Argument17 【CSMY作文互改小组】第二次作业 欢迎互改

yiran27UID: 2201423

Argument17: The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Walnut Grove town newspaper.
'Walnut Grove's town council has advocated switching from EZ Disposal (which has had the contract for trash collection services in Walnut Grove for the past ten years) to ABC Waste, because EZ recently raised its monthly fee from $2,000 to $2,500 a month, whereas ABC's fee is still $2,000. But the town council is mistaken; we should continue using EZ. EZ collects trash twice a week, while ABC collects only once. Moreover, EZ—which, like ABC, currently has a fleet of 20 trucks—has ordered additional trucks. Finally, EZ provides exceptional service: 80 percent of respondents to last year's town survey agreed that they were 'satisfied' with EZ's performance.'

Word：462   time：35


提供：
1、  没有必要两天收一次垃圾，额外的费用不值得。
2、  额外的卡车也许用在其他的地方
3、  调查的可信度值得怀疑

The letter showed us three reasons to claim that we should still use EZ. However, nearly most of them has little value to prove its argument .I will explain in following statements.

The first reason is EZ collects trash twice a week, while ABC collects only once. Apparently the twice a week may help us to keep the town cleaner, so if the ABC also clean twice a week, I believe the author will no doubt claim that we should use ABC, while concerning another factor that the EZ charge $2,500 a month, we should make the decision carefully. Dose the town really need to collect trash twice a week? Dose the extra fee is really worthwhile? Maybe the people in the town thoroughly clean their house once a week, then there will be many trash produce. In this situation, there is not many trash in the weekday, when people are busy doing their work and have no time to clean their house, and trash is throw out only at weekends. In that case, once collect trash once a week is enough.

The second reason is that EZ has ordered additional trucks. The author concedes that if EZ has order additional trucks, our environment will be more comfortable, so we should use EZ .Nevertheless, in my opinion, the additional trucks is not the cause of promoting but the cause of additional money .No one know why they order additional trucks, maybe their trucks has broken or they began to in charge of the trash of other town, but no sense to our town.

The last reason is EZ provides exceptional service: 80 percent of respondents to last year's town survey agreed that they were 'satisfied' with EZ's performance .This is the most ridiculous reason, because it is a common unfair poll .Last year, our town is serviced by EZ, so the respondents make the conclusion without comparing with other company .If they are serviced by ABC, they will be more satisfied. The opinion of the left 20 percent is very important too, because maybe they are the most honest people to say the truth that EZ do bad service and the 80 percent is forced to agree that they feel satisfied or the investigators only use the data from the 'satisfied' respondents.

Another situation must be included that although the resident here is satisfied with EZ, but when they need to pay more money, do they still satisfied? Maybe they will feel unworthy and reject to pay extra money.

In conclusion, we can not make a decision if we can not rule out those possible situations above. There is still need a large amount of survey before we make final decision.


argument 还没有形成自己很好的模板,加上马上要考试了,所以实在是~~!
上次组长说要讲求质量,我尽量,不过现在时间实在是太紧了,还请修改的同学见谅哈~~!

[ 本帖最后由 yiran27 于 2007-1-12 23:22 编辑 ]

staroceanUID: 2271193

The letter showed us three reasons to claim that we should still use EZ. However, nearly most（almost all） of them has little value to prove its(指代的是谁呢？reasons?那their吧) argument .I will explain in following statements.

The first reason is EZ collects trash twice a week, while ABC collects only once. Apparently the twice a week may help us to keep the town cleaner, so if the ABC also clean twice a week, I believe the author will no doubt claim that we should use ABC, while concerning another factor that the EZ charge $2,500 a month, we should make the decision carefully. Dose the town really need to collect trash twice a week? Dose the extra fee is really worthwhile? Maybe the people in the town thoroughly clean their house once a week, then there will be many trash produce（两个动词）. In this situation, there is not many trash in the weekday, when people are busy doing their work and have no time to clean their house, and trash is throw out only at weekends. In that case, once collect trash once（collect once trash a week） a week is enough.（我觉得这段前面的废话很多，什么如果abc也收两次之类的，没必要写。）

The second reason is that EZ has ordered additional trucks. The author concedes（不好，不如换成assume之类的） that if EZ has order additional trucks, our environment will be more comfortable, so we should use EZ .Nevertheless, in my opinion, the additional trucks is not the cause of promoting but the cause of additional money .No one know why they order（ed） additional trucks, maybe their trucks has（have been） broken or they began to in charge of the trash of other town, but （好像应该有动词）no sense to our town.

The last reason is(that) EZ provides exceptional service: 80 percent of respondents to last year's town survey agreed that they were 'satisfied' with EZ's performance .This is the most ridiculous reason, because it is a common unfair poll .Last year, our town is serviced by EZ, so the respondents make the conclusion without comparing with other company .If they are serviced by ABC, they will(may) be more satisfied. The opinion of the left 20 percent is very important too, because maybe they are the most honest people to say the truth that EZ do bad service and the 80 percent is forced (理由偏激，谁逼他们阿)to agree that they feel satisfied or the investigators only use the data from the 'satisfied' respondents.（关于调查能不能证明应该用ez。有两个问题，1。调查本身的可靠程度。2。就算调查可靠，是不是人们不会更满意abc，应该分来来写着两个，楼主混在一起了。另外调查的可靠度上，应该说是不是样本不全，样本空间不够大，是不是有人随便填的，说谁被迫填的有点过分了。）

Another situation must be included that although the residents here is satisfied with EZ, but when they （楼主在前面用的是we应该用ez怎么又变了）need to pay more money, do they still satisfied? Maybe they will feel unworthy and reject to pay extra money.（这个接着上面写就好了，不用另分一段）

In conclusion, we can not make a decision if we can not （cannot）rule out those possible situations above. There is still need a large amount of survey before we make（a） final decision.

我觉得分析题目，找好顺序和结构是十分重要的。希望楼主能更多些分析。
另外我们看过别人用reason的，不知道可不可以用。
这里有我的一点分析，写得不好，但还是希望有所帮助，
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=586228&highlight=

[ 本帖最后由 starocean 于 2007-1-6 21:58 编辑 ]

yiran27UID: 2201423

谢谢指点，
我过段时间系统来整理一下argument的写法，知识储备不多，作文实在是不能短时间提高的东东啊～～

加油！！呵呵