issue103 [0710G ＋U Aug小组]第二次作业

wm23UID: 2245087

Issue103

History is a process that witnesses the development of human being, and it can influence the development of nowadays society, but I don't agree that the historical study should be required to relate to our daily lives, which to embody its value.

First of all, history is a subject that has existed for a long time, and it has its inward value while it was born. People started to study history from ancient times, a lot of historians devote themselves to history research not only for daily lives, but also for concluding the rule of the human development, understanding the culture progress, and predict the future. It is not relevanting to daily lives endowed the history with value, in contrast, it is historical study that makes the lives more valuable. For example, we often cite some events of great people in history to encourage some one, however, it does not means that the events we cite make these people great, but because these people themselves are great in history and they are valuable for us. Consequently, it is unfair to consider that the value of history depend on relevant it to our daily lives.

Second, the value of history embodied not only in the aspect of relevant it to our daily lives, but also in other aspects. For example, through historical study, we can learn to avoid those mistakes that committed in history to repeat in our way.  In order to see this point clear, let us see an example in Britain. In eighteen century, Britain is the most powerful country in the world, so they invade a lot of countries include America and other countries, there are so many wars between British colonizer and American in America continent, and finally, the American who under lead ship of George Washington defeat the colonizer, in addition, they attained the liberty and establish their own country. In nowadays, we can also understand that invading and suppressing freedom will finally be defeated by research history.

Admittedly, applying the results of historical study to our daily lives can help us comprehend the value of history in a direct way, which makes the history more lively and more meaningful. However, it didn’t means that we should consider whether relevant the history to lives as the only criteria to judge the value of history. In the premise of admit and respect the history value, try to combine history experience and daily lives, then both history and our lives will more valuable. For instance, when we learn Beethoven whose life is full of frustrations, when we learn Edison who was forced to leave school when he was young, when we learn Lincoln who was assassinated because he fight for saving slaves of America and so on, the history also teaches us to be brave and fortitude, and to struggle for achieving own value.

In sum, never doubt about the value of history, the development of human being is an embodiment of history value, for the study of history can provide us competence and power.

warlockUID: 2364623

History is a process that witnesses the development of human being, and it can influence the development of [url=]nowadays[/url][zj1] society, but I don't agree that the historical study should be required to relate to our daily lives, which [url=]to[/url][zj2] embody its value.（issue题认为无关生活的研究历史没有价值，这里提出观点历史研究不需要和生活有关系来显示自己的价值）

First of all, history is a subject that has existed for a long time, and it has its inward value while it was born. People started to study history from ancient times, [url=]（）[/url][zj3] a lot of historians devote themselves to history research not only for daily lives, but also for concluding the rule of the human development, understanding the culture progress, and [url=]predict[/url][zj4] the future. It is not [url=]relevanting[/url][zj5] to daily lives[url=]endowed the history with value,[/url][zj6] in contrast, it is historical study that makes the lives more valuable. For example, we often cite some events of great people in history to encourage some one, however, it does not means that the events we cite make these people great, [url=]but[/url][zj7] because these people themselves are great in history and they are valuable for us. Consequently, it is unfair to consider that the value of history [url=]depend[/url][zj8] on [url=]relevant[/url][zj9] it to our daily lives. (本段的主题是？体现inward value的事例是我们用来鼓励别人？还是历史学家的奉献。感觉前后两部分讲的不是一个东西。)

Second, the value of history [url=]embodied[/url][zj10] not only in the aspect [url=]of[/url][zj11] relevant it to our daily lives, but also in other aspects. For example, through historical study, we can learn to avoid those mistakes [url=]that[/url][zj12] committed in history [url=]to[/url][zj13] repeat in our way.  In order to see this point clear, let us see an example in Britain. In eighteen century, Britain is the most powerful country in the world, so they invade a lot of countries [url=]include[/url][zj14] America and other countries[url=],[/url][zj15] there are so many wars between British colonizer and American in America continent, and finally, the American who under[url=]lead ship[/url][zj16] of George Washington defeat the colonizer, [url=]()[/url][zj17] in addition, they attained the liberty and [url=]establish[/url][zj18] their own country. [url=]In nowadays,[/url][zj19] we can also understand that [url=]invading and suppressing freedom[/url][zj20] will finally be defeated [url=]by research history.[/url][zj21] （本段列举了独立战争的事例来说明历史的价值在于让我们避免犯过去的错误，但事例是表述不当的，因为英国不是invade。如果说invade那是针对印第安人来讲，不是针对American born English）
Admittedly, applying the results of historical study to our daily lives can help us comprehend the value of history in a direct way, which makes the history more lively and more meaningful. [url=]However, it didn’t means that we should consider whether relevant the history to lives as the only criteria to judge the value of history[/url][zj22] . In the premise of [url=]admit[/url][zj23] and respect the history value, try to combine history experience [url=]and[/url][zj24] daily lives, then both history and our lives [url=]will[/url][zj25] more valuable. For instance, when we learn Beethoven whose life is full of frustrations, when we learn Edison who was forced to leave school when he was young, when we learn Lincoln who was assassinated because he fight for saving slaves of America and so on, the history also teaches us to be brave and fortitude, and to struggle for achieving own value.
(本段认为应该把历史研究直接用于生活，来体现价值，和你的主题直接矛盾。)

In sum, never doubt [url=]about[/url][zj26] the value of history, the development of human being is an embodiment of history value, for the study of history can[url=]provide[/url][zj27] us competence and power.
(国内战争的例子没有体现competence 和power吧？)

总评：1，语言的修炼不是朝夕之功，慢慢来吧。
      2，文章的结构是要斟酌的，例子要有说服力，前后观点也不要自相矛盾，最好写完之后看通篇，找找逻辑上的失误
[zj1]Nowaday 是形容词，nowadays 是副词。


[zj2]不需要which，to embody表示目的构成状语修饰


[zj3]+and使前后成为两个并列句子


[zj4]predicting


[zj5]relevant 就是形容词


[zj6]这个表达什么意思？看不懂


[zj7]However和but是否重了？


[zj8]复数


[zj9]relating


[zj10]embody 用被动语态，价值被体现。


[zj11]不需要


[zj12]That 不必committed就作为被动语态出现


[zj13] Avoid sth to do没有这个表达吧？  


[zj14]including


[zj15]句号


[zj16]leadship


[zj17]+and


[zj18]established


[zj19]nowdays


[zj20]形容词和名词在逻辑上是矛盾的，用表示统治的词比较好


[zj21]放在by后面有助于理解。Research用动名词


[zj22]这个句子看不懂


[zj23]想用什么词？


[zj24]with


[zj25]will be


[zj26]不需要about


[zj27]Provide sb with sth