Issue36 四海一家小组 第二次作业

moonappleUID: 2271248

Issue 36  The greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries. 一个人是否伟大只能是由后人评定,而非他同时代的人

提纲：1 观点：时间会让人把事件和人放在历史环境中，从长远角度评价一个人
      2 很久以后被证明是领域中英雄的人，因为同时代人的近视和浮躁，当时不显著，甚至死去。
      3 因为同时代的人易被利益蒙蔽，很多一时看很好的事情不见得对。
      4 总结，时间把世俗因素洗去，人们才能从历史构架中看问题。

To a great extent it is overstated that the judgment of an individual can "only" made by people living after him. However, on balance, I tend to agree with the speaker. Deciding greatness is a serious and righteous procedure which is better to implement after the influence, effects, and achievements have appeared gradually. Even to a person, apparently, he is expected to alter the perceptions of other people gradually as time passing by. Only time can calm people down and offer a new point of view towards a people; and only time can provide us real results of a human events by setting the events in  historical context; and it is time that brings us changed views of the effects in a long run after even hundreds if not thousands of years.

There are tremendous amount of information written in the history books afford us the sense that people obscuring in his time does not mean a denial to his right. We now have known that in mathematics, numbers are divided into two different parts: the rational and the irrational; while two thousand and five hundred years ago, a student called Hippasus had found the existence of irrational numbers, was cast into the sea with the purpose of keeping the famous Pythagoras' belief that "there is only one kind of number–rational number". In addition, we have thought that Socrates is one of the most picturesque and influential figures in the brilliant society of the Athens of the fifth century B.C; however, the old man was condemned to death on the charge of "undermining the religion of the state and corrupting its youth" by a so-called democratic society. Moreover, it is familiar for us to see a doctor strictly washing hands before surgery; surprisingly Semmelweis’ request of doctors should clean their hands with chlorinated lime before examining patients was totally ignored in the time of almost one hundred years ago, and at the end our respectable doctor died of mental disease. It would also be unimaginable that Ohm, later being admired as a famous German physicist, even can not find a position in a college in his life. It is all because of our short-sighted and impatient that we can not find a glimpse of a great mind. The barriers that the contemporaries confront with come from every field relating to politics, economy, culture, and personal prejudice as well. Fortunately, time have passed and new concepts have instilling in us with a historical point. Plenty of later generations attest the truth of our hero’s' words which is thought to be unreasonable in their lifetime.

Sometimes people can not make a right comment in front of the short-term interest. Pouring polluted water into a natural river may cut cost to a paper factory, but apparently a stupid idea to all people's living. A specific example will underscore the point vividly: in 1867, the Czar of Russia sold Alaska in a price of more than 7 million dollars to America, nearly two cents per acre. Everyone consider that the Czar had done a profitable business while the American said it was their secretary of State Seward's Folly. After centuries the wise Czar at that time is considered to be unbelievable absurd. Nowadays, the worth of products made in Alaska during a simple day to some degree can buy another "Alaska" form the Czar of Russian. Interest is not always worthwhile to chase under some conditions. It is the later people without any gains and losses relationship to the historical events, can see the Czar much more creditable.

Being obstructed by the human nature which is called short-sighted and impatient and greedy more or less, contemporaries rarely judge others without a biased lens based on our own paradigm. Only when time have washed all secular factors off including politics, personal prejudice, short sight, and interests, can the later generations preserve what is the truth and, who is actually a true hero--in a calm, clear, justice, objective and history achievement-rooted frame of reference.

[ 本帖最后由 moonapple 于 2007-2-2 18:42 编辑 ]

yuzhongwumeiUID: 2155222

To a great extent it is overstated that the judgment of an individual can "only" made by people living after him. However, on balance, I tend to agree with the speaker. Deciding greatness is a serious and righteous感觉不太对啊 procedure which is better to implement after the influence, effects, and achievements have appeared gradually. Even to a person, apparently, he is expected to alter the perceptions of other people gradually as time passing by. Only time can calm people down and offer a new point of view towards a people; and only time can provide us real results of a human events by setting the events in  historical context; and it is time that brings us changed views of the effects in a long run after even hundreds if not thousands of years.开头段写得真好

There are tremendous amount of information written in the history books afford us the sense that people obscuring in his time does not mean a denial to his right. (There are tremendous amount of information recorded in the history books which reminds us that people obscuring in his time does not mean a denial to his right.) We now have known that in mathematics, numbers are divided into two different parts: the rational and the irrational; while two thousand and five hundred years ago, a student called Hippasus had found the existence of irrational numbers, (好象应该加个主语,或者连词)was cast into the sea with the purpose of keeping the famous Pythagoras' belief that "there is only one kind of number–rational number". In addition, we have thought (为什么喜欢用完成时啊,没道理啊~~,再说不一定要强调第一人称啊,直接说事就行了)that Socrates is one of the most picturesque and influential figures in the brilliant society of the Athens of the fifth century B.C; however, the old man was condemned to death on ?the charge of "undermining the religion of the state and corrupting its youth" by a so-called democratic society. Moreover, it is familiar for us to see a doctor strictly(carefully就行吧) washing hands before surgery; surprisingly Semmelweis’ request of doctors should clean their hands with chlorinated lime before examining patients was totally ignored in the time of almost one hundred years ago, and at the end (finally) our (?人称不能乱用吧)respectable doctor died of mental disease. It would also be unimaginable that Ohm, later being admired as a famous German physicist, even can not find a position in a college in his life. It is all because of our short-sighted and impatient不能用形容词,要用名词 that we can not find a glimpse of a great mind.此句有点武断吧 The barriers that the contemporaries confront with come from every field relating to politics, economy, culture, and personal prejudice as well. Fortunately, time have passed and new concepts have instilling in us with a historical point. Plenty of later generations attest the truth of our hero’s' words? which is注意时态啊 thought to be unreasonable in their lifetime. 楼主的语言好到位啊,句式流畅,结构丰富,副词运用巧妙,值得学习啊

Sometimes people can not make a right comment in front of the short-term interest. Pouring polluted water into a natural river may cut cost to a paper factory, but apparently a stupid idea to all people's living. A specific example will underscore the point vividly: in 1867, the Czar of Russia sold Alaska in a price of more than 7 million dollars to America, nearly two cents per acre. Everyone consider that the Czar had done a profitable business while the American said it was their secretary of State Seward's Folly. After centuries the wise Czar at that time is considered to be unbelievable 副词absurd. Nowadays, the worth(value) of products made in Alaska during a simple day to some degree can buy(这是人发出的动作,而主语是价值) another "Alaska" form the Czar of Russian. Interest is not always worthwhile to chase under some conditions. It is the later people without any gains and losses relationship to the historical events, can see the Czar much more creditable.(用强调句应该是it is ~~who~~, 要不就是病句了,另外此句也不怎么顺)

Being obstructed by the human nature which is called short-sighted and impatient and greedy more or less, contemporaries rarely judge others without a biased lens based on our own paradigm.Only when time have washed all secular factors off including politics, personal prejudice, short sight, and interests, can the later generations preserve what is the truth and, who is actually a true hero--in a calm, clear, justice, objective and history achievement-rooted frame of reference.(语法错误,倒装不对)

可以看出楼主的语言功底很深,语感很好,思维缜密且连贯,是块GRE的好料,有发展
我改的也不知道是不是都正确,要是有不同意见欢迎指点啊,我得向你好好学习~~

moonappleUID: 2271248

谢谢楼上的修改，看得出语言把握感的非常强……我也觉得有的话读了自己都痛苦，我一定会改进的！:)关于最后一段的修改，能否具体给点意见？已从短消息发过去，请查收:)

rny82UID: 2293947

the old man was condemned to death on the charge of "undermining the religion of the state and corrupting its youth" by a so-called democratic society还是楼主对，on the charge of 以……罪名

it is familiar for us to see a doctor strictly washing hands before surgery; 中的washing 改为scrubbing，这样比较地道。

surprisingly Semmelweis’ request of doctors should clean their hands with chlorinated lime before examining patients was totally ignored in the time of almost one hundred years ago,楼主的意思表达的很明白了，就是例子不太恰当，因为直到今天医生在检查病人之前也是不用漂白粉洗手的。

我个人没看出最后一段的毛病，请moonapple和yuzhongwumei 把讨论的结果公布一下以便学习可以么？多谢噻。

楼主写的真好，有读北美范文的感觉，太棒了，太羡慕了，太焦急了。

[ 本帖最后由 rny82 于 2007-2-3 20:49 编辑 ]

moonappleUID: 2271248

rny82，你知识面很广啊~谢谢！不过我也是写得慢……讨论后觉得最后一段倒装应该是没问题，就是句子长了点，也许我应该换一种表达方法……
最近上网时间有限，交流估计会少，见谅！:)

vincentshinUID: 2246176

顶！希望看到LZ的更多好文。看的出LZ对英语的整体构造相当熟悉。