issue48 [Shining Sep]作文组 第六次作业

flycc28UID: 2164453

ISSUE48"The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten."
历史研究过于关注个人。历史上最有意义的事件和潮流能够成为可能不是因为几个少数的名人而是一些身份早就被淡忘的人群。
1)        In the realm of science, a multitude of significant events was achieved by individuals. Such as Newton, Einstein, Darwin, and Copernicus.
2)        When it comes to music and art areas, famous few attained their success through personal artistic talent and effort, of which took the fruit of former people.
3)        In social activities, it is the masses that complete the events, although leaded by individuals.
4)        Group and individuals are inseparable parts.
There is a public controversy nowadays over the issue of which of the group and individuals should be paid more emphasis on when study history. Those who are individualists argue that famous few create and last the history, but people who are collectivists hold a view that it is the groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten make the great events possible. However, recognizing the importance of the two, I believe they are equally important to our history research.

In the realm of science, a multitude of significant events was achieved by individuals. Great scientists create and invent by their particular wisdom and talent from non-existence to creation and promote the progress of human being. History is fully filled with such examples, when we retrospect the origin of mechanism, enjoying daily convenience brought by the advanced equipment, Newton, one of the greatest physical scientists, comes to our mind immediately. When we look back the vital events happened in energy and the whole area of physics, we, undoubtedly, think about Einstein who gave indelible contribution to our world. When we consider the history of biological evolution and astronomy, it is Darwin and Copernicus leading us to the long history. These giants in science achieve great success solely by their individual creation. These famous few constitute large part of the science history.

When it comes to music and art areas, famous few are also remembered and researched by the posterity. But the fruitions of former people have much effect on the musician’s and artist’s creation. Since the function of music and art, unlike science, is to absorb and develop, the maestros will get inspirations from the existent opus which may finished by group of people, then create and express in a new form. Take Beethoven’s music for example; if he did not get edification in the rhythm in his early age, he would not create a series of symphonies which is the huge wealth of human history. Hence, as the personal artist talent is praised by common people, we should be recognizance of influences from other individuals.

In social activities, it is mass execute and complete the activity, although leaded by individuals. As a great militarist put it “It is right the desperate soldiers and populaces other the few general brought our nation to liberation”. It is the groups of soldiers and populaces, in a united union, fighting in the battlefield, gain the one by one victory which is rested on people mind forever.

Moreover, Group and individuals are inseparable parts, we should not overlook the importance of individuals as we are in a group, and group as we are welcomed by individuals. Only personal efforts, grave and persistence can promote the advance of history, and the success become to reality in a union.

In general, without the extraordinary people, we will find, when we retrospect, history is made up of black and while, without the group of people whose name predestined to be oblivious, our history will be single and monotonous.  Only combination can make our world colorful. Famous few and group of people whose identities have been long forgotten make the history events and trends possible mutually, hence we should pay equal emphasis when study our past days.

---540words

[ 本帖最后由 flycc28 于 2006-8-21 13:21 编辑 ]

fingerliUID: 2130195

ISSUE48"The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten."
历史研究过于关注个人。历史上最有意义的事件和潮流能够成为可能不是因为几个少数的名人而是一些身份早就被淡忘的人群。
1)        In the realm of science, a multitude of significant events was achieved by individuals. Such as Newton, Einstein, Darwin, and Copernicus.
2)        When it comes to music and art areas, famous few attained their success through personal artistic talent and effort, of which took the fruit of former people.
3)        In social activities, it is the masses that complete the events, although leaded by individuals.
4)        Group and individuals are inseparable parts.
There is a public controversy nowadays over the issue of which of the group and individuals should be paid more emphasis on when study history. Those who are去掉算了 individualists argue that famous few create and last the history, but people who are一样处理 collectivists hold a view that it is the groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten make the great events possible. However, recognizing the importance of the two, I believe they are equally important to our history research.

In the realm of science, a multitude of significant events was achieved by individuals. Great scientists create and invent by their particular wisdom and talent from non-existence to creation 这样表达你读起来好吗？and promote the progress of human being. History is fully filled with such examples, when we retrospect the origin of mechanism, enjoying daily convenience brought by the advanced equipment,这句没用 Newton, one of the greatest physical scientists, comes to our mind immediately. When we look back the vital events happened in energy and the whole area of physics, we, undoubtedly, think about Einstein who gave indelible contribution to our world. When we consider the history of biological evolution and astronomy, it is Darwin and Copernicus leading us to the long history. These giants in science achieve great success solely by their individual creation. These famous few constitute large part of the science history.展开做的不太好，感觉只有事例占篇幅了，分析真的真的很淡薄，也是个人看法
还有语言感觉略显生硬
When it comes to music and art areas, famous few are also remembered and researched by the posterity. But the fruitions of former people have much effect on the musician’s and artist’s creation. Since the function of music and art, unlike science, is to absorb and develop, the maestros will get inspirations from the existent opus which may finished by group of people, then create and express in a new form. Take Beethoven’s music for example; if he did not get edification in the rhythm in his early age, he would not create a series of symphonies which is the huge wealth of human history. Hence, as the personal artist talent is praised by common people, we should be recognizance of influences from other individuals.
唉，还是觉得句子读来…然后是也许你词汇量大的缘故把，小词很多都用大词表示了
In social activities, it is mass execute and complete the activity, although leaded by individuals. As a great militarist put it “It is right the desperate soldiers and populaces other the few general brought our nation to liberation”. It is the groups of soldiers and populaces, in a united union, fighting in the battlefield, gain the one by one victory which is rested on people mind forever.

Moreover, Group and individuals are inseparable parts, we should not overlook the importance of individuals as we are in a group, and group as we are welcomed by individuals. Only personal efforts, grave and persistence can promote the advance of history, and the success become to reality in a union.

In general, without the extraordinary people, we will find, when we retrospect, history is made up of black and while, without the group of people whose name predestined to be oblivious, our history will be single and monotonous.  Only combination can make our world colorful. Famous few and group of people whose identities have been long forgotten make the history events and trends possible mutually, hence we should pay equal emphasis when study our past days.呵呵，模板模板，老美一眼就识破了把？不过我的也一样，这样分数肯定不会低，因为没什么破绽
总的看来，可能是写的太匆促的缘故把，每一点的论证都没有充分的展开，真的很单薄埃，个人看法，版权所有，引用请注明出处，寄托网友所创，好多废话，哈哈

[ 本帖最后由 fingerli 于 2006-8-21 21:28 编辑 ]

xuxinyunUID: 2198143

There is a public controversy nowadays over the issue of (that) which of the group and individuals should be paid more emphasis on when study history. Those who are individualists argue that famous few create and last the history, but people who are collectivists hold a view that it is the groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten make the great events possible. However, recognizing the importance of the two（这里的句子，根据你后面的论证，不是考虑到两者的重要性，而是主要说要分开领域来看，所以建议改成：根据不用领域的不同的情况以及两者都有的重要性，这样意思的句子会比较跟后面对应）, I believe (recommend,以前上课时侯老师说believe比较口语化，表达主观意愿多点， 而不客观) they are equally important to our history research.

In the realm of science, a multitude of significant events was（were） achieved by individuals. Great scientists create and invent by their particular wisdom and talent from non-existence to creation and promote the progress of human being. History is fully filled with such examples, when we retrospect the origin of mechanism, enjoying daily convenience brought by the advanced equipment, Newton, one of the greatest physical scientists, comes to our mind immediately. When we look back the vital events happened in energy and the whole area of physics, we, undoubtedly, think about Einstein who gave indelible contribution to our world. When we consider the history of biological evolution and astronomy, it is Darwin and Copernicus leading us to the long history. These giants in science achieve great success solely by their individual creation. (这段写得蛮赞的)These famous few constitute large part (parts) of the science history.

When it comes to music and art areas, famous few are also remembered and researched by the posterity. But the fruitions of former people have much effect on the musician’s and artist’s creation. Since the function of music and art, unlike science, is to absorb and develop, the maestros will get inspirations from the existent opus which may finished by group of people, then create and express in a new form. Take Beethoven’s music for example; if he did not get edification in the rhythm in his early age, he would not create a series of symphonies which is the huge wealth of human history. Hence, as the personal artist talent is praised by common people, we should be recognizance of influences from other individuals.

In social activities, it is mass execute and complete the activity, although leaded by individuals. As a great militarist put it “It is right the desperate soldiers and populaces other the few general brought our nation to liberation”. It is the groups of soldiers and populaces, in a united union, fighting in the battlefield, gain the one by one victory which is rested on people mind forever.

Moreover, Group and individuals are inseparable parts, we should not overlook the importance of individuals as we are in a group, and group as we are welcomed by individuals. Only personal efforts, grave and persistence can promote the advance of history, and the success become to reality in a union.(感觉这里跟上面的连接得有点不够，可以在开头加一句说，“尽管在每个领域，个人和普通人群所起的作用不用，但它们都是不可替代的，”再接着说we should not overlook…..)
In general, without the extraordinary people, we will find, when we retrospect, history is made up of black and while（white）, without the group of people whose name predestined to be oblivious, our history will be single and monotonous.  Only combination can make our world colorful. Famous few and group of people whose identities have been long forgotten make the history events and trends possible mutually, hence we should pay equal emphasis when study our past days.

[ 本帖最后由 xuxinyun 于 2006-8-21 20:36 编辑 ]

jinzhemingUID: 2224073

In the realm of science, a multitude of significant events was achieved by individuals. Great scientists create and invent by their particular wisdom and talent from non-existence to creation and promote the progress of human being. History is fully filled with such examples, when we retrospect the origin of mechanism, enjoying daily convenience brought by the advanced equipment, Newton, one of the greatest physical scientists, comes to our mind immediately. When we look back /on/the vital events happened/ happened 这个词可以不要/in energy and the whole area of physics, we, undoubtedly, think about Einstein who gave indelible contribution to our world. When we consider the history of biological evolution and astronomy, it is Darwin and Copernicus leading us to the long history. These giants in science achieve great success solely（好绝对啊） by their individual creation. These famous few constitute large part of the science history.

When it comes to music and art areas, famous few are also remembered and researched by the posterity. But the fruitions of former people have much effect on the musician’s and artist’s creation. Since the function of music and art, unlike science, is to absorb and develop, the maestros will get inspirations from the existent opus which may finished /have been finished/by group of people, then create and express in a new form. Take Beethoven’s music for example; if he did not get edification in the rhythm in his early age, he would not create a series of symphonies which is the huge wealth of human history. Hence, as the personal/individual/artist talent is praised by common people, we should be recognizance?? of influences from other individuals.

In social activities, it is mass execute and complete the activity(啥意思？), although leaded by individuals. As a great militarist put it “It is right the desperate soldiers and populaces other the few general brought our nation to liberation”. It is the groups of soldiers and populaces, in a united union, fighting in the battlefield, gain the one by one victory which is rested on people/’s/ mind forever.

Moreover, Group and individuals are inseparable parts, we should not overlook the importance of individuals as we are in a group, and group as we are welcomed by individuals. Only personal efforts, grave？？ and persistence can promote the advance of history, and the success become to reality in a union.

In general, without the extraordinary people, we will find, when we retrospect, history is made up of black and while,(white). Without the group of people whose name predestined to be oblivious, our history will be single and monotonous.  Only combination can make our world colorful. Famous few and group of people whose identities have been long forgotten make the history events and trends possible mutually, hence we should pay equal emphasis when study(studying) our past days.
(我觉得在讲The most significant events and trends in history were made possible by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten.时不是很有力度，如果举几个例子就好了)
还有觉得从第二段到第三段的转变，即从个人—》个人与集体的结合有些突然。

flycc28UID: 2164453

There is a public controversy nowadays over the issue of which of the group and individuals should be paid more emphasis on when study history. Those individualists argue that famous few create and last the history, but people collectivists hold a view that it is the populace whose identities have long been forgotten make the great events possible. However, as far as I am concerned, whether we pay more attention on the few elite or mass should be determined by case by case analysis.

In the realm of science, a multitude of significant events was achieved by individuals. Great scientists create and invent by their particular wisdom and talent, promoting the progress of human being. History is fully filled with such examples, when we retrospect the origin of mechanism, Newton, one of the greatest physical scientists, comes to our mind immediately. When we look back the vital events happened in energy and the whole area of physics, we, undoubtedly, think about Einstein who gave indelible contribution to our world. When we consider the history of biological evolution and astronomy, it is Darwin and Copernicus leading us to the long history. These giants in science achieve great success solely by their individual creation. These elites spur the whole improvement of respective areas. These famous few constitute large part of the science history.

It is true that famous few play a major part in the river of history, but it does not mean that these elite are superior to the multitude. No one can deny the function of the powerful groups. They are the core impetus of our society. Their generation of individual force impulses the advancement of human being. Especially for some far-reaching revolutions, the mass’s effects are indispensable. Consider, February Revolution –the crucial revolution in France, if there were no generation of the mass organized spontaneously, then the tyranny of feudal domination would not be toppled by only few neonatal bourgeoisies who had little power and courage in that era. It is the public, who brought France to the way of Capitalism, and France ultimately advanced to a vigorous and powerful society.  

In social activities, it is mass executing and completing the activity, although leaded by individuals. As a great militarist put it “It is right the desperate soldiers and populaces other than the few general brought our nation to liberation”. It is the groups of soldiers and populaces, in a united union, fighting in the battlefield, gain the one by one victory which is rested on people mind forever.

Moreover, Group and individuals are inseparable parts, we should not overlook the importance of individuals as we are in a group, and group as we are welcomed by individuals. Only personal efforts, grave and persistence can promote the advance of history, and the success become to reality in a union.

In general, without the extraordinary people, we will find, when we retrospect, history is made up of black and white, without the group of people whose name predestined to be oblivious, our history will be single and monotonous.  Only combination can make our world colorful. Famous few and group of people whose identities have been long forgotten make the history events and trends possible mutually, hence we should pay equal emphasis when study our past days.