issue5 [sweetbox小组第一次作业]by jordan

wm23UID: 2245087

本人的第一篇Issue,挤了半个下午才写出来,感觉不是很好,欢迎拍砖!

issue5 [sweetbox小组第一次作业]by jordan
TOPIC: ISSUE5 - "A nation should require all its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college rather than allow schools in different parts of the nation to determine which academic courses to offer."


    It is of a great necessity that all of students of a nation should study the same national curriculum when they are at same grade until they enter college, however, the schools in different region of a nation also can provide students some curriculums more individual for complementarities.
    Conformity in the curriculum can provide students the most basic and universal necessary knowledge, and classic culture and common social consciousness. Basal quality is very important for development of people; all of students of a nation study the same core curriculum is benefit for cultivate their basic personal character in a right orientation. The structures of these curriculums usually are rational as a result of they usually designed by the education experts of whole country. So, they can serve to transmit to the students the culture and civilization that nation values and cherishers. They also contain amount of basic knowledge and classic theories that checked by history and accepted by society. These knowledge and theories frequently use in our daily life and can help us to solve many problems. A case in point is that a Nobel Prize winner has gave a address when he won the reward, and he expressed a great appreciation to his kindergarten, for he thinks that is kindergarten taught him the character of share, honest etc. and fundamental knowledge. Furthermore, all of this is the foundation of his success. Consequently, I believe that the students take the same core curriculum can form a substantial base, for their development in the future.
    Another advantage of conformity in the curriculum is that is useful for build a unified system of fundamental knowledge. On the one hand, a unified knowledge system is very convenient for society and colleges to evaluate the students for select them. The students study the same core curriculum can construct a unified knowledge system, and this analogical system will also provide a common criterion for assessment. It is very easy to judge out who is more outstanding. On the other hand, a common knowledge structure means a similar start point. If students enter the college, arrange freshmen’s college curriculums will be easier for the reason of the students in same level of knowledge and ability. To illustrate this point clearly, we can see that in China, students enter college by take same exam, the score of students in exam will have a great influence to whether they can enter the college or not, or the level of the college that they will enter. All of that are depend on the students take the same curriculum, and have a similar extent of knowledge.
    However, we also can not require a absolutely conformity. It just like we do not want to every on have a same appearance. If the school in different part of the nation determine which course to offer too freely, the students may leave out some knowledge that they should mastered and lead to a incomplete development, in contrast, a sheer conformity in the curriculum also will cause the students lack of individuality and creativity. This is more awful than omit some knowledge. A nation without individuality and creativity will make no progress in any aspect. I suppose a combination of conformity in basic curriculum and individual curriculum is more helpful to students. The schools can offer students the same national curriculum at first to ensure they can acquire the most common knowledge and classic theories, meanwhile, the schools in different region of the nation also have right to provide some curriculums that suit for the native situation and students’ condition. It will make the teaching more interesting and improve students from all facets.
    To sum up, all of the students of the nation take the same national curriculum is benefit for their improvement, and convenient for society and college to arrange their work of students. Meanwhile, we should avoid enforcing it extremely too and leave some space for schools to offer some curriculum that fit for their own situation of locality and students, thus we will be in process of achieving our education goal.

[ 本帖最后由 wm23 于 2007-5-25 23:52 编辑 ]

jiangyue011UID: 2340595

It is of a great necessity that all of students of a nation should study the same national curriculum when they are at （添the）same grade until they enter college, however, the schools in different region of a nation also can provide students some curriculums more individual(individually)for complementarities.(开头表明立场)
    Conformity in the curriculum can provide students the most basic and universal necessary knowledge, and classic culture and common social consciousness. Basal quality is very important for development of people; all of students of a nation study the same core curriculum is benefit for(这有语法错误)cultivate their basic personal character in a right orientation. The structures of these curriculums usually are rational as a result of （because, as a result of,好像没这么用的）they usually designed by the education experts of whole country. So, they can serve to transmit to the students the culture and civilization that nation values and cherishers. (cherishes) They also contain amount(a large amount) of basic knowledge and classic theories that checked by history and accepted by society. These knowledge and theories frequently use in our daily life and can help us to solve many problems. A case in point is that a Nobel Prize winner(似乎具体说出这个人来会好些) has gave(given) a address when he won the reward, and he expressed a great appreciation to his kindergarten, for he thinks that is kindergarten taught him the character of share, honest etc. and fundamental knowledge. Furthermore, all of this is the foundation of his success. (furthermore,只有一句，似乎单薄了点)Consequently, I believe that the students take the same core curriculum can form a substantial base, for their development in the future.(这段用一些基本的知识和文化来论证统一课程的作用，是切题的，要是再通顺一点，语法错误少点就更好了)
    Another advantage of conformity in the curriculum is that (缺主语)is useful for build（building） a unified system of fundamental knowledge. （TS和你论证的统一的系统的作用好像还是有差距的，换个TS就好了）On the one hand, a unified knowledge system is very convenient for society and colleges to evaluate the students for select them. The students study the same core curriculum can construct a unified knowledge system, and this analogical system will also provide a common criterion for assessment.（此处缺少过渡） It is very easy to judge out who is more outstanding. On the other hand, a common knowledge structure means a similar start point. If students enter the college, arrange freshmen’s college curriculums will be easier for the reason of the students in same level of knowledge and ability. To illustrate this point clearly, we can see that in China, students enter college by take same exam, the score of students in exam will have a great influence to whether they can enter the college or not, or the level of the college that they will enter. All of that are (those)depend on the students take the same curriculum, and have a similar extent of knowledge.
    However, we also can not require a absolutely conformity. It just like we do not want to every on have a same appearance. If the school in different part of the nation determine which course to offer too freely, the students may leave out some knowledge that they should mastered and lead to a incomplete development, in contrast, a sheer conformity in the curriculum also will cause the students lack of individuality and creativity. This is more awful than omit(omitting) some knowledge. A nation without individuality and creativity will make no progress in any aspect. I suppose a combination of conformity in basic curriculum and individual curriculum is more helpful to students. The schools can offer students the same national curriculum at first to ensure they can acquire the most common knowledge and classic theories, meanwhile, the schools in different region(regions) of the nation also have right to provide some curriculums that suit for the native situation and students’ condition. It will make the teaching more interesting and improve students from all facets.(个人觉得只有统一课程的坏处和统一和有选择的结合可以分成两段来写)
To sum up, all of the students of the nation take the same national curriculum is benefit for their improvement, and convenient for society and college to arrange their work of students. Meanwhile, we should avoid enforcing it extremely too and leave some space for schools to offer some curriculum that fit for their own situation of locality and students, thus we will be in process of achieving our education goal.
(总的说来，可能是由于第一次写issue的原因，论证条理方面，语言组织都还是有欠缺。另外比较值得注意的是语法的问题，anyway,你下次可以做得更好，加油)

wm23UID: 2245087

谢谢指点,我以后会更努力的!我的语法不好,的确也是我现在面临的一个大问题!有没有什么技巧或好的方法能提高语法快一点,或是什么语法书讲的比较好,推荐一下啥.谢谢!