argument71 [0710G Superstar]第十一次作业

totalsm45518UID: 2286658

一周没写了，感觉有点不熟练了，大家使劲批吧

words：592  time：30min  

1.       New copper-extracting technologies will not surely save a lot of electricity
2.       The arguer fails to prove that the new technologies will be accepted commonly.
3.       The arguer ignores other factors that may affect the amount of electricity use.

In this argument, the arguer concludes that there will be a decline in the amount of electricity used by the copper extraction industry because of the new extracting technologies can save much electricity than the older ones. To support this conclusion, the arguer notes the present situation that large amounts of electric energy are consumed the present method, along with the efficiency of saving electricity of the new technologies. However, the arguer fails to provide complete comparison between the two methods and analyze this argument depending on some unsubstantiated assumptions, which make it hard to be convinced as it stands.

In the first place, the arguer cites the fact that the way to refine copper from ores that the copper-extracting industry use right now requires large amounts of electric energy, especially if the proportion of copper in the ore is low and that new technologies for extracting copper can save much electricity especially when the proportion of copper in the ore is high. However, the arguer fails to provide a complete comparison between the two methods when the proportion is the same, not too high or too low. There is no exact information about the electricity saved by the new technologies when the proportion is low, which maybe only a small amount so that the expectation that the use of electricity will decline is rootless. Moreover, the precondition of this expectation is that most of the ores have a higher proportion of copper, which is unsubstantiated in this argument.

In the second place, the arguer set up this conclusion depending on the assumption that this new technologies can be accepted universally in all factories of copper-extracting industry, which lacks of sufficient evidence. There is a possibility that the new method need a great cast of money which only those big-scale factory can offer this expense. Another possibility is that though the new method save a lot of electricity, but it waste more room and time to finish the same amount of work as the old one, or it operates more difficult which need factories to train or recruit some other more qualified engineers who need more pays. In these case, the new technologies cannot be used commonly among factories in this industry, which blocks the realization that the use of electricity by copper-extracting industry will decline much.

Finally, granted that the new technologies do have an efficient effect in reducing the consumption of electricity in copper-extracting industry and that It will be commonly used and spread among most factories, the arguer simply neglects other factors that may influence the whole use of electricity in the industry. If there are more factories who participating in this occupation, the entire amount of electricity used will also increase even though the method has been improved. Or if the common proportion of copper in ores are declining day after day, the electricity use will definitely increase according with the difficulty to extract copper from other minerals. Consequently, the amount of electricity use will not have the bright prospect to decline much.

In sum, the arguer fails to provide exact statistics and comparison about the real advantage of the new copper-extracting technologies. To better evaluate the argument, we should know the reaction and attitude of most factories to the new method that whether they will accept it. Some other factors that will affect the whole amount of electricity consumption is also demanded to take in to consideration. The arguer should also take into account for other method to save the use of electricity rather than this technology.

[ 本帖最后由 totalsm45518 于 2007-6-20 18:34 编辑 ]

gyyxUID: 2290150

1．New copper-extracting technologies will not surely save a lot of electricity
2.       The arguer fails to prove that the new technologies will be accepted commonly.
3.       The arguer ignores other factors that may affect the amount of electricity use.

In this argument, the arguer concludes that there will be a decline in the amount of electricity used by the copper extraction industry because of the new extracting technologies can save much electricity than the older ones. To support this conclusion, the arguer notes the present situation that large amounts of electric energy are consumed the present method, along with the efficiency of saving electricity of the new technologies. However, the arguer fails to provide complete comparison between the two methods and analyze this argument depending on some unsubstantiated assumptions, which make it hard to be convinced as it stands.【此句不错，收藏了】

In the first place, the arguer cites the fact that the way to refine copper from ores that the copper-extracting industry use right now requires large amounts of electric energy, especially if the proportion of copper in the ore is low and that new technologies for extracting copper can save much electricity especially when the proportion of copper in the ore is high. However, the arguer fails to provide a complete comparison between the two methods when the proportion is the same, not too high or too low. There is no exact information about the electricity saved by the new technologies when the proportion is low, which maybe only a small amount so that the expectation that the use of electricity will decline is rootless. Moreover, the precondition of this expectation is that most of the ores have a higher proportion of copper, which is unsubstantiated in this argument. 【这个前提假设不错】

In the second place, the arguer set up this conclusion depending on the assumption that this new technologies can be accepted universally in all factories of copper-extracting industry, which lacks of sufficient evidence. There is a possibility that the new method need a great cast【cost？】 of money which only those big-scale factory can offer this expense. Another possibility is that though the new method save a lot of electricity, but it waste more room and time to finish the same amount of work as the old one, or it operates more difficult which need factories to train or recruit some other more qualified engineers who need more pays. In these case【cases】, the new technologies cannot be used commonly among factories in this industry, which blocks the realization that the use of electricity by copper-extracting industry will decline much.

Finally, granted that the new technologies do have an efficient effect in reducing the consumption of electricity in copper-extracting industry and that It will be commonly used and spread among most factories, the arguer simply neglects other factors that may influence the whole use of electricity in the industry. If there are more factories who participating in this occupation, the entire amount of electricity used will also increase even though the method has been improved. Or if the common proportion of copper in ores are 【is】declining day after day, the electricity use will definitely increase according with the difficulty to extract copper from other minerals. 【这个理由不是很恰当】Consequently, the amount of electricity use will not have the bright prospect to decline much.

In sum, the arguer fails to provide exact statistics and comparison about the real advantage of the new copper-extracting technologies. To better evaluate the argument, we should know the reaction and attitude of most factories to the new method that whether they will accept it. Some other factors that will affect the whole amount of electricity consumption is【are】 also demanded to take in to【into】 consideration. The arguer should also take into account for other method to save the use of electricity rather than this technology.

点评：总体感觉不错，句式变化比较多，词汇也很丰富，每一段开头如果能指出错误然后结尾总结下就更好了。加油！