argument17 [0710G ＋U Aug小组] 第9次作业 satanic

SatanicUID: 2362211

在选择批驳点时经过了考虑，要不要批驳EZ费用增高得这点。你曾经说一大牛说费用高应为采用先进得环保技术
我来这样想：
TC说取缔EZ
作者说继续用EZ
我们来批驳，肯定要说EZ得不好，对EZ持负面态度或者至少是怀疑态度
如果按照大牛得话来说，就是赞成EZ，这和我们得写作意图相违背，所以我觉得大牛思想不可取。
请IRIS发表看法。
/*1.垃圾次数，居民不在意，这可能是涨价得原因*/
/*2.调查：参与者 EZ满意 那ABC可能更满意*/
/*3.模糊数据*/



TOPIC: ARGUMENT17 - The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Walnut Grove town newspaper.
"Walnut Grove's town council has advocated switching from EZ Disposal (which has had the contract for trash collection services in Walnut Grove for the past ten years) to ABC Waste, because EZ recently raised its monthly fee from $2,000 to $2,500 a month, whereas ABC's fee is still $2,000. But the town council is mistaken; we should continue using EZ. EZ collects trash twice a week, while ABC collects only once. Moreover, EZ-which, like ABC, currently has a fleet of 20 trucks-has ordered additional trucks. Finally, EZ provides exceptional service: 80 percent of respondents to last year's town survey agreed that they were 'satisfied' with EZ's performance."
WORDS: 483          TIME: 00:36:20          DATE: 2007-8-4 12:49:57
In this analysis, the arguer attempt to convince us that what the Walnut Grove's town council has advocated to switch from EZ disposal to ABC Waste only because of the raised fee in EZ from $2000 to $2500 is, in some cases, mistaken. To substantiate this conclusion, the arguer provides some evidence that the trash-collecting frequency of EZ is higher, the EZ's additionally ordered trucks and the town survey agreed that EZ's performance is satisfied. While this argument has some merits, several conspicuous flaws may serious undermine the line of reasoning.
In the first place, the advantage of EZ's trash-collecting frequency is not competitative in some cases, however, on the contrast, it may luxuriously waste our labor and energy. The frequency of ABC's trash collection rises to twice a week but that's only once in ABC does not support the conclusion that EZ's service is better. The account of villager in Walnut Grove might be in little quantity and their daily waste produced ability is parallel low. The EZ rises its trash-collecting frequency up to twice a week might not be necessary -- the villagers might not care about this attribute, and, even more, it might be a new way of wasting labor, who has a higher salary nowadays, and energy -- as the high rising of crude old prize, the petrol prize is rising quickly. In a word, the evidence that EZ rising its trash-collecting frequency is not strongly support that EZ's service is better.
In the second place, the flaws undermine in the survey showing that the degree of satisfying on EZ's performance is high. The author tells us that 80 percent of respondents agreed to the performance. But he fails to show us the scale of the attendee in the survey. The percentage of villagers attending the survey might be low and the result is surely uncertificated. On the other hand, the attendees agree that they were satisfied with EZ's performance. However, the author does not put survey on the performance of ABC's and the situation might out of our imagination that the satisfaction degree of ABS is high above that of EZ. Based on the above assumptions, the survey is not persuasive enough.
There are several obscure date statistics that decline the reasoning. EZ ordered additional trucks but the arguer fails to illustrate the degree of the order -- the account of additional trucks in EZ might highly lower than that in ABC. The arguer tells us the exceptional service but did not mention what services are and whether it is convenient for the villager's life.
In summary, the argument is not persuasive as it stands. To rise it, the arguer have to illustrate clearly whether villagers are care about the trash-collecting frequency, the credibility of the survey and some vague statistics. Additionally, the arguer must provide evidence to rule out the above-mentioned possibilities that might weaken the argument.   



[ 本帖最后由 Satanic 于 2007-8-4 14:30 编辑 ]

SatanicUID: 2362211

When asked whether the nonmainstream inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuit play a vital role by satisfying human and exclude by mainstream science, people may find it hard to come to consensus due to their different background and conflicting values. However, as far as I am concerned, I strongly support the arguer's conclusion.
First of all, the nonmainstream inquiries（inquiry） exist(时态有问题，过去时) thousands of years ago in order to explain the facts that are beyond the illustrating ability of mainstream science.（表述方式有点怪，我觉的这样写好点，mainstream science cannot deal with.） The old saga （which is 可以删掉）about the magic dog in sky eating the moon is a vivid instance in（on） this occasion. Once upon the time, the assiduous, brave people living on this land live in（lived） a primitive way of life and they are（were） curious about phenomenon that they can not explain, such as the moon is bright and luminous at the middle of a（the Chinese lunar month） in old China lunar calendar（删掉） and as the coming of the end of a(the) month, the moon becomes dark and obscure gradually. The primitive man are(is) curious about this interesting astronomical phenomena but it is surely out (of)their explanation ability at that time. They thought out a legend that there is a magic dog on the sky and it is fond of mooncakes, presenting the moon in ancient China. At the middle of a month, it tastes the delicious mooncake and gradually the moon becomes smaller and smaller and finally totally dark and obscure. This legend is passed down as sagas, which indicates that in the ancient society, unsophisticated(unenlightened好点) primitive people are fond of finding the essence of nature phenomenon, however, when it is unavailable, they searched for paranormal pursuits of satisfying their enormous curiosity.   (感觉例子和占星等这些超自然的东西联系不是很紧密，也可以用，但好像差点，更多应该属于一种文化范畴吧。而且天狗吃月亮是指月食，不是指一个月内月亮的圆缺。)
Additionally, the nonmainstream areas as astrology, fortune-telling and psychic and paranormal pursuits can bring confidence and comfort for the worrying future. There is an old legend in China about a deity -- （the）son of the earth, shouting（shooting） suns by his arrows. In the sweltering summer, ten suns was hanging on the sky, toasting the grassless land and the suns makes the primitive intelligent people dying of thirst and famine. The brave son of the earth can not ignore the harsh living condition of people on his land, surprisingly, he shot down nine suns by his nine arrows and finally the earth cools down. This legend is handed down, although it might be still unbearing hot for ancient people, as thinking that they are in a much better condition than their precedents/forunner, they may pleased and not complaining about the bad living situation.（还是例子有些问题，和本端主题句中的bring confidence and comfort for the worrying future联系不紧密。）
Last but no least, the nonmainstream and the paranormal pursuits are correlated and unseperated in the future. One philosopher once said (and I paraphrase) every law can never ever-lasting and it has its own limitation. It can apply to scientific research. People supposed that the earth is flat or cubic before the Copernicus’s assumption. People comprehended that the sun is the center of the comic before the invention of astrological telescope which found there are other suns out of galaxy. With the expending（expanding） scale of scientific research, more （more and more）puzzles have find（found） their answers, （however之前要么用句号，要么用分号，不能用逗号。）however, new-born puzzles which people still can not explain look for paranormal causes.
In summary, it is likely that people will never to arrive at the same conclusion based on this controversial issue. However, taking （into）account all the dimensions discussed in this analysis about the correlationship（字典里找不到这个词） between mainstream science and paranormal pursuits might be a decisive step out of this dilemma
(总评：整个文章结构清晰，但在具体操作时不是很好，比如例子的选择与应用上个人感觉不是很贴切。
另外你举的前两个例子中国特色太强，如果在考试中，老外考官对中国文化不了解有可能看不明白。
不过我觉得这个题目确实不好写，我们的社会意识形态和文化与西方差别太大，而对于这样的题目，题目所说的超自然学科其实就是我们所说的迷信，但我们又不能批的太厉害，因为是完了是要给老外看的，他们又信这个。这个题我也写的很差，感觉无话可说。
呵呵，一起努力，加油！)

bbgUID: 2373668

In this analysis, the arguer attempt to convince us that what the Walnut Grove's town council has advocated to switch from EZ disposal to ABC Waste only because of the raised fee in EZ from $2000 to $2500 is, in some cases, mistaken. To substantiate this conclusion, the arguer provides some evidence that the trash-collecting frequency of EZ is higher, the EZ's additionally ordered trucks and the town survey agreed that EZ's performance is satisfied. While this argument has some merits, several conspicuous flaws may serious undermine the line of reasoning.
In the first place, the advantage of EZ's trash-collecting frequency is not competitative in some cases, however, on the contrast, it may luxuriously waste our labor and energy. The frequency of ABC's trash collection rises to twice a week but that's only once in ABC does not support the conclusion that EZ's service is better. The account of villager in Walnut Grove might be in little quantity and their daily waste produced ability is parallel low. The EZ rises its trash-collecting frequency up to twice a week might not be necessary -- the villagers might not care about this attribute, and, even more, it might be a new way of wasting labor, who has a higher salary nowadays, and energy -- as the high rising of crude old prize, the petrol prize is rising quickly. In a word, the evidence that EZ rising its trash-collecting frequency is not strongly support that EZ's service is better.（是不是EZ效率高，一次就够了；ABC 两次效果跟EZ一次效果比起来孰好？）
In the second place, the flaws undermine in the survey showing that the degree of satisfying on EZ's performance is high. The author tells us that 80 percent of respondents agreed to the performance. But he fails to show us the scale of the attendee in the survey. The percentage of villagers attending the survey might be low and the result is surely uncertificated.（investigators' information,年龄，工作，性格，说真话了么，是不是都是群小屁孩，还是写时尚女郎，是不是些根来对卫生要求低的人回答的，还有回答的人是这里的人么local citizens） On the other hand, the attendees agree that they were satisfied with EZ's performance. However, the author does not put survey on the performance of ABC's and the situation might out of our imagination that the satisfaction degree of ABS is high above that of EZ. Based on the above assumptions, the survey is not persuasive enough.
There are several obscure date statistics that decline the reasoning. EZ ordered additional trucks but the arguer fails to illustrate the degree of the order -- the account of additional trucks in EZ might highly lower than that in ABC. The arguer tells us the exceptional service but did not mention what services are and whether it is convenient for the villager's life.
其他公司怎么样，地球上真的救剩这两女的么？反正再怎么样，就是看不上EZ

In summary, the argument is not persuasive as it stands. To rise it, the arguer have to illustrate clearly whether villagers are care about the trash-collecting frequency, the credibility of the survey and some vague statistics. Additionally, the arguer must provide evidence to rule out the above-mentioned possibilities that might weaken the argument.   

icefirekkUID: 2293126

Whenasked whether the nonmainstream inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, andpsychic and paranormal pursuit play a vital role by satisfying human andexclude(which is excluded) by mainstreamscience, people may find it hard to come to consensus due to their differentbackground and conflicting values. However, as far as I am concerned, Istrongly support the arguer's conclusion.First of all,the nonmainstream inquiries（inquiry） exist(时态有问题，过去时) thousands of years ago in order toexplain the facts that are beyond the illustrating ability of mainstreamscience.（表述方式有点怪，我觉的这样写好点，mainstream science cannotdeal with.） The old saga （which is 可以删掉）about the magic dog in sky eating the moon is a vividinstance in（on） this occasion. Once upon the time, the assiduous,brave people living on this land live in（lived） aprimitive way of life and they are（were）curious about phenomenon that they can not explain, such as the moon is brightand luminous at the middle of a（theChinese lunar month） inold China lunar calendar（删掉）and as the coming of the end of a(the) month,the moon becomes dark and obscure gradually. The primitive man are(is) curious about this interesting astronomicalphenomena but it is surely out (of)theirexplanation ability at that time. They thought out a legend that there is amagic dog on the sky and it is fond of mooncakes, presenting the moon inancient China.At the middle of a month, it tastes the delicious mooncake and gradually themoon becomes smaller and smaller and finally totally dark and obscure. Thislegend is passed down as sagas, which indicates that in the ancient society,unsophisticated(unenlightened好点) primitive people are fond of findingthe essence of nature phenomenon, however, when it is unavailable, theysearched for paranormal pursuits of satisfying their enormous curiosity.  (感觉例子和占星等这些超自然的东西联系不是很紧密，也可以用，但好像差点，更多应该属于一种文化范畴吧。而且天狗吃月亮是指月食，不是指一个月内月亮的圆缺。)Additionally,the nonmainstream areas as astrology, fortune-telling and psychic andparanormal pursuits can bring confidence and comfort for the worrying future.There is an old legend in China about a deity -- （the）sonof the earth, shouting（shooting） suns by his arrows. In the sweltering summer, tensuns was hanging on the sky, toasting the grassless land and the suns makes the primitive intelligent people dying of thirst andfamine. The brave son of the earth can not ignore(bear)the harsh living condition of people on his land, surprisingly, he shot downnine suns by his nine arrows and finally the earth cools down. This legend ishanded down, although it might be still unbearing(unbearable)hot for ancient people, as (when)thinking thatthey are in a much better condition than their precedents/forunner, they maypleased and not complaining about the bad living situation.（还是例子有些问题，和本端主题句中的bring confidence and comfort for theworrying future联系不紧密。）Last but noleast, the nonmainstream and the paranormal pursuits are correlated andunseperated in the future. One philosopher once said (andI paraphrase) every law can never ever-lasting and it(删去it) has its own limitation. It canapply to scientific research. People supposed that the earth is flat or cubicbefore the Copernicus’s(是Aristotle,根据地球在月球上的影子推断出的) assumption(assertion).People comprehended that the sun is the center of the comic before theinvention of astrological(astronomical,天文望远镜不是占星术) telescope which found there areother suns out of galaxy. With the expending（expanding）scale of scientific research, more （more and more）puzzleshave find（found） their answers, （however之前要么用句号，要么用分号，不能用逗号。）however, new-born puzzles which people still can not explainlook for paranormal causes.In summary,it is likely that people will never to(去掉) arrive at the same conclusion basedon this controversial issue. However, taking （into）accountall the dimensions discussed in this analysis about the correlationship（字典里找不到这个词） between mainstream science and paranormal pursuits might be a decisivestep out of this dilemma
(总评：整个文章结构清晰，但在具体操作时不是很好，比如例子的选择与应用上个人感觉不是很贴切。另外你举的前两个例子中国特色太强，如果在考试中，老外考官对中国文化不了解有可能看不明白。不过我觉得这个题目确实不好写，我们的社会意识形态和文化与西方差别太大，而对于这样的题目，题目所说的超自然学科其实就是我们所说的迷信，但我们又不能批的太厉害，因为是完了是要给老外看的，他们又信这个。这个题我也写的很差，感觉无话可说。呵呵，一起努力，加油！)      仁兄说绝对了，超自然不一定是迷信，星座学、宗教、瑜珈(不是指健身这一方面)等都属于nonmainstream areas，不能否认它们的存在价值，尤其对西方人的精神减压方面
我在原来的基础上修的，原来的批语都没删去。


[ 本帖最后由 icefirekk 于 2007-8-6 20:57 编辑 ]

cofeebeanUID: 2289548

In this analysis, the arguer attempt to convince us that what[去掉，此处的引导词要用that] the Walnut Grove's town council has advocated to switch from EZ disposal to ABC Waste only because of the raised fee in EZ from $2000 to $2500 is, in some cases, mistaken. To substantiate this conclusion, the arguer provides some evidence that the trash-collecting frequency of EZ is higher, the EZ's additionally ordered trucks and the town survey agreed that EZ's performance is satisfied. While this argument has some merits, several conspicuous flaws may serious[改副词] undermine the line of reasoning.
In the first place, the advantage of EZ's trash-collecting frequency is not competitative in some cases, however, on the contrast[这个短语不太恰当，不如去掉], it may luxuriously waste our labor and energy. The frequency of ABC's trash collection rises to twice a week but that's only once in ABC[两个句子做主语？要不前面加个the fact that吧] does not support the conclusion that EZ's service is better. The account of villager in Walnut Grove might be in little quantity and their daily waste produced ability is parallel[用副词] low. The EZ rises its trash-collecting frequency up to twice a week might not be necessary[又是独立的句子做主语了，改个句型吧，用it might not be necessary that就可以] -- the villagers might not care about this attribute, and, even more, it might be a new way of wasting labor, who has a higher salary nowadays, and energy -- as the high rising of crude old prize, the petrol prize is rising quickly. In a word, the evidence that EZ rising its trash-collecting frequency is not strongly support that EZ's service is better.
In the second place, the flaws undermine[应该是lie in] in the survey showing that the degree of satisfying on EZ's performance is high. The author tells us that 80 percent of respondents agreed to the performance. But he fails to show us the scale of the attendee in the survey. The percentage of villagers attending the survey might be low and the result is surely uncertificated. On the other hand, the attendees agree that they were satisfied with EZ's performance. However, the author does not put survey on the performance of ABC's and the situation might [be] out of our imagination that the satisfaction degree of ABS is high above that of EZ. Based on the above assumptions, the survey is not persuasive enough.
There are several obscure date[应该是data吧] [in] statistics that decline[这个词不太恰当吧] the reasoning. EZ ordered additional trucks but the arguer fails to illustrate the degree of the order -- the account of additional trucks in EZ might highly lower than that in ABC. The arguer tells us the exceptional service but did not mention what services are and whether it is convenient for the villager's life.
In summary, the argument is not persuasive as it stands. To rise[这个词可以吗？] it, the arguer have to illustrate clearly whether villagers are care about the trash-collecting frequency, the credibility of the survey and some vague statistics[模糊的统计？语义语法皆不通啊]. Additionally, the arguer must provide evidence to rule out the above-mentioned possibilities that might weaken the argument.   [
一、 审题还是有问题噢，EZ并不是提升了服务次数，而是本来就是两次。
二、 攻击点基本上覆盖到了，但正文三稍嫌牵强，其实可以从预定的车不一定是用于该村这个角度攻击。]