smile 小组 第四次作业 issue185

imzxzUID: 2138612

2

EmmanuelleUID: 2231740

Generally speaking ,we could compare the scandal to the outbreak of some kind of particular disease. At first , it was just a few bacteria that could little harm , but due to the failure of both our immune system and the failure of our health doctor, these little gradually reproduce themselves and take over our organs while we paid no attention to it at all. Finally, the diseases comes to reveal itself to us ,reminding what a huge mistake we had made. In other words, the scandals forced us to see the hidden problems in a obvious but unpleasant way, and forcing us to mend the problem.（开头很独特，很好啊！可以句子再精练一些，联系一下题目就更好了）

In the political fields, quite a lot (of) problems have to be dig(dug) out through the scandals. The famous political “Watergate” gives a great example. It began with the secret break-in and wiretapping in one of the offices of  the Democratic Party, the political opponent of US president , Nixon’ but soon ,through persistent investigation , it turned out that the President himself and quite a  lot of his supporters ,many in high position , got involved in illegal acts, and finally , Nixon ended his political career by resignation, putting an end to the whole stuff. The Watergate scandal shocked the whole nation greatly , forcing them to reflect on whether the President was charged with overwhelming powers that could be abused and furthermore, on how to construct a political system in which the more powerful a man is , the more surveillance he is under, in order to do no harm to the democracy.

Also ,in the business fields, the scandals may offer us a exclusive way to see  the problem and thus solve it. The Enron scandal ‘s deep impact on American economy still echoes today, in which people were shocked to find out the so-called “Star-Company”, Enron, finally got the end of one of the biggest bankrupt in American history, because the managers successfully transferred the money from the company to their own accounts without being found by neither inside nor outside supervisors until the collapse of the company. The famous scandal lead(s) to a few news(new) legislations that place great emphasis on the oversighting of business financial reporting, also make people to think about the responsibilities . Again , the scandal provides us a new prospective(perspective) to the the once unseen problems and make us to fix it.

Even the scandal in the art field would offer us some new insight. . One of the most popular writer in China , gjm, is found to plagiarize other writer’s works recently. The scandal arouses a great discussion all over China society about why it happened and how to prevent it from happening again.（这个例子老美未必知道，可以举艺术界其他剽窃的例子，或是不用提gjm只说这种现象）

In conclusion , the scandal enables us to see the unseen problems ,directly showing us what bad effort is coming along ,thus giving us a chance to solve the problem , in order to prevent it from happening again. From this point of view ,the scandals can be useful. However, it is not a pleasant way ,and may causes great losses. (上文中应该有一段来论述这个问题)In other words, we should seriously learn from the scandals, but not rely on （前面没有提到）the scandals to tell us where the problems is ,as it goes in a destructive way.

总体不错，尤其开头，非常独特。例子也非常合适，不过缺少结论中转折部分的观点论述，应该加上。
以上个人意见，谢谢拍我的作文哈！:)

zhy5186612UID: 2167373

开头太好了

dychangfengUID: 2216148

Generally speaking ,we could compare the scandal to the outbreak of some kind of particular disease. At first , it was just a few bacteria that could little harm , but due to the failure of both our immune system and the failure of our health doctor, these little gradually reproduce themselves and take over our organs while we paid no attention to it at all. Finally, the diseases comes to reveal itself to us ,reminding what a huge mistake we had made. In other words, the scandals forced us to see the hidden problems in a obvious but unpleasant way, and forcing us to mend the problem.（开头确实很独特，佩服作者的想象力）

In the political fields, quite a lot problems have to be dig(dug) out through the scandals. The famous political “Watergate” gives a great example. It began with the secret break-in and wiretapping in one of the offices of  the Democratic Party, the political opponent of US president , Nixon’ but soon ,through persistent investigation , it turned out that the President himself and quite a  lot of his supporters ,many in high position , got involved in illegal acts, and finally , Nixon ended his political career by resignation, putting an end to the whole stuff. The Watergate scandal shocked the whole nation greatly , forcing them to reflect on whether the President was charged with overwhelming powers that could be abused and furthermore, on how to construct a political system in which the more powerful a man is , the more surveillance he is under, in order to do no harm to the democracy.

Also ,in the business fields, the scandals may offer us a exclusive way to see  the problem and thus solve it. The Enron scandal ‘s deep impact on American economy still echoes today, in which people were shocked to find out the so-called “Star-Company”, Enron, finally got the end of one of the biggest bankrupt in American history, because the managers successfully transferred the money from the company to their own accounts without being found by neither inside nor outside supervisors until the collapse of the company. The famous scandal lead to a few news legislations that place great emphasis on the oversighting of business financial reporting, also make people to think about the responsibilities . Again , the scandal provides us a new prospective to the the once unseen problems and make us to fix it.

Even the scandal in the art field would offer us some new insight. . One of the most popular writer in China , gjm, is found to plagiarize other writer’s works recently. The scandal arouses a great discussion all over China society about why it happened and how to prevent it from happening again.

In conclusion , the scandal enables us to see the unseen problems ,directly showing us what bad effort is coming along ,thus giving us a chance to solve the problem , in order to prevent it from happening again. From this point of view ,the scandals can be useful. However, it is not a pleasant way ,and may causes great losses. In other words, we should seriously learn from the scandals, but not rely on the scandals to tell us where the problems is ,as it goes in a destructive way.
这篇文章的角度有些特别，直接从命题的几个领域来分别讨论
总体来说作者是赞同题目观点的。
虽然说issue中观点没有对错之分，但有些观点是容易些深刻的，个人人文丑闻的副作用在文章中讨论的有些少，可以考虑加一些，每个领域都讨论一下，使省心的好方法
但不会很全面，不过这样会给人思路清晰的感觉，考试时也不失是一个策略

xinxinwUID: 2144273

Generally speaking ,we could compare the scandal to the outbreak of some kind of particular disease. At first , it was just a few bacteria that could little harm , but due to the failure of both our immune system and the failure of our health doctor, these little gradually reproduce themselves and take over our organs while we paid no attention to it at all. Finally, the diseases comes to reveal itself to us ,reminding what a huge mistake we had made. In other words, the scandals forced us to see the hidden problems in a obvious but unpleasant way, and forcing us to mend the problem.人才阿

In the political fields, quite a lot problems have to be dig out through the scandals. The famous political “Watergate” gives a great example. It began with the secret break-in and wiretapping in one of the offices of  the Democratic Party, the political opponent of US president , Nixon’ but soon ,through persistent investigation , it turned out that the President himself and quite a  lot of his supporters ,many in high position , got involved in illegal acts, and finally , Nixon ended his political career by resignation, putting an end to the whole stuff. The Watergate scandal shocked the whole nation greatly , forcing them to reflect on whether the President was charged with overwhelming powers that could be abused and furthermore, on how to construct a political system in which the more powerful a man is , the more surveillance he is under, in order to do no harm to the democracy.

Also ,in the business fields, the scandals may offer us a exclusive way to see  the problem and thus solve it. The Enron scandal ‘s deep impact on American economy still echoes today, in which people were shocked to find out the so-called “Star-Company”, Enron, finally got the end of one of the biggest bankrupt in American history, because the managers successfully transferred the money from the company to their own accounts without being found by neither inside nor outside supervisors until the collapse of the company. The famous scandal lead to a few news legislations that place great emphasis on the oversighting of business financial reporting, also make people to think about the responsibilities . Again , the scandal provides us a new prospective to the the once unseen problems and make us to fix it.

Even the scandal in the art field would offer us some new insight. . One of the most popular writer in China , gjm, is found to plagiarize other writer’s works recently. The scandal arouses a great discussion all over China society about why it happened and how to prevent it from happening again.是时间不够么？这段没有展开阿

In conclusion , the scandal enables us to see the unseen problems ,directly showing us what bad effort is coming along ,thus giving us a chance to solve the problem , in order to prevent it from happening again. From this point of view ,the scandals can be useful. However, it is not a pleasant way ,and may causes great losses. In other words, we should seriously learn from the scandals, but not rely on the scandals to tell us where the problems is ,as it goes in a destructive way.


横向展开的方式实际上是老美最喜欢的方式，因为他们的逻辑没有深度，只能靠例子。
但是lz的这篇文章还是有些问题，首先是主题。从你的展开段来看，你似乎是完全同意题目的话说法，这样的话显得有点单薄了。而你的结尾段最后又甩出来一点负观点，但是没有展开。我觉得完全可以拿出一段来写，搞成大正小负