issue131 51互助小组第 by ruczephyr

ruczephyrUID: 2181202

题目：ISSUE131 - "The arts (painting, music, literature, etc.) reveal the otherwise hidden ideas and impulses of a society."
字数：575          用时：00:45:00          日期：2007-7-3 16:59:10

Along with the development of the society, there are a growing number forms of arts coming into being, which not only express personal ideas of the artists but also publicly reflect social phenomenon as well. Naturally, embodies in the art works was the attitudes from the artists or from the public toward such social phenomenon. Thus, accordingly, I am prone to claim that the arts do reveal the minds of the public no matter whether these minds are hidden or not.

To begin with, it has been generally accepted that the forms of arts, including painting , literature and so forth, have the convenience to express conspicuously incentive ideas from the public toward certain social problems. Consider, for example, in the novel of "Uncle Tom's Cabin", written by one of the most preeminent writer Mark Twain, the writer depicted pity situations of the black slaves before the Civil War and expressed his sympathies to these slaves. And the novel was the concentrated with and delegated the public attitude of Americans at that time toward the slavery. When expressing personal preference or public minds, the forms of arts have their advantages of easily drawing attentions from the people for the artists' excellent skills to delivering the ideas which arouse in-depth thinking or introspections.

Yet, the arts do not only contain topics of the most obvious minds of the society, but also obtain some potential themes which have yet been aware of by the authorities and governors. Once an artist has observed one certain social phenomenon, such as over exploration of natural resource, or pollution of the environment, which needs extra regulations or concentration of attention from the government, he or she would turn to their specialized field to convey his or her favorable suggestion hidden in the works. An illustrating example involves that one painting I have just encountered with. In the painting, there depicts a heap of small golden grains, along with a epilogue saying that "this is not gold". Seeing such painting, people could easily realize that recently an increasing amount of land has come into desert, and if such trend goes on our earth would be miserable for human to live. So, the painting is appealing people to protect our earth and no longer leave our limited land into the process of desert.


What is more, there is also many types social events of phenomena that can not be objectively reported or observed by the authority or the media. In solving such problems, the art forms perform well by hinting the public to know the reality or just extremely precisely recording the event without any comments. And the reasons for such success probably lie in that because certain political causes the media does not tell the truth, however,  the art works only include artic description of similar events or phenomena, not directly pointing to the most sensitive social problems to incur blames, but infer the public the reality .Consider, for example, Fahrenheit 9/11, which precisely depicted the situation of the deadly terrorism attack, transmitted a idea against wars from the most ordinary Americans, which are not included by some corresponding reports or comments. To such extant, the reflection from art forms could more objectively observe and record what really happens in the society.

In brief, the art forms have their uniquely convenience to express ideas of the artists, which are typically both the concentration of public minds and their personal ideas to reflects social phenomena.

ruczephyrUID: 2181202

写了一些反美的东西哈哈,不过考试的时候不会这么写

lesley_219UID: 2221883

Along with the development of the society,  (这句话许多人都用,用的超多,最好换一种方式说吧)  there are a growing number forms of arts coming into being, which not only express personal ideas of the artists but also publicly reflect social phenomenon as well. Naturally, embodies (这是动词,不是名词形式)  in the art works was the attitudes from the artists or from the public toward such social phenomenon. Thus, accordingly, I am prone to claim that the arts do reveal the minds of the public no matter whether these minds are hidden or not.(第一段看完but also后以为你要同意题目,但后来又发现没同意题目,好象需要过度一下吧)

To begin with, it has been generally accepted that the forms of arts, including painting , literature and so forth, have the convenience to express conspicuously incentive ideas from the public toward certain social problems. Consider, for example, in the novel of "Uncle Tom's Cabin", written by one of the most preeminent writer Mark Twain, the writer depicted pity situations of the black slaves before the Civil War and expressed his sympathies to these slaves. And the novel was the concentrated with and delegated the public attitude of Americans at that time toward the slavery. When expressing personal preference or public minds, the forms of arts have their advantages of easily drawing attentions from the people for the artists' excellent skills to   (to后好象加原型吧)  delivering the ideas which arouse in-depth thinking or introspections. (这一段写的不错,但是这一段主要说艺术有表达idea的优势,这和艺术表达hidden idea有什么关系?整段看后,有点不知道你究竟是想赞成题目还是不赞成题目)

Yet, the arts do not only contain topics of the most obvious minds of the society, but also obtain some potential themes which have yet been aware of by the authorities and governors. Once an artist has observed one certain social phenomenon, such as over exploration of natural resource, or pollution of the environment, which needs extra regulations or concentration of attention from the government, he or she would turn to their specialized field to convey his or her favorable suggestion hidden in the works. An illustrating example involves that (that后面应该是一个句子,不能是一个名词吧) one painting I have just encountered with. In the painting, there depicts a heap of small golden grains, along with a epilogue saying that "this is not gold". Seeing such painting, people could easily realize that recently an increasing amount of land has come into desert, and if such trend goes on our earth would be miserable for human to live. So, the painting is appealing people to protect our earth and no longer leave our limited land into the process of desert.(个人感觉第二段的中心很明确,比第一段要好)


What is more, there is also many types (of) social events of phenomena that can not be objectively reported or observed by the authority or the media. In solving such problems, the art forms perform well by hinting the public to know the reality or just extremely precisely recording the event without any comments. And the reasons for such success probably lie in that because certain political causes the media does not tell the truth, (这句话好象语法有点混乱) however,  the art works only include artic (artistic) description of similar events or phenomena, not directly pointing to (out) the most sensitive social problems to (so as to ) incur blames, but infer(inferring) the public the reality .Consider, for example, Fahrenheit 9/11, which precisely depicted the situation of the deadly terrorism attack, transmitted a idea against wars from the most ordinary Americans, which (代替人好象不能有which吧)　are not included by some corresponding reports or comments. To such extant, the reflection from art forms could more objectively observe and record what really happens in the society.（整段没说明白art到底怎么比medium更能真实体现hidden idea了？例子好象在这里不是特别的贴切）

In brief, the art forms have their uniquely convenience to express ideas of the artists, which are typically both the concentration of public minds and their personal ideas to reflects social phenomena.
整篇段落跟人的感觉好象更应该同意题目的观点，而第一段又给人的感觉是不同意题目，所以论点的表述还需更清晰

TidusnakeUID: 2281340

Along with the development of the society, there are a growing number forms of arts coming into being, which not only express personal ideas of the artists but also publicly reflect social phenomenon as well. Naturally, embodies （embodiment）in the art works was the attitudes from the artists or from the public toward such social phenomenon. Thus, accordingly, I am prone to claim that the arts do reveal the minds of the public no matter(去掉) whether these minds are hidden or not.To begin with, it has been generally accepted that the forms of arts, including painting , literature and so forth, have the convenience to express conspicuously incentive ideas from the public toward certain social problems. Consider, for example, in the novel of "Uncle Tom's Cabin", written by one of the most preeminent writer Mark Twain, the writer depicted pity situations of the black slaves before the Civil War and expressed his sympathies to these slaves. And the novel was the concentrated with and delegated the public attitude of Americans at that time toward the slavery. When expressing personal preference or public minds, the forms of arts have their advantages of easily drawing attentions from the people for the artists' excellent skills to delivering the ideas which arouse in-depth thinking or introspections. 这段说arts没hidden的体现一些东东Yet, the arts do not only contain topics of the most obvious minds of the society, but also obtain some potential themes which have yet been aware of by the authorities and governors. Once an artist has observed one certain social phenomenon, such as over exploration of natural resource, or pollution of the environment, which needs extra regulations or concentration of attention from the government, he or she would turn to their specialized field to convey his or her favorable suggestion hidden in the works. An illustrating example involves that one painting I have just encountered with. In the painting, there depicts a heap of small golden grains, along with a epilogue saying that "this is not gold". Seeing such painting, people could easily realize that recently an increasing amount of land has come into desert, and if such trend goes on our earth would be miserable for human to live. So, the painting is appealing people to protect our earth and no longer leave our limited land into the process of desert.What is more, there is also many types social events of phenomena that can not be objectively reported or observed by the authority or the media. In solving such problems, the art forms perform well by hinting the public to know the reality or just extremely precisely recording the event without any comments. And the reasons for such success probably lie in that because certain political causes the media does not tell the truth, however,  the art works only include artic description of similar events or phenomena, not directly pointing to the most sensitive social problems to incur blames, but infer the public the reality .Consider, for example, Fahrenheit 9/11, which precisely depicted the situation of the deadly terrorism attack, transmitted a idea against wars from the most ordinary Americans, which are not included by some corresponding reports or comments. To such extant, the reflection from art forms could more objectively observe and record what really happens in the society.
后两段写hidden的东西由arts来表达出来，或者说记录下来
In brief, the art forms have their uniquely convenience to express ideas of the artists, which are typically both the concentration of public minds and their personal ideas to reflects social phenomena.

这篇文章举例得当，切入点是hidden和没hidden的社会现象，想法啊等等
问题是既然这么写，为什么还硬把表现artist 的personal ideas这个方面拉进来，
文章中对于这个方面的体现非常不足，倒不如不要它

VIVI_1004UID: 2348359

Along with the development of the society, there are a growing number forms of arts coming into being, which not only express personal ideas of the artists but also publicly reflect social phenomenon as well. Naturally, embodies in the art works was the attitudes from the artists or from the public toward such social phenomenon. Thus, accordingly, I am prone to claim that the arts do reveal the minds of the public no matter whether these minds are hidden or not.(感觉还是和题目有点出入,我的理解是社会的意识形态会以其他形式表现出来,而不是not hidden)

To begin with, it has been generally accepted that the forms of arts, including painting , literature and so forth, have the convenience to express conspicuously incentive ideas from the public toward certain social problems. Consider, for example, in the novel of "Uncle Tom's Cabin", written by one of the most preeminent writer Mark Twain, the writer depicted pity situations of the black slaves before the Civil War and expressed his sympathies to these slaves. And the novel was the concentrated with and delegated the public attitude of Americans at that time toward the slavery. When expressing personal preference or public minds, the forms of arts have their advantages of easily drawing attentions from the people for the artists' excellent skills to delivering the ideas which arouse in-depth thinking or introspections.

Yet, the arts do not only contain topics of the most obvious minds of the society, but also obtain some potential themes which have yet been aware of by the authorities and governors. Once an artist has observed one certain social phenomenon, such as over exploration of natural resource, or pollution of the environment, which needs extra regulations or concentration of attention from the government, he or she would turn to their specialized field to convey his or her favorable suggestion hidden in the works. An illustrating example involves that one painting I have just encountered with. In the painting, there depicts a heap of small golden grains, along with a epilogue saying that "this is not gold". Seeing such painting, people could easily realize that recently an increasing amount of land has come into desert, and if such trend goes on our earth would be miserable for human to live. So, the painting is appealing people to protect our earth and no longer leave our limited land into the process of desert.(如果能够上升到艺术的价值，用抽象的语言提炼一下做中心句可能更好)


What is more, there is also many types social events of phenomena that can not be objectively reported or observed by the authority or the media. In solving such problems, the art forms perform well by hinting the public to know the reality or just extremely precisely recording the event without any comments. And the reasons for such success probably lie in that because certain political causes the media does not tell the truth,（你是不是想说，艺术带有作者的主观色彩，还是主题句不明显。） however,  the art works only include artic description of similar events or phenomena, not directly pointing to the most sensitive social problems to incur blames, but infer the public the reality .Consider, for example, Fahrenheit 9/11, which precisely depicted the situation of the deadly terrorism attack, transmitted a idea against wars from the most ordinary Americans, which are not included by some corresponding reports or comments. To such extant, the reflection from art forms could more objectively observe and record what really happens in the society.

In brief, the art forms have their uniquely convenience to express ideas of the artists, which are typically both the concentration of public minds and their personal ideas to reflects social phenomena.

不知道你有没有看过IMONG的专题很有帮助。
限时还可以学这么多，崇拜啊！
http://bbs.gter.ce.cn/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=696911&extra=page%3D1

[ 本帖最后由 VIVI_1004 于 2007-7-5 17:22 编辑 ]