Issue242 【0706G－LOVEAW】第三次模考 by iq28

iq28UID: 2152875

考试i抽到这种题目写到这种水平就满足了...
到现在模考3次6个的题目没有一个是写过的...

TOPIC: ISSUE242 - "Societies should try to save every plant and animal species, regardless of the expense to humans in effort, time, and financial well-being."
WORDS: 642          TIME: 0:40:00          DATE: 2007-3-9

There is no denying that the environment plays a vital role in permitting human society a lasting prosperous future and obviously the plants and animal species are primary part of environment; however, this does not equal to that we should preserve environment including those creatures at any cost. Without careful and rational consideration, the undue imbalance policy inclined to environmental preservation will bring about disorder or even mayhem to the human society.

Although we cannot emphasis the significance of protecting those species too much, we should sustain the daily lives of the members of the human society first, rather than take animals or plants in advance. We acknowledge the extinctions of those creatures may seriously deteriorate the ecology and then the environment in the long run, but human always have to face the emergent events and problems first. Famine, violence, drugs need social resources to diminish; education, medical and employment also need social resources to improve. If these social resources including time, labors and money are already insufficient for those social emergencies, then blindly spending such precious resources on animals or plants seems cruel to those humans who are suffering due to the material shortages. At last the preservation project should benefit the human beings. This is apparently the ultimate goal of the whole environment protection. Before we pursue the lasting future which relies on the protection, we should survive first. Therefore, simply try to save every plant and animal species regardless of the costs is irrational, especially when the society can hardly sustain itself.

In the developed nations, such social emergencies may be not so significant. In such case it is the task of government have a budget not so tight to support the preservation project. To preservation the plants and animals may keep the balance of the ecology systems, and provide the scientists with valuable study samples to research the creatures on the earth, the achievement of which may further serve the human society. What is more, besides the aspect of material benefits, human can also acquire spiritual satisfaction in the preservation process. Although humans are superior to animals and plants, we at last are creatures like them. We may feel comfortable to save those dangerous creatures, especially those who has distinguished or cute features, like panda and liver pine. Just as mentioned above, when the society has solved its present emergencies, it is acceptable or even inevitable for the society to spare its effort to help those plants and animals.

However, this conclusion still does not mean that the expenditures on the protection project is unlimited, even when the society is rich. To protect the environment is not as naive as someone imagines, that once the effort, time or finance have been investigated, the accomplishments can be seen immediately. Whether the protection work will succeed is a complicated issue. Besides these human efforts, the whole environmental which may be more essential in the preservation project should be studied cautiously first before large sums of money being investigated. Otherwise, the achievement may be tiny, or the results may even counter the original purpose of the project, just as the Chinese did in the 1990s. Myriad pandas have been collected from the forests and then cultivated in the research centers. However, lacking basic study of the living habit of panda, those precious animals all died in the research centers, and large sums of money have been wasted. So we should not consider the preservation project as simple as a material investment. Before we take actions, careful study should be conducted in order to save money as well as to save these creatures.

In summary, the author cannot assert that we should protect plants and animals at any costs, especially we humans cannot sustain ourselves. Even in the rich society, we should still take many other factors like the study into consideration before we take actions.

zrrifleUID: 2228857

There is no denying that the environment plays a vital role in permitting human society a lasting prosperous future and obviously the plants and animal species are primary part of environment; however, this does not equal to that we should preserve environment including those creatures at any cost. Without careful and rational consideration, the undue imbalance policy inclined to environmental preservation will bring about disorder or even mayhem to the human society.
意思是明确了,不过是否稍微有点冗长?
Although we cannot emphasis the significance of protecting those species too much, we should sustain the daily lives of the members of the human society first, rather than take animals or plants in advance. (这句话写的有点怪呃?上来这个ALTHOUGH不明白)We acknowledge(admit the better?) the extinctions of those creatures(不要老用THOSE吧) may seriously deteriorate the ecology and then the environment in the long run, but human always have to face the emergent events and problems first. Famine, violence, drugs need social resources to diminish; education, medical and employment also need social resources to improve. If these social resources including time, labors and money are already insufficient for those social emergencies, then blindly spending such precious resources on animals or plants seems cruel to those humans who are suffering due to the material shortages. (我觉得其实到这里你就可以结段了...ast the preservation project should benefit the human beings. (这句话感觉没什么关联啊)is is apparently the ultimate goal of the whole environment protection. Before we pursue the lasting future which relies on the protection, we should survive first. Therefore, simply try to save every plant and animal species regardless of the costs is irrational, especially when the society can hardly sustain itself.
不得不说这一段我看的很晕,我估计你想论证首先我门要考虑人类,但是我觉得你这里变成反反复复的在说你的TS,可能不如直接说社会当前问题的紧迫性,最后再说因此我们不能更多考虑环保不知更好?

he developed nations, such social emergencies may be not so significant. 需要连接词n such case it is the task of government have a budget not so tight to support the preservation project. (这句话稍微有点不顺) preservation the plants and animals may keep the balance of the ecology systems, and provide the scientists with valuable study samples to research the creatures on the earth, the achievement of which may further serve the human society. What is more, besides the aspect of material benefits, human can also acquire spiritual satisfaction in the preservation process. Although humans are superior to animals and plants, we at last are creatures like them. We may feel comfortable to save those dangerous creatures, especially those who has distinguished or cute features, like panda and liver pine. Just as mentioned above, when the society has solved its present emergencies, it is acceptable or even inevitable for the society to spare its effort to help those plants and animals.
恩,这段感觉思路更清楚
wever, this conclusion still does not mean that the expenditures on the protection project is unlimited, even when the society is rich. (我觉你是不是说不要做草率决定更好些)otect the environment is not as naive as someone imagines, that once the effort, time or finance have been investigated, the accomplishments can be seen immediately. Whether the protection work will succeed is a complicated issue. Besides these human efforts, the whole environmental which may be more essential in the preservation project should be studied cautiously first before large sums of money being investigated. Otherwise, the achievement may be tiny, or the results may even counter the original purpose of the project, just as the Chinese did in the 1990s. (建议你换个保护区什么的,你不研究哪来基本知识呀,感觉放研究中心还不是很算保护)   Myriad pandas have been collected from the forests and then cultivated in the research centers. However, lacking basic study of the living habit of panda, those precious animals all died in the research centers, and large sums of money have been wasted. So we should not consider the preservation project as simple as a material investment. Before we take actions, careful study should be conducted in order to save money as well as to save these creatures.

In summary, the author cannot assert that we should protect plants and animals at any costs, especially we humans cannot sustain ourselves. Even in the rich society, we should still take many other factors like the study into consideration before we take actions.
后面都扣住了你的主题,不过我觉得第一段有点漂...另外TS最好再改良一下的样子,大体就是这样,不错的