issue130 [清凉夏日二组]

leonnieUID: 2216142

题目：ISSUE 130 - "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."
字数：  597       日期：2006-8-2

Nowadays, people pay much more emphasis on how to educate their children to be first in rank while overlook the final goal of education. As the speaker says: " How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society." The problems in our educational system are that we ignore the importance of how to educate them to serve to society. In other words, we sever the relationship between education and society.

The future of children is the future of society and the ways we educate children determine the orientation of society. The children today are the social masters tomorrow. They will use their wisdom and intelligence to create their times just as their parents do today, however, it is up to today's society to determine how to educate them to be competent to accomplish their missions. Because, the ways they educated and the knowledge they learn will be practiced in the future. Moreover, their mores established today will influence the social morality of the future. Therefore, the developing direction of the society depends on the educaion of childern.

Unfortunately, today's education pay too much attention on memorizing doctrines rather than  cultivating creativity. Schools and parents expect to foster the children to be generalists by all meas they could. One needs to look no further than the comprehensive diversity of disciplines and after-class trainings. Everyday, students are required to repeat formulas and do a myrid of exercises, and after calssess they are trained to play piano, violin, draw paintings and so forth. To their parents and school, they might consider it is a successful educaion that their children could repete the complex formulas or obtain several certificates for high level of playing piano. It is true that these children might become to be generalists tomorrow, however, query whether they could carry out their knowledge and abilities to serve to the useful purpose of the society and to create a more harmonious world. Obviously, parents exert more emphasis on the education itself but ignore the final goal of education.

To make matters worse, children are often encouraged to win in whatever competitions rather than to cooperate with others for the common good of the society. In most parents’ view, obtaining good marks in school of children mean the education is successful, and therefore they urge children to work hard and strive to gain higher marks than others in the end of terms. Finally, those winners in comptitions are anxious about losing their advantages then working more harder; the others are encouraged to target the winners, at the same time they care to be exceeded by the followers. As it turns out, our society will be full of competitions and competitors. However, this trend is opposite to the social cooperating tendency. Obviously, the accelerating development of economy and society need the collaboration not only of large corporations but of individuals in each field. Only cooperation could there be the possibility of development, and only development can there be survival in competitions. In short, egregious emphasis on competition in education will inevitably do harm to the society.

In the final analysis, there still lies a long process for both parents and sociey to abolish the antiquated educational method. And what is more important is that the abolishment should be performed to foster competent generations for the useful purpose of society.

helenlhhUID: 2127690

气死我了！昨天改了那么久，估计是网速问题，今天打开一看不翼而飞了

helenlhhUID: 2127690

总体不错
第一个段落的论证不是很有说服力，这个论点确实比较难说，我的思路是抓住关键词determine， 承认确实孩子对将来很重要，但是socialize只是其中的一方面，还有其他因素，这样文章的内容就可以丰富起来
第二段的问题这样也可以，不过我觉得有正反论证更好，稍微简要说一说目前这种教育学生不能适应社会的一些实际问题凸显出中重要性
第三段写的不错
继续加油！

吻雨UID: 2234038

今天我也写了这篇
lz的文笔逻辑没话说，

在we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society上回应很好，分析很透彻

但楼主在How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society 上没有回应。只是说the way to education determine the orientation of society,
只是related to the topic没有focus on the topic

lz有时间帮我批批吧 ^_^

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... ;highlight=issue130