argument 145

CharaznablezUID: 2140987

TOPIC: ARGUMENT145 - A new study collected data that shows that people who snore are more likely to gain weight than are people who do not snore. It is well known that many people who snore also stop breathing frequently during the night for a few seconds, a condition called sleep apnea. The interruption of breathing wakes the person-often so briefly that the waking goes unnoticed-and can leave the person too tired during the day to exercise. Anyone who snores, therefore, should try to eat less than the average person and to exercise more.
WORDS: 450         TIME: 0:40:00          DATE: 2006-7-16

The arguer claims that anyone who snores are more likely to gain weight than others who do not snore and thus should try to eat less than average person and to exercise more beacuse sleep apnea cause them to tired to exercise. This conclusion seems logic at the first glance. However, after careful scrutiny, it is unconvincing for several flaws.

First of all, the arguer claims that many people who snore also stop breathing frequently during the night for a few seconds. But he do not provide any inform about how to define the word"many". For example, consider 1000 people who suffered from breathing stop ,we may say there are many people who have this trouble. But when compared to one million people ,it is a little proportion in those who snore. In this case, will you still think it is a special characteristic that people who snore have? Therefore, the arguer provide vague information and cannot justify his conclusion.

Secondly, even assuming there are a large proportaion of people who usually stop breathing for a while , the arguer is still unfairly to assert that it is this type of sleep apnea that cause those people who do not like take exercise tired during the day. It is entirely possible that those peole are too busy in the working hours to exercise and cannot get sufficient rest in the evening.As a result, they are often seen tired. Or perhaps those people are lazy men or women that do not like exercise naturely. Lacking this kind of evidence, the arguer cannot substantiate his conclusion.

Moreover, the arguer commits a fallacy of hasty generalization .Beacuse there is no evidence to support that those people who snores eat more than average person and exercise less. On the one hand, perhaps ,many of this kind of people tend to eat less everyday and take more exercise than general poplution. But they are still obese. On the other hand, as people are different in their body conditions, as well as obesity can result from lots of reasons ,such as heredity or something else. Any scenarios mentioned above ,in true, will undermine the credibility of the arugment.

In sum, the argument is not well reasoned. To substantiate the conclusion ,the arguer need to provide more evidence about the proportion of people who snore and suffered form sleep apnea and these people usually feel tired for sleep apnea as well as they are usually eat more and exercise less than average people.

helenlhhUID: 2127690

The arguer claims that anyone who snores are more likely to gain weight than others who do not (snore可省略) and thus should try to eat less than average person and to exercise more beacuse sleep apnea cause them too tired to exercise. This conclusion seems logic at the first glance. However, after careful scrutiny, it is unconvincing for several flaws.我很喜欢你的开头模式，既很简洁论述也很清楚！
First of all, the arguer claims that many people who snore also stop breathing frequently during the night for a few seconds. But he do not provide any inform about how to define the word"many". For example, consider 1000 people who suffered from breathing stop ,we may say there are many people who have this trouble. But when compared to one million people ,it is a little proportion in those who snore. In this case, will you still think it is a special characteristic that people who snore have? Therefore, the arguer provide vague information and cannot justify his conclusion.这段虽然说清楚了但没有说到点子上，直接说cannot justify his conclusion不是很明确，最好应该点出the arguer cannot convince us that it is a problem common with most people who snore.

Secondly, even assuming there are a large proportaion of people who usually stop breathing for a while , the arguer is still unfairly to assert that it is this type of sleep apnea that cause those people who do not like take exercise tired during the day. It is entirely possible that those peole are too busy in the working hours to exercise and cannot get sufficient rest in the evening.As a result, they are often seen tired. Or perhaps those people are lazy men or women that do not like exercise naturely. Lacking this kind of evidence, the arguer cannot substantiate his conclusion.

Moreover, the arguer commits a fallacy of hasty generalization .Beacuse there is no evidence to support that those people who snores eat more than average person and exercise less. On the one hand, perhaps ,many of this kind of people tend to eat less everyday and take more exercise than general poplution. But they are still obese. On the other hand, as people are different in their body conditions, as well as obesity can result from lots of reasons ,such as heredity or something else. Any scenarios mentioned above ,in true, will undermine the credibility of the arugment.
这题还有一个观点可以攻击的是：题中说打呼噜的人容易发胖，但很有可能反过来，是因为胖才打呼噜。不过有三段已经够了，不用再写了。

In sum, the argument is not well reasoned. To substantiate the conclusion ,the arguer need to provide more evidence about the proportion of people who snore and suffered form sleep apnea and these people usually feel tired for sleep apnea as well as they are usually eat more and exercise less than average people.

我觉得你写的语言和思路上都很清晰，如果还有时间的话应该多去背诵一些文章，这样语言可以写的更好一些，加油！

别忘了到学习交流版多聊聊！

CharaznablezUID: 2140987

谢谢! 按你说的继续努力. helenlhh 人真的很好啊~