Issue5【SWEETBOX小组】第一次作业by Jack_Ji

Jack_JiUID: 2340109

希望大家修改一下我的作文,我的英语水平很差:loveliness:  所以麻烦大家了

words:512
time:2:10

"A nation should require all its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college rather than allow schools in
different parts of the nation to determine which academic courses to offer."

When it comes to the discussion concerning the curriculum before college being united or not, I abosolutely agree with the speaker's opinion that a nation should require all its stdudents to study the same national curriculum before they enjoy the compus life rather
than allow schools in different parts of the nation to determine which academic coures to offer as the wish.

Allowing schools in different parts of the nation the freedom to choose the academic coureses means that students from different part
of the country will share various knowledge ,even the informaion.Take the dialect which has been formed in different parts of the
nation for example,the one from the east even can't follow the other coming from the west for their different dialect.It is the dialect
that set the barriers between the people in the same nation for communicating with each other.The similar problem will happen to
appear in the students from different parts of the nation for the different curriculum.Some other problems will rise such as the authrority when the government let schools in different parts of the country to determine their own courses.In general,most govement will
choose the same core curriculum which will not threaten their authrority for the students in order to take controll of the nation which is
benefitial not only to themselves but also the people, for the increasing awearness of the importance to the knowledge.
The same courses before college will have influence on our skills and value.Though we can not force people in our country have the
value , we may set a direction and sampler to tell citzen what is right and what is wrong through the same core curriculum:have
basic influence on people's value especially when they are young.Most of the core curriculum thegovenment chose for their people may be the base of the corriculum in the college.We need no further look on the maths ,most of the desiplines use
maths method to solve problem.A student whose major is computer science will find the importance of the maths they learned before
college. As is known to the people in the computer field, a procedure is the interact results of the
data structure and algorithm.A student who is good at maths will form a good algorithm which will let the procedure more efficient.A real builder will not give gave greater importance on the top floor over the basic floor.The govenment may not strictly focus on the
curriculum for nation.

In my opinion,we indeed require the whole nation to have study the same curriculum before college,but we may give rights to the local govenment which will let them to choose the special curriculum for the student considering the local condition.

To sum up, a nation should require their citizen have the same curriculum which is not only
benefitial for their skills and value, but also for their future learning in college.Flexsible planning for the national curriculum is even more
important,we should call for the special courses for the different parts of the nation which
will have strageic influence on the curriculum for the nations.

sara0522UID: 2336981

When it comes to the discussion concerning the curriculum before college being united or not, I abosolutely agree with the speaker's opinion that a nation should require all its stdudents to study the same national curriculum before they enjoy the compus life rather
than allow schools in different parts of the nation to determine which academic coures to offer as the wish.(开头很简洁,如果是要提点意见的话就是写出点特色,用点好句,其实第一句写得不错)

Allowing schools in different parts of the nation the freedom to choose the academic coureses means that students from different part
of the country will share various knowledge ,even the informaion.(没有递进关系)Take the dialect which has been formed in different parts of the
nation for example,the one from the east even can't follow the other(s) coming from the west for their different dialect(s).It is the dialect
that set the barriers between the people in the same nation for communicating with each other.(这个例子我个人认为不太恰当,因为虽然说有方言,但是与课程无关,我们教的都是中文,就算是老外看来,全国的统一课程未必就能使chicago跟 new york口音一样)The similar problem will happen to
appear in the students from different parts of the nation for the different curriculum.Some other problems will rise such as the authrority when the government let schools in different parts of the country to determine their own courses.In general,most govement will
choose the same core curriculum which will not threaten their authrority for the students in order to take controll of the nation which is
benefitial not only to themselves but also the people, for the increasing awearness of the importance to the knowledge.
The same courses before college will have influence on our skills and value.Though we can not force people in our country have the
value , we may set a direction and sampler to tell citzen what is right and what is wrong through the same core curriculum:have
basic influence on people's value especially when they are young.Most of the core curriculum thegovenment chose for their people may be the base of the corriculum in the college.We need no further look on the maths ,most of the desiplines use
maths method to solve problem.A student whose major is computer science will find the importance of the maths they learned before
college. As is known to the people in the computer field, a procedure is the interact results of the
data structure and algorithm.A student who is good at maths will form a good algorithm which will let the procedure more efficient.A real builder will not give gave greater importance on the top floor over the basic floor.The govenment may not strictly focus on the
curriculum for nation.(这段有一些复数的问题,我不一一指出啦)

In my opinion,we indeed require the whole nation to have study the same curriculum before college,but we may give rights to the local govenment which will let them to choose the special curriculum for the student considering the local condition.(太短啦)

To sum up, a nation should require their citizen have the same curriculum which is not only
benefitial for their skills and value, but also for their future learning in college.Flexsible planning for the national curriculum is even more
important,we should call for the special courses for the different parts of the nation which
will have strageic(精神错乱的?) influence on the curriculum for the nations.
写得满好的啊~~~~道理讲的很到位,学习,共同努力啊

[ 本帖最后由 sara0522 于 2007-5-25 11:56 编辑 ]

Jack_JiUID: 2340109

是strategic,那个打错了 嘿嘿 不是精神错乱的

谢谢sara给我的意见,都很有道理而且中肯  :handshake

倒数第二段,本来想多写一些,但发现其实没什么话好说的,处于无奈就放到那了.

我觉得开头结尾还是用点模板类的语言来丰富一下我那干涩的语言,不知道你的建议是什么?

看来我还得多看看文章来充实一下,水平有限 呵呵