argument76 smileA 第八次作业 化妆品那篇

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Argument76
76The following appeared as part of an article in a health and beauty magazine.

"A group of volunteers participated in a study of consumer responses to the new Luxess face cream. Every morning for a month, they washed their faces with mild soap and then applied Luxess. At the end of that month, most volunteers reported a marked improvement in the way their skin looked and felt. Thus it appears that Luxess is truly effective in improving the condition of facial skin."
outline: 1vague data, not representative
       2 incomplete thought might be the soap, or other cosmetics
      3 look and feel not equates to the improvement, time limitedBased on a survey involving some volunteers who apply the Luxess face cream once a day for a month and feel an improvement of their skin, the speaker concludes that the Luxess is truly effective in improving the facial skin condition. This assertion seems to be reliable at the first glimpse; however, both the survey and conclusion are problematic if we carefully examine that again.

First of all, the survey does not provide us any information about the conducting procedure such as the sample size and sample selection. In order to draw a conclusion that applies to all the consumers, the survey should prove itself to be representative which it fails to do. The volunteers who make up the control may be of the same skin condition such as the dry ones, or even, their volunteerism could, to some extent ,show their preference to Luxess which might influence the objective of the survey, thus this study could not lend enough support to the conclusion that the cream could improve the facial skin condition of all the people.

Secondly, the speaker’s incomplete thought might weaken the argument again. In the survey, the speaker fails to inform us whether the volunteers also use other cosmetics during the day or only have some Luxess cream in the morning, without which I could not be convinced that the improvement of the skin is brought by Luxess face creams rather than other cosmetics the volunteers put on the face. Besides, we may equally assume that it is the mild soap the consumers used to wash their faces before applied the cream that is truly effective in cleaning the face as to alter the facial skin condition. Before ruling out these contingencies, it is impossible to assess that it is the Luxess face cream that is playing the role.

Last but not the least, if the improvement of the facial skin condition the speaker refers to is only the look and feel of the skin as the survey participants expressed rather than a profound change in the skin condition, the speaker’s conclusion might be fair. However, an improvement should not be the one that is superficial or subjective, but should be objective such as the decrease of the wrinkles on the skin, or whether the cream helps the skin to preserve the water and prevent the dirt cramming the pores on the face, which should be studied and observed more than a month. Without this kind of scientific study showing these real improvements of the skin, the arguer’s conclusion is totally doubtful.

To sum up, in the absence of the precise data of the survey and a further scientific study of improvement of the facial skin condition, this argument is unreliable as it stands and may misguide the readers. To improve it, an insightful study and survey is needed and a comprehensive analysis about the survey is required.
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Based on a survey involving some volunteers who apply the Luxess face cream once a day for a month and feel an improvement of their skin, the speaker concludes that the Luxess is truly effective in improving the facial skin condition. This assertion seems to be reliable at the first glimpse; however, both the survey and conclusion are problematic if we carefully examine that again.

First of all, the survey does not provide us any information about the conducting procedure such as the sample size and sample selection不可以这样说，样本是不能选择的，可以说sample distribution什么的，一般用selected sample来当作错误. In order to draw a conclusion that applies to all the consumers, the survey should prove itself to be representative which it fails to do. The volunteers who make up the control may be of the same skin condition such as the dry ones, or even, their volunteerism could, to some extent ,show their preference to Luxess which might influence the objective of the survey, thus this study could not lend enough support to the conclusion that the cream could improve the facial skin condition of all the people.

Secondly, the speaker’s incomplete thought might weaken the argument again. In the survey, the speaker fails to inform us whether the volunteers also use other cosmetics during the day or only have some Luxess cream in the morning, without which I could not be convinced that the improvement of the skin is brought by Luxess face creams rather than other cosmetics the volunteers put on the face. Besides, we may equally assume that it is the mild soap the consumers used to wash their faces before applied the cream that is truly effective in cleaning the face as to alter the facial skin condition. Before ruling out these contingencies, it is impossible to assess that it is the Luxess face cream that is playing the role.

Last but not the least, if the improvement of the facial skin condition the speaker refers to is only the look and feel of the skin as the survey participants expressed rather than a profound change in the skin condition, the speaker’s conclusion might be fair. However, an improvement should not be the one that is superficial or subjective, but should be objective such as the decrease of the wrinkles on the skin, or whether the cream helps the skin to preserve the water and prevent the dirt cramming the pores on the face, which should be studied and observed more than a month.你凭什么说再多观察一个月就行，为什么现在不行，为什么不再多观察一年？ Without this kind of scientific study showing these real improvements of the skin, the arguer’s conclusion is totally doubtful.你这一段还是在怀疑他们的皮肤是不是真的变好了，应该放到前面，因为你第二段是在承认了调查所描述的现象之后，对出现该现象的原因进行攻击

To sum up, in the absence of the precise data of the survey and a further scientific study of improvement of the facial skin condition, this argument is unreliable as it stands and may misguide the readers. To improve it, an insightful study and survey is needed and a comprehensive analysis about the survey is required.


女孩子对化妆品美容效果的分析实在是让我佩服