issue4[0710G+U小组]第六次作业

571633UID: 2333480

TOPIC: ISSUE4 - "No field of study can advance significantly unless outsiders bring their knowledge and experience to that field of study."
WORDS: 360          TIME: 00:45:00          DATE: 2007-7-30 20:08:34

According to the speaker, only layman brings his knowledge and experience to the subject can this field of study advance drastically. As far as I am concerned, it is true that every subject needs to the other subject's knowledge to promote itself and there are many examples in the history.

At first, surgery is developed significantly during the First World War. Madame Marie Curie, a prestige physicist who won the Noble Prize, found that x-ray can help locate the bullets and facilitate surgery. So it is the x-ray which contributes to her research process on both in surgery and physics. Of course the Madame knew nothing about the surgery however, without the x-ray most of the surgery operations will be cancelled because the surgeon can't see the insider of the human body. So it is true that the physicist Curie' contribution helped the surgery advanced a lot.

What's more, economic management comes in to being when the management and economics met. Wal-Mart's continual sales increasing rates and scale expansion are due to its management strategies. The previous CEO Sam Walton who is not a scholar of economics created the employee ownership, which enables every employee to purchase the company shares and help advance the company's emphasis on controlling costs and providing excellent customer service. Without the strategy of management, the retailer behemoth won't be successful as it is now and will not boost the national economic. Thus subject of economics steps a lot when Sam Walton brings the management knowledge.

Last but not least, biology is doomed to make a great progress when the naturalists take part in the discuss of the subject. Darwin, a naturalist who is best known as the discoverer of natural selection, put forth the theory of evolution that has guided biologist ever since that living organisms change by a series of random permutations, which are "naturally selected" insofar as they are adapted to their environment in his most important work, The Origin of the Species which only appeared in 1859. Consequently the biology can boost a lot only other subjects such as the natural history drills into the biology.

Simply put, all the subjects in the world are interplayed, consequently the only way to boost the development of certain field of subject is to broaden our vision instead of holding the conventional wisdom, while the best way is to let the outsiders bring their knowledge and experience to that field of study.

这次写的不好，麻烦楼上的了，写的好晕，是赞成的观点，和原来的题目不一样，都是举例子。

ldsunUID: 2329026

According to the speaker, only layman brings his knowledge and experience to the subject can this field of study advance drastically. As far as I am concerned, it is true that every subject needs to[去掉to] the other subject's [相比于the knowledge of the other subject,我也不很肯定你的表达方式是否正确]knowledge to promote itself and there are many examples in the history.

At first, surgery is[was？] developed significantly during the First World War. Madame Marie Curie, a prestige physicist who won the Noble Prize, found that x-ray can help locate the bullets and facilitate surgery. So it is the x-ray which contributes to her research process on both in surgery and physics.[这一句话看不懂哦，你再看下吧] Of course the Madame knew nothing about the surgery [加一个comma]however, without the x-ray most of the surgery operations will be cancelled because the surgeon can't see the insider[inside] of the human body. So it is true that the physicist Curie' contribution helped the surgery advanced a lot.[这一段举的例子很好，论证也觉得挺充分]

What's more, economic management comes in to being when the management and economics met.[这一句是不是有问题呢？I’m not so sure, however你考虑下为什么不是when the management met the economics?] Wal-Mart's continual sales[sale?] increasing rates and scale expansion are due to its management strategies. The previous CEO Sam Walton who is not a scholar of economics created the employee ownership, which enables every employee to purchase the company shares and help advance the company's emphasis on controlling costs and providing excellent customer service. Without the strategy of management, the retailer behemoth won't be successful as it is now and will not boost the national economic. Thus subject of economics steps a lot when Sam Walton brings the management knowledge.[这一段的例子似乎有些模糊了，是想说明管理学的经验给经济学带来进步吗？可是wal-mart 的成功能说明吗，个人观点，你考虑下哈。]

Last but not least, biology is doomed to make a great progress when the naturalists take part in the discuss[discussion] of the subject. Darwin, a naturalist who is best known as the discoverer of natural selection, put forth the theory of evolution that has guided biologist ever since that living organisms change by a series of random permutations, which are "naturally selected" insofar as they are adapted to their environment in his most important work,[.] The Origin of the Species which only appeared in 1859. Consequently the biology can boost a lot only other subjects such as the natural history drills into the biology.[ to tell the truth,我不是很能看懂这个例子，可能我的阅读能力还有待提高，就看不出错误了。不过我能理解这个例子的作用，很不错。]

Simply put, all the subjects in the world are interplayed, consequently the only way to boost the development of [a?]certain field of subject is to broaden our vision instead of holding the conventional wisdom[这里用wisdom合适吗？], while the best way is to let the outsiders bring their knowledge and experience to that field of study.

这篇文章例子很丰富，就很能说明问题。有一点请你考虑下，issue里有一个意思是说，只有加入了outsiders’s knowledge and experience才有significantly advance,不知道你注意了没有。既然你同意这个观点，我想你应该在你的文章也应该有这个意思吧。
p.s.还以为改的是 xinfen的文章呢，因为是在他发给我的链接打开的，改完了才发现是你的。第二次改你的文章呵，我水平不高，你看下改得对不对。

[ 本帖最后由 ldsun 于 2007-7-31 17:46 编辑 ]

xiefen0223UID: 2301911

昨天因为网络问题，改了的文章也没发上去。不好意思啊。

issue4[0710G+U小组]第六次作业

TOPIC: ISSUE4 - "No field of study can advance significantly unless outsiders bring their knowledge and experience to that field of study."
WORDS: 360          TIME: 00:45:00          DATE: 2007-7-30 20:08:34

According to the speaker, only layman brings his knowledge and experience to the subject can this field of study advance drastically (dramatically). As far as I am concerned, it is true that every subject needs to (delete ‘to ’) the other subject's knowledge to promote itself and there are many examples in the history.

At first, surgery is developed significantly during the First World War. Madame Marie Curie, a prestige physicist who won the Noble Prize, found that x-ray can help locate the bullets and facilitate surgery. So it is the x-ray which contributes to her research process on both in surgery and physics. Of course the Madame knew nothing about the surgery however, without the x-ray most of the surgery operations will be cancelled because the surgeon can't see the insider of the human body. So it is true that the physicist Curie’s contribution helped the surgery advanced a lot.

What's more, economic management comes in to being when the management and economics met. Wal-Mart's continual sales increasing rates and scale expansion are due to its management strategies. The previous CEO Sam Walton who is not a scholar of economics created the employee ownership, which enables every employee to purchase the company shares and help advance the company's emphasis on controlling costs and providing excellent customer service. Without the strategy of management, the retailer behemoth won't be successful as it is now and will not boost the national economic. Thus subject of economics steps a lot when Sam Walton brings the management knowledge.

Last but not least, biology is doomed to make a great progress when the naturalists take part in the discuss (discussion) of the subject. Darwin, a naturalist who is best known as the discoverer of natural selection, put forth the theory of evolution that has guided biologist ever since that living organisms change by a series of random permutations, which are "naturally selected" insofar as they are adapted to their environment in his most important work, The Origin of the Species which only appeared in 1859. Consequently the biology can boost a lot only other subjects such as the natural history drills into the biology.

Simply put, all the subjects in the world are interplayed; consequently the only way to boost the development of certain field of subject is to broaden our vision instead of holding the conventional wisdom, while the best way is to let the outsiders bring their knowledge and experience to that field of study.

其实写这个文章的时候我也没思路，写得很烂。所以改到你的文章的时候觉得能举出这么多例子已经不错了。这篇文章没有体现出你以往的句式多样化，也没保证到你单词量，例子之间联系不大，好像各说各的一样，虽然都是印证“学科之间的相互影响”，可是到底太分散，每个例子说的也并不深入，没产生很大的论证效果。可能真的没什么可以写的吧。哎，同时天涯沦落人啊。。。;p

xiefen0223UID: 2301911

agr174 [0710G +U Aug小组]第7次作业

TOPIC: ARGUMENT174 - The following recommendation was made by the president and administrative staff of Grove College, a private institution, to the college's governing committee.

"We recommend that Grove College preserve its century-old tradition of all-female education rather than admit men into its programs. It is true that a majority of faculty members voted in favor of coeducation, arguing that it would encourage more students to apply to Grove. But eighty percent of the students responding to a survey conducted by the student government wanted the school to remain all female, and over half of the alumni who answered a separate survey also opposed coeducation. Keeping the college all-female, therefore, will improve morale among students and convince alumni to keep supporting the college financially."
WORDS: 377          TIME: 00:30:00          DATE: 2007-7-31 10:50:53

Citing with 80 percent of the students' responding,(为了支持自己的提议，作者文章中不只cite这个，要写就全写，包括“大多数校友的意见”) it is suggested in the recommendation that the Grove College should keeping（keep） the college all-female in order to improve the student's morale and keep the alumni to support the college financially. Nevertheless, further reflection tells me that the suggestion ignores many practical problems.

At first, the arguer assumes that coeducation will encourage more students to apply the Grove College. （你这里在帮助作者啊？这个反驳点有点背道而驰了）However, there is no evidence that it is true. There are many other available reasons influence the enrollment, for example, the location of the college, the equipment, the teacher's liability. So the arguer should provide more evidence that the coeducation will improve the enrollment of the college.

What's more, the argument fails to point out the total number of the responding students and the alumni. Consequently it can be hardly show that the example is representative of all the students and the alumni. Therefore, any decision aimed at addressing the problem of enrollment must be based on more through and comprehension investigation to gather sufficient data so as to identify the actual causes of the problem.（这段不错！特别是最后一句话，呵呵。）

Last but not least, the fact that to preserve the century-old tradition of all-female education lends no strong support to the conclusion that it will improve the student's morale and keep the alumni's supporting to the college financially.（这是最基本，最有力的反驳点！建议放在第一段谈） It is highly possible that other factors might contribute to the morale among the students, for example, the profession training, the ability of the teachers, the environment of the college and so forth. So lacking evidence, we can't get the conclusion that keeping the college all-female was responsible for the morale problem and the alumni's support.

Simply put, the letter's recommendation is not well supported because it relies on certain a series of doubtful assumptions that render it untenable as it stands.（good point~!） Before I can accept it, the writer must supply clearer evidence - perhaps by the way of a local survey or study - that the investigation will support the conclusion that the all-female education can promote the morale among students and convince alumni to keep support the college financially. To better evaluate the argument we would need more information about the numbers of the student who responds to the survey rather than blurring the data.

第一段找的反驳点错了，文章中那句话只是部分教工的观点，和作者的论点论据没什么直接联系。如果非要谈的话，那就是作者故意忽略了他们的意见，而只考虑学生，校友的意见，让人匪夷所思。

571633UID: 2333480

多谢xiefen和ldsun帮忙修改.建议很好,麻烦了.呵呵.