Issue017 清凉夏日三组 习作

domothyUID: 2224019

TOPIC: ISSUE17 - "There are two types of laws: just and unjust. Every individual in a society has a responsibility to obey just laws and, even more importantly, to disobey and resist unjust laws."
WORDS: 347          TIME: 0:45:00          DATE: 2006-7-30

I agree with the speaker's board suggestion that individuals should obey just laws and unjust laws（作者好像没有说要遵守unjust law）, however as the speaker implies, it is critical for this issue to define the extension of just laws and unjust laws. And the speaker unfairly overlooks other ways to modify the society. Nevertheless, in my view, to obey just laws and resist unjust laws, be it（这儿语法有问题） neither the only method nor the best way to make a positive effort to the society, is an effective and necessary one in some special cases.（搞得我都看不懂了，分成两句或写从句不要用状语吧）

To obey the just law is essential for the stability and continuous development of a nation. To sustain this conclusion, we must get a rough definition of just laws, which might be the principles that meet the major's interest of a country. An apt illustration is the tax system in a modern society, which seems unfair when we put our focus on an given（a certain?） individual's interest. But after taking the whole nation into account, tax system provides an effective way to balance the fortune between the poor and the rich, which ensure the stability and security of a country. （ms税收的最大作用是维持国家机器的运转）Therefore, on condition that we put the "just" in light of the benefit of the nation, to obey the just laws is necessary in a larger sense.（你只定义了just law，没有展开说obey它啊）

On the other hand, to resist the unjust law is a positive action for the development of society. Considering for example that before the slavery was outlawed in America, slaves escaping from plantation was not protected by law（这里你要说逃跑是犯法，后面才能说resist啊）. However, there are nearly 1,000 escapes per year during the pre-Civil War decades, which even took up a little proportion those who trying to pursue freedom to the North. In this case, resisting unjust laws become a motivation of Civil War（逃跑很难说是motivation吧？）, which results in a marvelous positive development（in……）. Consequently, the action to resist unjust laws becomes a positive way to stimulate reform and improve the legal system of a nation.（例子不错，但是论证有问题，是不是切入点有点偏？）

However, there are many other solutions to modify the unjust laws, which may be more effective in some special cases. One of these solutions is Media---the uncrowned king, acting as the supervisor of the government. Through the mass media, people can prevent the unjust laws carrying out, and force the government to modify the existed unjust laws. （媒体只能是引起注意的作用吧？而后面的工作还需要人做啊？其实非暴力不合作是个很好的例子， 怎么不用呢？还有上诉等等）Still other solutions such as the election and Congress provide us alternative ways to improve the law system. Unlike the resistance that may result in conflicts and blood, these alternative approaches are more peaceful and suitable for modern society.

Having variable experience and consistent values, people may never arrive at the same point on this controversial issue involving law and ethics. All the evidence discussed above in some cases confirm my suggestion that when modify the society through laws（through law和resist law是不一样的吧？） is and important and effective way, we can not overlook other bearings to solve this problem.

语言方面没多大问题了
但是要注意你的例子和论证例子的角度、深度

linfan68UID: 2185216

有几个地方改了一下，看看加入一两个句子会不会清晰一些？
有点当时高考作文的感觉，需要通过论证把例子加工成符合论点的样子……
TOPIC: ISSUE17 - "There are two types of laws: just and unjust. Every individual in a society has a responsibility to obey just laws and, even more importantly, to disobey and resist unjust laws."
WORDS: 347          TIME: 0:45:00          DATE: 2006-7-30

I agree with the speaker's board suggestion that individuals should obey just laws and resist unjust laws（作者好像没有说要遵守unjust law）, however as the speaker implies, it is critical for this issue to define the extension of just laws and unjust laws. And the speaker unfairly overlooks other ways to modify the society. Nevertheless, in my view, to obey just laws and resist unjust laws, be it（这儿语法有问题） neither the only method nor the best way to make a positive effort to the society, is an effective and necessary one in some special cases.（搞得我都看不懂了，分成两句或写从句不要用状语吧）晕……jj是第三个说我这句话有问题的人了……这是前两天xdf老师说的一个句子被我记下来了……中间，be it...，是表示让步……正在仔细考虑要不要用这个模版……

To obey the just law is essential for the stability and continuous development of a nation. To sustain this conclusion, we must get a rough definition of just laws, which might be the principles that meet the major's interest of a country. An apt illustration is the tax system in a modern society, which seems unfair when we put our focus on an given（a certain?） individual's interest. But after taking the whole nation into account, tax system, as the most important source of government revenue, are used to pay soldiers and police, to build dams and roads, to operate schools and hospitals, to provide food to the poor and medical care to the elderly, and for hundreds of other purposes. Without taxes to fund its activities, government could not exist.（ms税收的最大作用是维持国家机器的运转）Therefore, to ensure that our society runs stably and smoothly, we must obey the laws concerning taxation. In short, on condition that we put the "just" in light of the benefit of the nation, to obey the just laws is necessary in a larger sense.（你只定义了just law，没有展开说obey它啊）

On the other hand, to resist the unjust law is a positive action for the development of society. Considering for example that before the slavery was outlawed in America, slaves escaping from plantation was not protected by law（这里你要说逃跑是犯法，后面才能说resist啊）[前面不是说了not protected by law了么……应该算是resist了吧]. However, there are nearly 1,000 escapes per year during the pre-Civil War decades, which even took up a little proportion those who trying to pursue freedom to the North. And in the North, the motif to end the unjust slavery laws triggered the Civil War; in this case, resisting unjust laws become a motivation of Civil War（逃跑很难说是motivation吧？）. Consequently, the action to resist unjust laws becomes a positive way to stimulate reform and improve the legal system of a nation.（例子不错，但是论证有问题，是不是切入点有点偏？）

However, there are many other solutions to modify the unjust laws, which may be more effective in some special cases. One of these solutions is Media---the uncrowned king, acting as the supervisor of the government. Through the mass media, people can prevent the unjust laws carrying out, and force the government to modify the existed unjust laws. （媒体只能是引起注意的作用吧？而后面的工作还需要人做啊？其实非暴力不合作是个很好的例子， 怎么不用呢？还有上诉等等）说实话当时tk了一下jj的文章，看到这里的例子了，想再换一个说……结果也没说清楚，不过argue一下，非暴力不合作不也是需要引起政府的注意，真正的改进也是其他人做的呀Still other solutions such as the election and Congress provide us alternative ways to improve the law system. Unlike the resistance that may result in conflicts and blood, these alternative approaches are more peaceful and suitable for modern society.

Having variable experience and consistent values, people may never arrive at the same point on this controversial issue involving law and ethics. All the evidence discussed above in some cases confirm my suggestion that when modify the society throght resisting laws（through law和resist law是不一样的吧？） is and important and effective way, we can not overlook other bearings to solve this problem.