CRACK 9T小组第3次作业----destine

destineUID: 2141316

第三次作业
It has recently been announced that a new restaurant may be built in your neighborhood. Do you support or oppose this plan? Why? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.


I would be very glad to hear that a new restaurant be built in my neighborhood. It can meet the demand of most people in my campus and around.

One reason to support the plan is that around the campus of my university, there is not enough restaurants to meet the needs of the professors and the students from different provinces of China. Though there are some restaurants, we have got used to the lists of the menus of them and always want a change. So building a new restaurant in my neighborhood can satisfy the needs of different kind of people and give us a change with the dishes.

The second reason to support the plan is that more and more people not belong to my university crowd into the small cafeteria in my campus, which seriously affects the normal support in my university. To build a new restaurant in my neighborhood can make the situation satisfied out of question.

Admittedly, several factors should be taken into consideration in building the new restaurant. First, the boss must know who are the customers, if it is the students, because of the limitation of their consuming, he or she should make the spending level a little lower. Or if it is the professors or  working-group, the level can be a little higher. Second, the location to build the restaurant should be an important factor to make money, the campus of my university is very large, near to which gate will be more people is something need to investigate. Some other factors, such as which kind of restaurant, Chinese food or western food, should also be considered seriously.

Above all, I cannot agree with the plan that a new restaurant be built in my neighborhood. However, the boss of the restaurant should think over about some factors before make the choice.

小马家家UID: 2247022

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第三次作业
It has recently been announced that a new restaurant may be built in your neighborhood. Do you support or oppose this plan? Why? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.


I would be very glad to hear that a new restaurant be built in my neighborhood. It can meet the demand of most people in my campus and around.(第一段是不是有点简单了)

One reason to support the plan is that around the campus of my university, there is not enough restaurants to meet the needs of the professors and the students from different provinces of China. Though there are some restaurants, we have got used to the lists of the menus of them and always want a change. So building a new restaurant in my neighborhood can satisfy the needs of different kind of people and give us a change with the dishes.

The second reason to support the plan is that more and more people not belong to my university crowd into the small cafeteria in my campus, which seriously affects the normal support in my university. To build a new restaurant in my neighborhood can make the situation satisfied out of question.

Admittedly, several factors should be taken into consideration in building the new restaurant. First, the boss must know who are the customers, if it is the students, because of the limitation of their consuming, he or she should make the spending level a little lower. Or if it is the professors or  working-group, the level can be a little higher. Second, the location to build the restaurant should be an important factor to make money, the campus of my university is very large, near to which gate will be more people is something need to investigate. Some other factors, such as which kind of restaurant, Chinese food or western food, should also be considered seriously. (仔细分析 是不是跑题了, 题目是你支持or反对在你的neighborhood 建一个新的restaurant的计划, 如果你支持这个计划, 是因为这个计划能带来很多benefits, such as meet diffient needs of professors and students from our university as well as reduce the intense crowded condition of people who have their deit in our small cafeteria. in addition, it can add the income of our university. of course, everyting has it's  negative aspects such as it can bring noise and pollution. here in this paragraph, i think the thing like the price or constumers the boss has to care is not the disadvantage of plan building the new restaurant in your neighborhood.)

Above all, I cannot agree with the plan that a new restaurant be built in my neighborhood. However, the boss of the restaurant should think over about some factors before make the choice.　切忌的问题　观点对立

１．你第一句说你很高兴得知这一计划，　而且没有转折．　给人的印象是你赞同这个计划．至少是不反对．　接下来的第２和３段你给出饭店有有益之处．如果在者截止，再直接写一个支持的结尾，文章还是不错．因为你给出了自己的观点，并且用详细的例子和细节来支持自己的观点．但第四段　偏题了．而且结尾太明显的反对(I can not agree with the plan that -------) 这样文章观点对立．不知道是不是当时观点没记住还是别的原因．但首尾不呼应而且对立应该切忌．

２．Admittedly：公然地　显然地　不适宜用第四段当转折词．这里可以用however，nevertheless　等

３．第一段字数太少了吧，虽然大家都欢迎开篇点题，但至少有但背景的句子缓冲一下．最后一段是总结句，可以把你上面文章的分论点总结一下，在重伸自己是支持or反对这个计划．

destineUID: 2141316

晕，最后一段少打了两个字，any more:)