argument147【8月上海组】第一次作业--Leave

chentian_nkUID: 2340104

Argument147   2007.7.9   有生动游戏的图片会受欢迎+我们刚好引进这个+广告宣传=sales 上升
The author concludes that the sales of Whirlwind (W) video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months. To support what he claims, the author points out (1)a recent survey shows that the player prefer such games with lifelike graphics and (2)W has just introduced several such games (3)and with an extensive advertisement directed at people 10-25. Close scrutiny of each of these facts, however, reveals that none of them lend credible support to recommendation.

First, the author assumes that players are likely to buy such games that provide lifelike graphics. The only evidence is a recent survey. However, it does not lead strong support to the assumption. The survey only tells us that the players are prefer lifelike graphics, however it does not mean that they will buy such games. Perhaps when they buy video games, they will consider other factories, such as plot of the game and the price, not only the graphics. For that matter, games only with lifelike graphics cannot be sold well. Since the author fails to take account into other factories, he cannot make any convincing conclusion.

In addition, even granted that players will buy such games with lifelike graphics, the author further assumes that players will buy the games introduced by W. However the argument contains no evidence to bolster what he claims. It is entirely possibly that the player may buy other merchant's similar games, rather than W's. Without rule out this possibility, we cannot believe that the sales will increase dramatically.  

Last but not the least, the author assumes that the extensive advertising campaign will attract players to buy the games. However the argument contains no evidence to support it. Moreover, the fact that people at 10-25 age group are most likely to play video games is open to doubt. The author fails to provide any evidence or statistics to support it.

In sum, the argument is not well reasoning and lacks credibility because the argument is logically flawed and the evidence cited in the analysis does not lead to strong support to what the arguer maintains. To strengthen it the author must provide better evidence.

ShawninGTERUID: 2256189

argument147【8月上海组】第一次作业--Leave

Argument147   2007.7.9   有生动游戏的图片会受欢迎+我们刚好引进这个+广告宣传=sales 上升
The author concludes that the sales of Whirlwind (W) video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months. To support what he claims, the author points out (1)a recent survey shows that the player prefer such games with lifelike graphics and (2)W has just introduced several such games (3)and with an extensive advertisement directed at people 10-25. Close scrutiny of each of these facts, however, reveals that none of them lend credible support to recommendation.
// 赞开头，这样写的确比较明确，学习。
// (1)是原因，(2)(3)是根据(1)的结果所采取的策略，但是(2)(3)在后文中都没有成为攻击点

First, the author assumes that players are likely to buy such games that provide lifelike graphics. The only evidence is a recent survey. However, it does not lead strong support to the assumption. The survey only tells us that the players are prefer lifelike graphics, however it does not mean that they will buy such games. Perhaps when they buy video games, they will consider other factories, such as plot of the game and the price, not only the graphics. For that matter, games only with lifelike graphics cannot be sold well. Since the author fails to take account into other factories, he cannot make any convincing conclusion.

In addition, even granted that players will buy such games with lifelike graphics, the author further assumes that players will buy the games introduced by W. However the argument contains no evidence to bolster what he claims. It is entirely possibly that the player may buy other merchant's similar games, rather than W's. Without rule out this possibility, we cannot believe that the sales will increase dramatically.  
// 如果市场快速增长，竞争对手的存在只可能影响W的增长快慢，但貌似可以推出W必然增长的结论。这段的支持貌似不是很有力。

Last but not the least, the author assumes that the extensive advertising campaign will attract players to buy the games. However the argument contains no evidence to support it. Moreover, the fact that people at 10-25 age group are most likely to play video games is open to doubt. The author fails to provide any evidence or statistics to support it.
// 有些一笔带过的味道，没有深入

In sum, the argument is not well reasoning and lacks credibility because the argument is logically flawed and the evidence cited in the analysis does not lead to strong support to what the arguer maintains. To strengthen it the author must provide better evidence.

--
初涉ARGU，共同交流，
欢迎回拍，， : )

stonescjUID: 2359180

Argument147   2007.7.9   有生动游戏的图片会受欢迎+我们刚好引进这个+广告宣传=sales 上升
The author concludes that the sales of Whirlwind (W) video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months. To support what he claims, the author points out (1)a recent survey shows that the player prefer such games with lifelike graphics and (2)W has just introduced several such games (3)and with an extensive advertisement directed at people 10-25. Close scrutiny of each of these facts, （是不是有点问题啊？分词做状语？）however, reveals that none of them lend credible support to recommendation.
（感觉开头似乎可以更简洁一点，嗯，这样罗列还是第一次见，不过挺新颖的，呵呵～）

First, the author assumes that players are likely to buy such games that provide lifelike graphics. The only evidence is a recent survey. However, it does not lead strong support to the assumption. The survey only tells us that the players are prefer lifelike graphics, however it does not mean that they will buy such games. Perhaps when they buy video games, they will consider other factories（factors）, such as plot of the game and the price, not only the graphics. For that matter, games only with lifelike graphics cannot be sold well. Since the author fails to take account into other factories（take other factors into account?）, he cannot make any convincing conclusion.

In addition, even granted that players will buy such games with lifelike graphics, the author further assumes that players will buy the games introduced by W. However the argument contains no evidence to bolster what he claims. It is entirely possibly that the player may buy other merchant's similar games, rather than W's. Without rule out this possibility, we cannot believe that the sales will increase dramatically.  

Last but not the least, the author assumes that the extensive advertising campaign will attract players to buy the games. However the argument contains no evidence to support it. Moreover, the fact that people at 10-25 age group are most likely to play video games is open to doubt. The author fails to provide any evidence or statistics to support it.

In sum, the argument is not well reasoning and lacks credibility because the argument is logically flawed and the evidence cited in the analysis does not lead to strong support to what the arguer maintains. To strengthen it the author must provide better evidence.

我觉得3、4段需要充实，展开的不够充分，再说点什么会好点，呵呵
总体结构还可以的