Argument220 [0710G突击先锋]第十二次作业

xmubitUID: 2362643

ARGUMENT220 - The following appeared in an article in a magazine for writers.

"A recent study showed that in describing a typical day's conversation, people make an average of 23 references to watching television and only 1 reference to reading fiction. This result suggests that, compared with the television industry, the publishing and bookselling industries are likely to decline in profitability. Therefore, people who wish to have careers as writers should acquire training and experience in writing for television rather than for print media."
提纲：
1.      研究的可靠性值得怀疑
2.      没有足够证据表明出版业利润下降
3.      以为电视行业工作为目标训练自己并不是个好建议

Giving some facts and some analyses, the author seems to assure that people who wish to be writers should be trained in the purpose of writing for television rather than for print media. However, the author does not provide us with sufficient evidence to prove the conclusion.

To begin with, the reliable of the study is open to doubt which seems to infer that TV programs are more welcomed than fiction. We have no idea about the detailed information about the people involved such as the interests, age, gender, residence and so forth while no evidence indicates the sample of the study are large enough. Further, it is entirely possible that most of the people who responded to the study are fans of TV plays that may surely tend to be busy talking about the current dramas on TV. Also, it may be the case that a certain TV drama was popular among the residents in some regions when the study was carried out there. What's more, perhaps when it comes to TV programs, people may just say a few words about them; however, when they are talking about the fiction, a long time goes by until they recognize it.

Secondly, even if we concede the result of the study, the conclusion is still suspected for that it is based on the questionable assumption that the profits of print media is likely to decline. We cannot defy the possibility that although more people prefer to watch TV rather than read fictions, the profits of fiction bookselling industry is still improving for the reason that even fewer people are choosing fictions in the past. It may also be the case that the people who are favor in reading fictions are more likely to buy them while most of these readers used to download these books from internet. Even if it is true that the profits of fictions are declining, the whole print media industry is enjoying its rapid promoting profits for the reason that the sales of other kinds of print media such as newspapers and magazines are improved greatly.

Finally, even if the author can prove that the profits of publishing and bookselling industries are decreasing the conclusion is still unwarranted in the following respects. First, the television industry may not need so many writers. As we all know that some of the TV programs cannot be written at all, such as the news reports, sports lives and so on. Until the author precludes these factors we cannot be convinced that more people write for television is actually needed. Moreover, common sense tells us that it would be too uncomfortable at all if the writers are not interested in television industries at all but forced to join it. Without taking these cases into consideration, the arguer misjudges the feasibility of his recommendation.

To sum up, before suggesting the people who want to become the writers preparing for the work in television industry, the evidence must be examined from other angles, to better bolster it, the author should provide us with the current detailed information about the profits in the industries of television and printed medias, however, he or she fails to do it.




[ 本帖最后由 xmubit 于 2007-8-2 22:12 编辑 ]

wddzyUID: 184236

ARGUMENT220 - The following appeared in an article in a magazine for writers.
"A recent study showed that in describing a typical day's conversation, people make an average of 23 references to watching television and only 1 reference to reading fiction. This result suggests that, compared with the television industry, the publishing and bookselling industries are likely to decline in profitability. Therefore, people who wish to have careers as writers should acquire training and experience in writing for television rather than for print media."
提纲：
1.      研究的可靠性值得怀疑
2.      没有足够证据表明出版业利润下降
3.      以为电视行业工作为目标训练自己并不是个好建议
Giving some facts and some analyses, the author seems to assure that people who wish to be writers should be trained in the purpose of writing for television rather than for print media. However, the author does not provide us with sufficient evidence to prove the conclusion.
To begin with, the reliable of the study is open to doubt which seems to infer that TV programs are more welcomed than fiction.[ the reliable of the study, which seems to infer that TV programs are more welcomed than fiction, is open to doubt.] We have no idea about the detailed information about the[删] people involved such as the[their] interests, age, gender, residence and so forth while[while多用于转折，最好用and] no evidence indicates [that] the sample of the study are large enough. Further, it is entirely possible that most of the people who responded to the study are fans of TV plays that[指代不明确，建议调整句子结构] may surely tend to be busy talking about the current dramas on TV. Also, it may be the case that a certain TV drama was popular among the residents in some regions when the study was carried out there. What's more, perhaps when it comes to TV programs, people may just say a few words about them; however, when they are talking about the fiction, a long time goes by until they recognize it.
[…is open to doubt…have no idea…for…. further, it is entirely possible that …. Also, it may be the case that…. What’s more, perhaps…指出问题，并一步步深入讨论，这个结构很好，本段要是在有个不排除这些可能性结论就不成立的小总结就更好了。]
Secondly, even if we concede the result of the study, the conclusion[不明确] is still suspected for that[删] it is based on the[a] questionable assumption that the profits of print media is[are] likely to decline. We cannot defy the possibility that although more people prefer to watch TV rather than read[reading] fictions, the profits of fiction bookselling industry is[are] still improving for the reason that even fewer people are choosing fictions in the past. It may also be the case that the people who are favor in reading fictions are more likely to buy them while most of these readers used to download these books from internet[就是中国下载不要钱^_^]. Even if it is true that the profits of fictions are declining, the whole print media industry is enjoying its rapid promoting profits for the reason that the sales of other kinds of print media such as newspapers and magazines are improved greatly.
[还有一种情况，23：1只能说明看电视的人多，但并不能说明读书的人下降了，可能去年的这个比例还是100：1呢，这样看书的人实际是增多了]
Finally, even if the author can prove that the profits of publishing and bookselling industries are decreasing[,] the conclusion is still unwarranted in the following respects[aspects?]. First, the television industry may not need so many writers. As we all know that some of the TV programs cannot be written at all[do not necessarily need writers], such as the news reports, sports lives and so on. Until the author precludes these factors we cannot be convinced that more people write for television is actually needed. Moreover, common sense tells us that it would be too uncomfortable at all if the writers are not interested in television industries at all but forced to join it. Without taking these cases into consideration, the arguer misjudges the feasibility of his recommendation.
To sum up, before suggesting the[删] people who want to become the[删] writers preparing[to prepare] for the work in television industry, the evidence must be examined from other angles,[断句。] to better bolster it, the author should provide us with the current detailed information about the profits in the industries of television and printed medias, however, he or she fails to do it.
[找出了Argument的主要逻辑问题并一一进行了深入的质疑，文章整体结构和内部段落结构都组织的很好，向楼主学习^_^]