Issue36 [Smile－A组]第二次作业

imzxzUID: 2138612

I

dychangfengUID: 2216148

I strongly agree with the author’ s assertion . To be more specific, I think the greatness can be better and more accurately evaluated by those who live after them.
To begin with , We have to give an definition to “great person” Although each society members ‘s behavior would more or less contribute to their society,as ,however good or bad,as far as I am concerned, one could be called great only when what he did left（exert，感觉left 不大对） remarkable impact on some part of the society positively. （exert remarkable positive impact on part of the society)
Comtempories’s judgement  can often be mislead and blinded by their own  or society party’s interest, while people in the following generations are able to handle to evaluating progress as time present them more information about the person(删掉 himself） and what his action influence some related parts of the society as these effects require adequate time to reveal themselves in the river of history ,（这句话好难懂啊，是不是切一下，time works like a filter, and only those greatest survive, 用这句话会好一些吧）This is especially the case in the art history. A combination of both genius and insanity ,Vicent van Goah was nothing but a totally nameless loser at his life time, who made a living mainly by the donation（这个词不大合适吧，help) of his brother Theo,be unable to sell his paintings by which he ought to make a living,and commited suicide in the end .(这句话语法也有问题，也可能笔误）By contrast, he is regarded as one of the great leaders of expressionism, whose works worth millions of dollors and nourished a few proceeding painters,such as Ernst Ludwig Kirchner, and Emil Nolde. No doubt he is represent the epitome of those whose greatness can only be realized（recognized) by people after them while contemporaries failed to see.（我觉得重要的是解释原因而不是例子本身，这样显得深刻，不过有时候写深刻好难，一起努力吧）Futher more, the judgement of some group of people may change as generations flowes. Modern  study of settlers in the American westward movement who were used to referred to(regard as ...in a rather long period of time,这样觉得句子平衡些） in a rather long period of time as pure heroes expanding the nation’s borders magnificently , alongside with other factors to make American one of the worlds’s most powerful countries .reveals many facts that during the movement was accompanied with undeniable great  suffering, distruction and extinction of native Indian culture and societies.Thus anyone criticize the historical movement have to take those dark side into account and make a much more fair judgement of the greatness of the movement. In case , historian’s conclusion about there settlers evolutes through time to get more jusitified about their greatnes.
In conclusion, the evaluation of people’s contribution to the society is mixed with complexity. From different perspectives can one reach different judgement of the greatness of someone particular（怎么倒装了，没有否定词？）. Thus the most practical and justified approach to the right evalution of the individuals is to let the people after them dicide,when the infirmation become more sufficient,and the their long-time impact on the society emerges. In other words,it is through time,and only through time can one get the most accurate reputation. （结尾不仅总结了，还深入说时间，好！）总体：
文章同意题目的观点，开头简洁。
在展开过程中，例子挺合适，但我觉得应该在例子后加点评价，这样更有说服力
作者好像更喜欢用长句，看了看ets的范文，那里的长句并不多，且很好懂，所以我觉得作文还是要以简明连贯全面深入为标准，这样句子也不易出错，建议作者多背些句子
实在很喜欢这个结尾，我很难做到深化。
还有词汇，看得出来，作者词汇量不小，只是用的时候小心点为好，有时候简单的并不一定不好，准确是重要的，这对我们来说挺难的。:)
我说的不对搂主可要提出啊，大家讨论，呵呵

imzxzUID: 2138612

1

hes2000abcUID: 2154084

Issue36 [Smile－A组]第二次作业
imzxz
I strongly agree with the author’ s assertion . To be more specific, I think the greatness can be better and more accurately evaluated by those who live after them. （第一段内容太少了，最好再丰满一点。）To begin with , We have to give an definition to “great person” Although each society members ‘s behavior would more or less contribute to their society, as ,however good or bad, as far as I am concerned, one could be called great only when what he did left remarkable impact on some part of the society positively.
Contemporary’s judgment  can often be misled and blinded by their own  or society party’s interest, while people in the following generations are able to handle to evaluating progress as time present them more information about the person himself and what his action influence some related parts of the society as these effects require adequate time to reveal themselves in the river of history ,This is especially the case in the art history. A combination of both genius and insanity, Vincent van Gogh was nothing but a totally nameless loser at his life time, who made a living mainly by the donation of his brother Theo, be unable to sell his paintings by which he ought to make a living, and committed suicide in the end .By contrast, he is regarded as one of the great leaders of expressionism, whose works worth millions of dollars and nourished a few proceeding painters, such as Ernst Ludwig Kirchner, and Emil Noodle. No doubt he is represented the epitome of those whose greatness can only be realized by people after them while contemporaries failed to see.
Further more, the judgment of some group of people may change as generations flow. Modern  study of（about） settlers in the American westward movement who were used to referred to in a rather long period of time as pure heroes expanding the nation’s borders magnificently , alongside with other factors to make American one of the world’s most powerful countries .reveals many facts that during the movement was accompanied with undeniable great  suffering, destruction and extinction of native Indian culture and societies. Thus anyone criticize the historical movement have to take those dark side into account and make a much more fair judgment of the greatness of the movement. In case, historian’s conclusion about there settlers evolutes through time to get more justified about their greatness.（文章讨论的是the greatness of individuals, 有些走题）In conclusion, the evaluation of people’s contribution to the society is mixed with complexity. From different perspectives can one reach different judgment of the greatness of someone particular. Thus the most practical and justified approach to the right evaluation of the individuals is to let the people after them decide, when the information become more sufficient, and the their去掉 long-time impact on the society emerges. In other words, it is through time, and only through time can one get the most accurate reputation.
复杂句写得很好，词汇运用也不错。很多拼写和时态的小错误应该注意。
第一段内容太少，有的段落内容又太多，要适当均衡一下。
个人建议，呵呵，严重了，请不要介意。

[ 本帖最后由 hes2000abc 于 2006-7-26 10:42 编辑 ]

xinxinwUID: 2144273

I strongly agree with the author’ s assertion . To be more specific, I think the greatness can be better and more accurately evaluated by those who live after them.在充实一些

To begin with , We have to give an definition to “great person” Although each society members ‘s behavior would more or less contribute to their society,as ,however good or bad,as far as I am concerned, one could be called great only when what he did left remarkable impact on some part of the society positively.
Comtempories’s judgement  can often be mislead and blinded by their own  or society party’s interest, while people in the following generations are able to handle to evaluating progress as time present them more information about the person himself and what his action influence some related parts of the society as these effects require adequate time to reveal themselves in the river of history ,This is especially the case in the art history. A combination of both genius and insanity ,Vicent van Goah was nothing but a totally nameless loser at his life time, who made a living mainly by the donation of his brother Theo,be unable to sell his paintings by which he ought to make a living,and commited suicide in the end .By contrast, he is regarded as one of the great leaders of expressionism, whose works worth millions of dollors and nourished a few proceeding painters,such as Ernst Ludwig Kirchner, and Emil Nolde. No doubt he is represent the epitome of those whose greatness can only be realized by people after them while contemporaries failed to see.长句子多但是结构不清晰，晦涩

Futher more, the judgement of some group of people may change as generations flowes. Modern  study of settlers in the American westward movement who were used to referred to in a rather long period of time as pure heroes expanding the nation’s borders magnificently , alongside with other factors to make American one of the worlds’s most powerful countries .reveals many facts that during the movement was accompanied with undeniable great  suffering, distruction and extinction of native Indian culture and societies.Thus anyone criticize the historical movement have to take those dark side into account and make a much more fair judgement of the greatness of the movement. In case , historian’s conclusion about there settlers evolutes through time to get more jusitified about their greatnes.例子不错

In conclusion, the evaluation of people’s contribution to the society is mixed with complexity. From different perspectives can one reach different judgement of the greatness of someone particular. Thus the most practical and justified approach to the right evalution of the individuals is to let the people after them dicide,when the infirmation become more sufficient,and the their long-time impact on the society emerges. In other words,it is through time,and only through time can one get the most accurate reputation.

表达有一定的问题，不能盲目追求句子的长度，不断的往里面加从句和插入语。另外不建议写绝对的观点，一般来说有保留会好一些，当然不是硬性要求