consider the modern skyscrapers where located our offices and the time-honored ancient buildings that provide not only an ideal sight-seeing place for tourists around the world, but also precious objects of in-depth studies for historians, anthropologies, architects and so on. Also consider the festivities we are celebrating nowadays which are simply mixing the Chinese traditional festivals like Spring festival and Mid-autumn festival, with the western holidays like Valentine's Day, Christmas and Easter. Taking this into consideration, the speaker might sound a bit like begging the question.

More importantly, the harmonious coexistence of both tradition and modernization is so indispensable to our life that it could not possibly be a question of to be or not to be. Without tradition, we as individual would lose our sense of identity. The Chinese culture has extended for thousands of years with enriched heritage and historical significance, the ignorance of which as a Chinese would not only deprive an individual of his or her ability to appreciate his or her mother culture, but also leave him or her at lost in a world of ever-changing values. At society level, the loss of tradition would lead to chaos in the value system of society as a whole, since tradition serves as a time enduring tie that help to hold together people from different backgrounds and with various attitudes while all of whom were born and raised under the influence of the same cultural tradition.

But the significance assigned just now to tradition does not mean that modernization is any less important. Rather, modernization counts most heavily in the advancement of society. Had it not been for modernization in the field of industry, we might be still living in a dark world with only candles for light; it would still take us days or even months to travel to another town or city just to say hello to our parents or sisters, and travelling across country might be a sheer daydream. Had it not been for modernization in people's attitudes towards women's role in society, girls might be still kept from school and education; women might still be assigned the fixed role of staying home without being given the chance to express their ideas and demonstrate their abilities.

In sum, as society advances through time, we have long since been living in a world where tradition and modernization hold hand in hand with each other. Though contradictions do exist, especially when it comes to times of vicissitudes, both tradition and modernization serve as indispensable parts of us individuals and our society.

jojocuteUID: 2187294

Though the preservation of tradition sometimes may contradict with the process of modernization, to describe their relationship as incompatible is, nevertheless, going to extreme. Given the fact that we are actually living in the combination（livingin the combination,说不通巴，最好改成livingin the society combained with)(considering)  of cultural convention and industrial modernization, the point worth noticing is not to choose either one, rather, we should pay more attention to the harmonious cooperation of the two indispensable elements in our life.

It is true that sometimes the preservation of tradition would run in opposite direction against(run opposite with) the process of modernization, especially in times of drastic social reforms or ideological changes. For instance, before the advent of classical music in Europe, church music was the norm of all music creation, while the(the去掉吧) now much cherished and admired classical music like those famous pieces by Bach were buried in obscurity. In the field of literature, during the 19th century when realism claimed the attention of the general public and acclaimed by literary critics, the more modern literary trends like surrealism or postrealism were confronted with strong objection and disproval. That is to say, to keep their tradition intact, people usually choose to reject the more adventurous ideas and values.

Yet even the aforementioned cases could not deny the fact that we are actually living in a world of combination between tradition and modernization. Consider the modern skyscrapers where located our offices and the time-honored ancient buildings that provide not only an ideal sight-seeing place for tourists around the world, but also precious objects of in-depth studies for historians, anthropologies, architects and so on. Also consider the festivities we are celebrating nowadays which are simply mixing the Chinese traditional festivals like Spring festival and Mid-autumn festival, with the western holidays like Valentine's Day, Christmas and Easter. Taking this into consideration, the speaker might sound a bit like begging the question.(好话就不多说了， 语言真得很棒， 但好像句子太长了，适当加几个短剧子穿插一下，另外除了主体句两个例子，好像只有最后一句了，是不是考虑加进一些说理)More importantly, the harmonious coexistence of both tradition and modernization is so indispensable to our life that it could not possibly be a question of to be or not to be. Without tradition, we as individual would lose our sense of identity. The Chinese culture has extended for thousands of years with enriched heritage and historical significance, the ignorance of which as a Chinese would not only deprive an individual of his or her ability to appreciate his or her mother culture, but also leave him or her at lost in a world of ever-changing values. (这句太长了，可分成两句)At society level, the loss of tradition would lead to chaos in the value system of society as a whole, since tradition serves as a time enduring tie that help to hold together people from different backgrounds and with various attitudes while all of whom were born and raised under the influence of the same cultural tradition.

But the significance assigned just now to tradition does not mean that modernization is any less important. Rather, modernization counts most heavily in the advancement of society. Had it not been for modernization in the field of industry, we might be still living in a dark world with only candles for light; it would still take us days or even months to travel to another town or city just to say hello to our parents or sisters, and travelling across country might be a sheer daydream. Had it not been for modernization in people's attitudes towards women's role in society, girls might be still kept from school and education; women might still be assigned the fixed role of staying home without being given the chance to express their ideas and demonstrate their abilities.

In sum, as society advances through time, we have long since been living in a world where tradition and modernization hold hand in hand with each other. Though contradictions do exist, especially when it comes to times of vicissitudes, both tradition and modernization serve as indispensable parts of us individuals and our society.

嗯，不客气了，我觉得lz的语言真得很棒，三好像每一段就是一个主体句，两个很长的局势相同的例子，再加一个结尾句， 是不是考虑分几个分论点，并适当增加点说理部分呢？不过45分钟构思加成文写成这种水平我真是自叹不如阿:victory:

[ 本帖最后由 jojocute 于 2006-7-18 16:21 编辑 ]

莎拉UID: 2185851

提纲：持保留意见的反对
1.先让步：说明tradition和modernization确实有互相矛盾的时候
2.指出我们事实上已经生活在传统与现代化的结合中，作者未免有点beg for the question
3.指出传统和现代化对个人和社会都十分重要，缺一不可

基本能在45分钟完成，包括审题和构思，不过脑子好像有点糊了，例子不好，请大家多多指教了

Though the preservation of tradition sometimes may contradict with the process of modernization, to describe their relationship as incompatible is, nevertheless, going to extreme. Given the fact that we are actually living in the combination of cultural convention and industrial modernization, the point worth noticing is not to choose either one, rather, we should pay more attention to the harmonious cooperation of the two indispensable elements in our life.(开头不错）

It is true that sometimes the preservation of tradition would run in opposite direction against the process of modernization, especially in times of drastic social reforms or ideological changes. For instance, before the advent of classical music in Europe, church music was the norm of all music creation, while the now much cherished and admired classical music like those famous pieces by Bach were buried in obscurity. In the field of literature, during the 19th century when realism claimed the attention of the general public and acclaimed by literary critics, the more modern literary trends like surrealism or postrealism were confronted with strong objection and disproval.（这句话太长了，不是很明白的说） That is to say, to keep their tradition intact, people usually choose to reject the more adventurous ideas and values.

Yet even the aforementioned cases could not deny the fact that we are actually living in a world of combination between tradition and modernization. Consider the modern skyscrapers where located our offices and the time-honored ancient buildings that provide not only an ideal sight-seeing place for tourists around the world, but also precious objects of in-depth studies for historians, anthropologies, architects and so on. Also consider the festivities we are celebrating nowadays which are simply mixing the Chinese traditional festivals like Spring festival and Mid-autumn festival, with the western holidays like Valentine's Day, Christmas and Easter. Taking this into consideration, the speaker might sound a bit like begging the question.（我觉得这个观点得稍微改一下，如果仅把共同存在这个事实列出来的话，恐怕还不是很convincing,并不是说两者现在共同存在我们就不应该两者选其一，这里还需要一个逻辑的衔接，再加一点分析就好了，或者干脆把这段放在后面，说两者可以结合的很好，不需要选择：）

More importantly, the harmonious coexistence of both tradition and modernization is so indispensable to our life that it could not possibly be a question of to be or not to be. Without tradition, we as individual would lose our sense of identity. The Chinese culture has extended for thousands of years with enriched heritage and historical significance, the ignorance of which as a Chinese would not only deprive an individual of his or her ability to appreciate his or her mother culture, but also leave him or her at lost in a world of ever-changing values. At society level, the loss of tradition would lead to chaos in the value system of society as a whole, since tradition serves as a time enduring tie that help to hold together people from different backgrounds and with various attitudes while all of whom were born and raised under the influence of the same cultural tradition.

But the significance assigned just now to tradition does not mean that modernization is any less important. Rather, modernization counts most heavily in the advancement of society. Had it not been for modernization in the field of industry, we might be still living in a dark world with only candles for light; it would still take us days or even months to travel to another town or city just to say hello to our parents or sisters, and travelling across country might be a sheer daydream. Had it not been for modernization in people's attitudes towards women's role in society, girls might be still kept from school and education; women might still be assigned the fixed role of staying home without being given the chance to express their ideas and demonstrate their abilities.（这一段很好哦，两大段排比，两个不同方面，结构巧妙，值得学习！）
In sum, as society advances through time, we have long since been living in a world where tradition and modernization hold hand in hand with each other. Though contradictions do exist, especially when it comes to times of vicissitudes, both tradition and modernization serve as indispensable parts of us individuals and our society.

写的不错呢，能在45分钟写出这么质量高的文章，实在是佩服，尤其在语言方面，很多句式的变换和句子结构，用词的选择都很恰当，意思表述也很清晰

apiyo_07UID: 2191343

非常感谢jojo和莎拉^__^

to jojo：嗯，我也觉得自己写的长句太多了，自从听说GRE作文应该多些长句后，很多时候会处于一种失控状态，句子写到后来自己也不知道写了些什么，谢谢提醒！还有说理，偶要不就是只有道理想不出例子，要不就是例子多了道理不晓得去哪儿了，你说得对啊，继续努力中= =

to莎拉：嘻嘻，那句你看不大明白的话是因为偶写长句失控了，出错了，呵呵，应该在acclaimed前加上was；嗯，确实，第三段好像就在堆砌例子，不够说服力，偶得在想想，逻辑分析是偶的弱项，非常感谢！