Argument71 【CSMY作文互改第四小组】自己的练习----继续求拍

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ARGUMENT71 - Copper occurs in nature mixed with other minerals and valuable metals in ore, and the proportion of copper in the ore can vary considerably. Until fairly recently, the only way to extract pure copper from ore was by using a process that requires large amounts of electric energy, especially if the proportion of copper in the ore is low. New copper-extracting technologies can use up to 40 percent less electricity than the older method to process the same amount of raw ore, especially when the proportion of copper in the ore is high. Therefore, we can expect the amount of electricity used by the copper-extraction industry to decline significantly.
WORDS: 328         TIME: 上午 12:30:00          DATE: 2007-1-20
Second edition: 421words【限时未成功】

The author draws a conclusion that the amount of electricity used by the copper-extraction industry will decline significantly. To support his conclusion, the author cites a evidence that there is a new technology that save electricity. Close scrutiny of the argument reveals that there are several flaws as follows.

To begin with, whether the new copper-extracting technologies can save electricity is open to question. The author only emphasizes that the new technology can use up to 40 percent less electricity than the older method to process the same amount of raw ore under the circumstance that the proportion of copper is high. Since the proportion of copper in the ore can vary considerably, so perhaps this new technology will not show its strength in the case that the proportion is low. Even it will consume more electricity than do the old method. In addition, so how about its efficiency in the aspects of extracting copper from the same amount of ore, especially comparing to the old method? It is quietly possible that the copper produced by this new means is far less than the one by the old method.

Secondly, how about the cost of making using of the new technology? and how about its application to the copper-extracting industry? If factories in the copper-extracting industry plan to adopt the new technology, perhaps they will have to purchase some new equipments and the using right of the new technology, which will probably give rise to the increase of operational cost. So it is possible that many factories will not adopt this new technology. what is more, as mentioned in the second paragraph, it is entirely possible that its efficiency of extracting copper is far less than the old method, which will also force many factories abstain the new technology.

Thirdly, even granted that the new technology has the strength as mentioned in the argument and will been adopted by the copper-extracting industry. If the production of copper will increase greatly, which will lead to the amount of electricity consumed by the copper-extracting industry soaring. So this also undermines the author's conclusion that the amount of electricity consumed in the copper-extracting industry will enjoy decrease significant.

In sum, the author's conclusion is unpersuasive. To bolster his conclusion, Far more detailed research and survey should be exerted to provide believable information showing that the new technology is indeed superior to the old one and will been adopted extensively. In addition, the production of the copper will not experience enormous increase in the future.