issue50 [Smile]第一次作业，多提意见啊

EmmanuelleUID: 2231740

提纲：
基本同意题中的观点
1．        事物之间总会存在一些联系，孤立不利于发展。
2．        从学生角度看，教师这么做有利于学生的学习。
1）        广度上，知识面扩大，兴趣增加，加强了对知识的理解与应用。
2）        纵向上，教师如果了解了上大学前学生的教育情况，和工作后的情况，可以更好的指导学生再大学期间的学习与锻炼。
3．        从教师角度看，有利于自身素质的提高。可以为科研带来一些新的想法和理念。
4．        只要不影响到专业知识和能力的深造，应该提倡这种行动。

TOPIC: ISSUE50 - "In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."

In general, I agree with the assertion that all faculty in college and university should spend time to work outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach for the improvement of the instruction quality. Moreover, it will be perfect if we add a presupposition that the faculty first ought to be experienced and knowledgable in their specific domains.
    First, theoretically speaking, hardly anything in the world is isolated and there always exist relations among different things. So it is with knowledge and skills. Experiencing some professions which seem quite irrelevant may be helpful or make one's life abundant at least.
    When it comes to university instruction, the theory is also reasonable. If we restrain our faculty in their labs and do not allow them to go outside, isolation can narrow these people's visions and limit their imagination as well as creativity which are needed in science. So this practice is no good to both science and college instruction. I will illustrate it in detail below.
    From the view of students, they need teachers who can not only teach them difficult, advanced professional information but also who can tell them the sameness and differences between one subject and the others. If a teacher has the experience in other relevant professions, he or she could widen the students' knowledge and introduce more things which will interest students. Moreover, some laws or theories are very hard to understand and students are often unwilling to know them just because they are bored and abstruse. At this time, the teacher's explanations which compare the difficulty with some familiar things will help the young greatly. Last, many of the relevant professions have much to do with apply in true life. The teachers can introduce those exertion and the students could know the social value of what they are learning and understand the knowledge in-depth too.
    On the other hand, working in professions out of academic world not only means learning from other parallel vocations or subjects. The faculty may go to high schools from which the undergraduates come. When I was a freshman, our classmates from every place in my country complain that the teachers did not know what we had learn in high school and what our learning habits were so they felt hard to adapt the new surrounding. Perhaps if our faculty get in touch with some middle school students this circumstance could be better. Meanwhile they also need to work with the graduates in their vocations. Those graduates could tell things learned in university that they feel useful and what make them feel defective. According to these advices, the faculty can adjust their methods or plans in instructions.
    Even for the teachers themselves, this recommendation is also beneficial. Just as I adduce in the third paragraph, science needs broad eye shot. Any limit can influence its development. Working outside is favorable for faculty to advance themselves and stimulate ideas. That is what college and university need.
    In conclusion, the recommendation in this issue is quite correct. Yet, we have to consider that those faculties should first have an abundant knowledge in their own subjects because this is the basic requirement of a teacher. Besides, it is absolutely right for them to go to the outside world and the quality of instruction can be improved remarkably.

adam_spearsUID: 2109817

TOPIC: ISSUE50 - "In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."

In general, I agree with the assertion that all faculty in college and university should spend time to work outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach for the improvement of the instruction quality.可以适当换一下句型，例如改为I agree with the assertion that working in professions correlated with academic area  for faculty in college and university would do benefits to the instruction quality,也许换个表达方式好些  Moreover, it will be perfect if we add a presupposition that the faculty first ought to be experienced and knowledgable in their specific domains.
    First, theoretically speaking, hardly anything in the world is isolated and there always exist relations among different things. So it is with knowledge and skills. Experiencing some professions which seem quite irrelevant may be helpful or make one's life abundant at least. 这句有些偏题吧，题目说的是the professions relevant to the courses they teach，而不是professions which seem quite irrelevant
    When it comes to university instruction, the theory is also reasonable. If we restrain our faculty in their labs and do not allow them to go outside,加上then the可能会更显得有逻辑性 isolation can narrow these people's visions and limit their imagination as well as creativity which are needed in science. So this practice is no good to both science and college instruction.从问题的反面来说，挺好的 I will illustrate it in detail below.这句感觉多余，你下面的话并不是illustrate限制出去这个观点的，而是demonstrate了出去了有好处的观点
    From the view of students, they need teachers who can not only teach them difficult, advanced professional informationteach 和information 搭配不太恰当，建议将teach改为impart but also who can tell them the samenesses and differences between one subject and the others. If a teacher has the experience in other relevant professions这稍有些偏，和上面那个问题一样, he or she could widen the students' knowledge and introduce more things which will interest students. Moreover, some laws or theories are very hard to understand and students are often unwilling to know them just because they are boredboring and abstruse. At this time, the teacher's explanations which compare the difficulty with some familiar things will help the young greatly. Last, many of the relevant professions have much to do with applyapplication in true life. The teachers can introduce those exertion and the students could know the social value of what they are learning and understand the knowledge in-depthin-depth是adj.改为in depth too.
    On the other hand, working in professions out of academic world not only means learning from other parallel vocations or subjects. The faculty may go to high schools from which the undergraduates come. When I was a freshman, our classmates from every place in my country complain that the teachers did not know what we had learn in high school and what our learning habits were so they felt hard to adapt tothe new surrounding. Perhaps if our faculty get in touch with some middle school students this circumstance删去this,将students改为students’ could be better. Meanwhile they also need to work with the graduates in their vocations. Those graduates could tell things learned in university that they feel useful and what make them feel defective. According to these advicesadvice, the faculty can adjust their methods or plans in instructions.
    Even for the teachers themselves, this recommendation is also beneficial. Just as I adduce in the third paragraph, science needs broad eye shot. Any limit can influence its development. Working outside is favorable for faculty to advance themselves and stimulate ideas. That is what college and university need.
    In conclusion, the recommendation in this issue is quite correct. Yet, we have to consider that those faculties should first have an abundant knowledge in their own subjects because this is the basic requirement of a teacher. Besides, it is absolutely right for them to go to the outside world and the quality of instruction can be improved remarkably.


我觉得你的提纲列得很好，观点比较全，各个角度都考虑到了。还使用了反面论证的方法，比较convincing。但是文章中有一小部分稍有点偏题，并且那个老师去high school工作的例子显得牵强，因为老师去工作的职业应该与他所教的内容相关，能去high school的老师应该除了教师范的都不太可能吧。还有可能因为时间的缘故，后面写的比较简短，老师自身提高说的不多。

我觉得你还应该在句式上多下功夫，还有例子的素材。

一家之见，仅供参考。说得不好的地方不要打我哦。。。

也希望大家狂拍我的作文:lol

[ 本帖最后由 adam_spears 于 2006-7-22 15:49 编辑 ]

EmmanuelleUID: 2231740

谢谢楼上啊！我也觉得自己句式挺局限的，学校里没英语课了，平时很少写。那这段时间还可以看看什么呢？

smiles11UID: 2232631

还有第三点，从教师角度看，有利於自身提高等，最后回到教学上来，就perfect 了，因为文章是谈出去工作是否对教学和知道有利。

提纲真的很全面，我都写得很笼统的，欢迎去看看我的这一篇，刚刚赶出来的！

adam_spearsUID: 2109817

我觉得看一看ets登出来的范文，和北美范文，摘录一些自己喜欢的句子，并在以后写作文的时候用，应该效果还行。
例子我觉得在google里搜也行，或者听说有个微软百科书，去电骡能下到，当然，维基百科也有点用，搜一下就行了。

adam_spearsUID: 2109817

还有，我觉得审题很关键，最好不要偏题。

vitaminxixiUID: 2159890

1. Moreover, it will be perfect if we add a presupposition that the faculty first ought to be experienced and knowledgable in their specific domains.潜台词是说有些教师不应当经验丰富知识渊博吗？
2. 提纲中我觉得列得很好：  事物之间总会存在一些联系，孤立不利于发展
但写文章有点偏（同意adam_spears ）可以写成outside  or  inside the academic world的联系
3. 文章展开有点不平衡（同意adam_spears ）

一家之言，仅供参考呵呵

geniuschenUID: 2131745

In general,（一般来说，要是用这个你的观点就应该是大部分同意，而你的文章是完全同意） I agree with the assertion that all faculty in college and university should spend time to work（spend没这个用法吧） outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach for the improvement of the instruction quality. Moreover, it will be perfect if we add a presupposition that the faculty first ought to be experienced and knowledgable in their specific domains.（这句话你加到开头，但后文没再提到过）
    First, theoretically speaking, hardly anything in the world is isolated and there always exist relations among different things. So it is with knowledge and skills. Experiencing some professions which seem quite irrelevant （与题目不符合）may be helpful or make one's life abundant at least.
    When it comes to university instruction, the theory is also reasonable. If we restrain our faculty in their labs and do not allow them to go outside, isolation can narrow these people's visions and limit their imagination as well as creativity which are needed in science. So this practice is no good to both science and college instruction. I will illustrate it in detail below.
    From the view of students, they need teachers who can not only teach them difficult, advanced professional information but also who can tell them（who can tell them 可以删除啊） the sameness and differences between one subject and the（删除the） others.（为什么要了解这个啊，题目还是相关的领域啊） If a teacher has the experience in other relevant professions, he or she could widen the students' knowledge and introduce more things which will interest students. Moreover, some laws or theories are very hard to understand and students are often unwilling to know them just because they are bored and abstruse. At this time, the teacher's explanations which compare the difficulty with some familiar things will help the young greatly.（这个例子我觉得没有多大的用处） Last, many of the relevant professions have much to do with apply in true life. The teachers can introduce those exertion and the students could know the social value of what they are learning and understand the knowledge in-depth too.
    On the other hand, working in professions out of academic world not only means learning from other parallel vocations or subjects. （这个主题句你真正想表达的意思没有说出来，只有一半啊）The faculty may go to high schools from which the undergraduates come. When I was a freshman, our classmates from every place in my country complain that the teachers did not know what we had learn in high school and what our learning habits（每个人都不同吧，他去高中了也不知道，而且教课还是属于学术的范围吧。。） were so they felt hard to adapt the new surrounding. Perhaps if our faculty get in touch with some middle school students this circumstance could be better. Meanwhile they also need to work with the graduates in their vocations. Those graduates could tell things learned in university that they feel useful and what make them feel defective. According to these advices, the faculty can adjust their methods or plans in instructions.（这段的例子不好）
    Even for the teachers themselves, this recommendation is also beneficial. Just as I adduce in the third paragraph, science needs broad eye shot. Any limit can influence its development. Working outside is favorable for faculty to advance themselves and stimulate ideas. That is what college and university need.（这不是又把前面的观点重复了一遍？）
    In conclusion, the recommendation in this issue is quite correct. Yet（为什么要表转折？）, we have to consider that those faculties should first have an abundant knowledge （knowledge不可数吧）in their own subjects because this is the basic requirement of a teacher. Besides, it is absolutely right for them to go to the outside world and the quality of instruction can be improved remarkably.

仅供参考

EmmanuelleUID: 2231740

1. Moreover, it will be perfect if we add a presupposition that the faculty first ought to be experienced and knowledgable in their specific domains.潜台词是说有些教师不应当经验丰富知识渊博吗？
:L我的意思是如果加上个前提即首先那些教师在自己专业领域要保证比较精通那么这个结论就比较完善了。可能我没表达清楚。

另外我不太明白“文章展开有点不平衡”？:L我的重点在内容多的地方，关于教师自身提高我是当成补充的。

我再改改。非常感激大家提意见啊！:)

xinxinwUID: 2144273

In general, I agree with the assertion that all faculty in college and university should spend time to work outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach for the improvement of the instruction quality. Moreover, it will be perfectperfect这种绝对词不要出现，最多说某个例子能perfectly illustrate ath if we add a presupposition that the faculty first ought to be experienced and knowledgable in their specific domains.

First, theoretically speaking, hardly anything in the world is isolated and there always exist relations among different things. So it is with knowledge and skills. Experiencing some professions which seem quite irrelevant may be helpful or make one's life abundant at least.上纲上线的话还是不要单作为一段，没有充分展开，还不如不要。可以和下面一段结合，有点有面就好了

When it comes to university instruction, the theory is also reasonable. If we restrain our faculty in their labs and do not allow them to go outside, isolation can narrow these people's visions and limit their imagination as well as creativity which are needed in science. So this practice is no good to both science and college instruction. I will illustrate it in detail below.跟教学有关系么？

From the view of students, they need teachers who can not only teach them difficult, advanced professional information but also who can tell them the sameness and differences between one subject and the others. If a teacher has the experience in other relevant professions, he or she could widen the students' knowledge and introduce more things which will interest students. Moreover, some laws or theories are very hard to understand and students are often unwilling to know them just because they are bored and abstruse. At this time, the teacher's explanations which compare the difficulty with some familiar things will help the young greatly. Last, many of the relevant professions have much to do with apply in true life. The teachers can introduce those exertion and the students could know the social value of what they are learning and understand the knowledge in-depth too.

On the other hand, working in professions out of academic world not only means learning from other parallel vocations or subjects. The faculty may go to high schools from which the undergraduates come. When I was a freshman, our classmates from every place in my country complain that the teachers did not know what we had learn in high school and what our learning habits were so they felt hard to adapt the new surrounding. Perhaps if our faculty get in touch with some middle school students this circumstance could be better. Meanwhile they also need to work with the graduates in their vocations. Those graduates could tell things learned in university that they feel useful and what make them feel defective. According to these advices, the faculty can adjust their methods or plans in instructions.

Even for the teachers themselves, this recommendation is also beneficial. Just as I adduce in the third paragraph, science needs broad eye shot. Any limit can influence its development. Working outside is favorable for faculty to advance themselves and stimulate ideas. That is what college and university need.

In conclusion, the recommendation in this issue is quite correct. Yet, we have to consider that those faculties should first have an abundant knowledge in their own subjects because this is the basic requirement of a teacher. Besides, it is absolutely right for them to go to the outside world and the quality of instruction can be improved remarkably.

imzxzUID: 2138612

In general, I agree with the assertion that all faculty in college and university should spend time to work outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach for the improvement of the instruction quality. Moreover, it will be perfect if we add a presupposition【好词！收下了】 that the faculty first ought to be experienced and knowledgable in their specific domains.
    First, theoretically speaking, hardly anything in the world is【应该用倒装】 isolated and there always exist relations among different things. So it is with knowledge and skills. Experiencing some professions which seem quite irrelevant may be helpful or make one's life abundant at least.
    When it comes to university instruction, the theory is also reasonable. If we restrain our faculty in their labs and do not allow them to go outside, isolation can【用may语气可能会好些】 narrow these people's visions and limit their imagination as well as creativity which are needed in science. So this practice is no good to both science and college instruction. I will illustrate it in detail【details】 below.
    From the view of students, they need teachers who can not only teach them difficult, advanced professional information but also who can tell them the sameness and differences between one subject and the others. If a teacher has the experience in other【other指的是什么？】 relevant professions, he or she could widen the students' knowledge and introduce more things which will interest students. Moreover, some laws or theories are very hard to understand and students are often unwilling to know them just because they are bored and abstruse. At this time【case】, the teacher's explanations which compare the difficulty with some familiar things will help the young greatly.【这段论证中没有点出和working outside的关系】 Last, many of the relevant professions have much to do with apply【applying？】 in true life. The teachers can introduce those exertion and the students could know the social value of what they are learning and understand the knowledge in-depth too.
    On the other hand, working in professions out of academic world not only means learning from other parallel vocations or subjects. The faculty may go to high schools from which the undergraduates come. When I was a freshman, our classmates from every place in my country complain that the teachers did not know what we had learn in high school and what our learning habits were so they felt hard to adapt the new surrounding. Perhaps if our faculty get in touch with some middle school students this circumstance could be better. 【这个例子感觉不是很好，因为这种情况不是很可能发生】Meanwhile they also need to work with the graduates in their vocations. Those graduates could tell things learned in university that they feel useful and what make them feel defective. According to these advices, the faculty can adjust their methods or plans in instructions.
   Even for the teachers themselves, this recommendation is also beneficial. Just as I adduce 【had adduced】in the third paragraph, science needs broad eye shot. Any limit can influence its development. Working outside is favorable for faculty to advance themselves and stimulate ideas. That is what college and university need.
    In conclusion, the recommendation in this issue is quite correct. Yet, we have to consider that those faculties should first have an abundant knowledge in their own subjects because this is the basic requirement of a teacher. Besides【这个词不好】, it is absolutely right for them to go to the outside world and the quality of instruction can be improved remarkably.