[九月IBT第十二次作业]BY zhangyebb

zhangyebbUID: 2179586

7.30第十二次作业（请于7.30晚22：30之前交,在7.31晚22:00前完成批改）写作：Some people spend their entire lives in one place. Others move a number of times throughout their lives, looking for a better job, community, or even climate. Which do you prefer: staying in one place or moving in search of another place? Use reasons and specific examples to support your opinion.


Whether staying in one place for the entire live or moving in search of another place is a more superior choice, different people will offer their respective attitude. Some believe searching can find where you really like, since the wider space could provide more experience and selection to decide, while others prefer to stay in one place for the whole life time, in case to encounter dread of strangeness or some other adversities. As far as I am concerned, the finally judgment for me to choose should depend on diverse situations.

First and foremost, in the young time, moving to search for the suitable place would indeed offer abundant chances and challenges. It is undeniable that traveling is good opportunity for learning and in the course of moving you can find the right place which contains the better job, fitting climate and suitable environment. Let’s bring the discussion here to a more concrete example. The metropolis such New York, Tokyo, London may be the right place for the people who anticipate challenging themselves and learning the developed technology. If you are a person who wants the intensive but more opportunistic life, you could not be informed by staying in one place for all life. Therefore, traveling can benefit you more possibilities.

Secondly, another factor why I advocated traveling can provide you to recognize yourself. As we all know, staying in one place for a long time could narrow the eyereach and thinking method. Moreover, just like one saying the outside world is splendid. No one can realize himself if the situation stable constantly, since the long unchangeable circumstance chains cognizant ability, so as people could clear about what the really need and which place is more agreeable. Traveling complements this point. When you arrive at USA, the atmosphere of democracy and freedom fully fills the whole environment, and in that situation you are recognized what is the truth of egalitarian. When you arrive at Florence, you may find the art of renaissance would not just with word. Only when you reach the real space can you realize the mystery of it. So, traveling can benefit you what you did not know before.

Furthermore, in the old age, the only seeking of mine is stability and enjoying life with my family. In that case, stopping traveling and staying in one place could be the better choice. However, actually, the finally judgment of this issue should relay on different situation both in time and expectation of people.

sigtemUID: 2169461

Whether staying in one place for the entire live or moving in search of another place is a more superior choice, different people will offer their respective attitude. Some believe searching can find where you really like, since the wider space could provide more experience and selection to decide, while others prefer to stay in one place for the whole life time, in case to encounter dread of strangeness or some other adversities. As far as I am concerned, the finally judgment for me to choose should depend on diverse situations. 首段写得很好，交待了背景，也亮明了自己的观点

First and foremost, in the young time, moving to search for the suitable place would indeed offer abundant chances and challenges. It is undeniable that traveling is 应该是provides吧 good opportunity for learning and in the course of moving you can find the right place which contains the better job, fitting climate and suitable environment. Let’s bring the discussion here to a more concrete example. The metropolis such New York, Tokyo, London may be the right place for the people who anticipate challenging themselves and learning the developed technology. If you are a person who wants the intensive but more opportunistic life, you could not be informed by staying in one place for all life. Therefore, traveling can benefit you more possibilities benefit能接双宾语吗？我不清楚.

Secondly, another factor why I advocated traveling can provide you to recognize yourself 这句话不太通顺，建议改为：another factor why I prefer traveling is that it makes you more familiar with yourself . As we all know, staying in one place for a long time could narrow the eyereach and thinking method 这句话的观点好. Moreover, just like one saying the outside world is splendid. No one can realize himself if the situation stable constantly stable是形容词，应改为stay, since the long unchangeable circumstance chains cognizant ability 这半句话我没看懂, so as people could clear about what the really need and which place is more agreeable. Traveling complements this point. When you arrive at in USA, the atmosphere of democracy and freedom fully fills the whole environment, and in that situation you are recognized what is the truth of egalitarian. When you arrive at Florence, you may find the art of renaissance would not just with word. 这后面你举的例子好像偏离了这段的主题句recognize yourself （认识自己），而应该是开阔你的眼界 Only when you reach the real space can you realize the mystery of it. So, traveling can benefit you what you did not know before.

Furthermore, 这段你提出的是与前文相反的观点，而furthermore表示递近，建议改为on the other hand in the old age, the only seeking of mine is stability and enjoying life with my family. In that case, stopping traveling and staying in one place could be the better choice. However, actually, the finally judgment of this issue should relay on different situation both in time and expectation of people.
建议最后加个总结段比较好

总得来说全文写得非常好，我也受益匪浅。字数充足，分论点都详细地展开了，而且让人觉得言之有理。语言也非常好，值得我学习。

[ 本帖最后由 sigtem 于 2007-7-31 09:08 编辑 ]

zhangyebbUID: 2179586

:loveliness: 感谢sigtem~~~~我注意修改呢~~~:handshake