Argument147 【Persistence 小组】第二次作业

vinnieUID: 2104933

Argument 147
The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.
Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."
Outline:
1.        调查显示，玩家倾向于需要最先进电脑，活灵活现的游戏。但是没有具体数据支持。而且购买电脑是需要经济条件的
2        10-25岁是最喜欢玩游戏的年龄，但是所面临的竞争也越大。
3        游戏销量是由很多具体的原因造成的。

正文
         In the following editorial, the author predicts that although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, they are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months. To support this, author points out the Whirlwind video games are the kinds of most popular ones through survey. And all the Whirlwind video games face the players whose ages are between 10 and 25. This age-group is most likely to play video games. As a result, the sales of games will soon increase. But in my opinion, the editorial relies on a number of assumptions and is therefore unconvincing.
         First, through the survey, author says the most important in a video game is which can provide lifelike graphics, and require the most up-to-date computers. We assume the conclusion of the survey first. But it’s unsure saying the games must be prevailing as it has the most important features in a video game. We all know, the development of the computer is quite fast. The most up-to-date computers is so expensive and after one year, they may be replaced by new ones. Are there many people spending so much money in buying newest computers only for playing games? In our daily life, the most prevailing video games are the simple ones only for people consuming their free time. Whirlwind video game maybe very complex and requires up-to-date computers. It doesn’t mean that they must be in good sale. One reason is that many people can’t afford the price of the newest computer. The other one is that many people have no intention to waste much time on a complex one. They only need games which can relax them during study and work.
        Secondly, the editorial said the people between age of 10 and 25 are most likely to play games. I think this conclusion is likely to be correct. But the question is that most of the video games nowadays facing people of this age. The competition of this market is quite fierce. Can Whirlwind video games’ advertisement be so good to attract lots of people successfully? It is still a doubt. It is possible that some big companies also provide some good games with low requirements of computer. If so, Whirlwind video games will fail in fierce competition. And I want add a point in addition, most players of that age are students. They can’t make money by own. Parents will not buy an expensive computer to let their children addict to the video game.
       Finally, the sales of video games lie on many fields. For example, the price of the game is an important one. If Whirlwind video game attracts people’s eyes, but price is quite high because of advertisements People will choose to download from internet for free or even give up this game. On the other hand, the sale of video game is highly seasonal. Maybe most players highly addict to a prevailing one like Starcraft. Although Whirlwind video game is also very good but players are unwilling to try new ones. All these aspects can decide whether the sale of a video game is good or not. However, author get conclusion partially from half-baked information.
       In conclusion, the editorial is unconvincing from stands. To strengthen this argument, the author needs to find out the price of the computer which can run Whirlwind video games and the percentage of the players owning one. The author also must ensure that when the games go into the market it can win in the fierce competition. In order to get a definite conclusion, further investigation is required. We need to know about information about price and the seasonal feature of the game market.   .

Andy85UID: 2250503

In the following editorialfollowing or above, the author predicts that although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, they are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months. To support this, the author points out the Whirlwind video games are the kinds of most popular ones through according to survey. And all the Whirlwind video games face aim at the players whose ages are between 10 andto 25. This age-group is most likely to play video games. As a result, the sales of games will soon increase. But in my opinion, the editorial relies on a number of assumptions and is therefore unconvincing.
         First, through the survey, author says the most important in a video game is which that they can provide lifelike graphics, and require the most up-to-date computers. We assume the conclusion of the survey first. 这句话完整么？ But it’s unsure saying to say the games must be prevailing as it has the most important features in a video game. We all know, the development of the computer is quite fast. The most up-to-date computers is are so expensive and after one year, they may be replaced by new ones. Are there many people spending so much money in buying newest computers only for playing games? In our daily life, the most prevailing video games are the simple ones only for people consuming their free time. 这是什么说法？没见过，中式英语？ Whirlwind video game maybe very complex and requires,去掉 up-to-date computers. It doesn’t mean that they must be in good sale. One reason is that many people can’t afford the price of the newest computer. The other one is that many people have no intention to waste much time on a complex one. They only need games which can relax them during after study and work.
        Secondly, the editorial said the people between age of 10 and 25 are most likely to play games. I think this conclusion is likely to be correct. But the question is that most of the video games nowadays facing directed at people of this age. The competition of this market is quite fierce. Can Whirlwind video games’ advertisement be so good impressive as to attract lots of people successfully? It is still a doubt. It is possible that some big companies also provide some good 不要总是用这个good，太简单的词了 games with low requirements of computer. If so, Whirlwind video games will fail in fierce competition. And I want to add a point in addition, most players of that age are students. They can’t make money by own 应该是by one’s own吧？. Parents will not buy an expensive computer to let their children addictted to the video game.
       Finally, the sales of video games lie on many fields. For example, the price of the game is an important one factor. If Whirlwind video game attracts people’s eyes, but the price is quite high because of advertisements People will choose to download it from internet for free or even give up this game. On the other hand, the sale of video game is highly seasonal 这个词合适么？. Maybe most players highly addict to a prevailing one like Star craft. Although Whirlwind video game is also very good excellent but players arewould be Argument里语气应该不要太绝对吧 unwilling to try new ones. All these aspects can decide whether the sale of a video game is good or not. However, author get conclusion partially from half-baked information.
       In conclusion, the editorial is unconvincing from stands. To strengthen this argument, the author needs to find out the price of the computer which can run Whirlwind video games and the percentage of the players owning one. The author also must ensure that when the games go into the market it can win in the fierce competition. In order to get a definite conclusion, further investigation is required. We need to know about去掉more information about price and the seasonal feature of the game market.  
     最大的问题是攻击点有点乱，有凑字数的嫌疑哦！^_^